Suana Police (On Being Israeli)

Yesterday, I stood in line at the bank, quietly and patiently while at least one person cut in line, and several others started yelling at the tellers. When my turn arrived, the teller literally hugged me and thanked me for being so kind and patient, and that he wished he could do something for me, on account of my exceptional behaviour. Other than the embarrassment factor, I was relieved and proud to know that my New England upbringing continues to serve me well.

Flush from the victory of American civility, I revealed my other side, my Israeli side, today. Sitting in the sauna after my swim, I gave a group of 13 year old boys a lecture about how the sauna is not a clubhouse, that the sign clearly says that you must be over 16 to participate in the sweat lodge, and that their parents would be ashamed of them. I did this no less than three times until they actually left and closed the door behind them, and marveled at how I have truly passed into the ritual of being a stodgy grown-up.

My diatribe was not motivated solely by my concern for these boys' blood pressure, nor would I deny that I need to relax in the sauna, and I had personal gain reasons for kicking them out. In Israel, it is an accepted social norm to listen in on other people's conversations and chime in uninvited; to give strangers "constructive criticism" about their mode of dress and any other topic in which we are all, obviously, expert.

I never imagined that I would cross that line, and start disciplining other people's children, though it reveals that in the ten years I have lived here, I not only dream in Hebrew, but also think like an Israeli much more than the American, my place of birth. I fully expect to go to a supermarket and bag my own groceries, and to have my bag checked when I enter any building; and I fully expect that I will be that older woman on the bus who tells the young mother with the crying child that she has gotten it wrong, her child is hungry and not tired, and she ought to do something about it right now.

Sharing Sugar in the Sauna

I am a Doctor of Chiropractic by profession, a political scientist by nature, and a photographer by passion.

Since I believe in practicing what I preach, I try to exercise every day, eat healthy, and have never been a smoker, and find it hard to even kiss a smoker. I take a Pilates studio course twice a week, and the rest of the week I swim.

In addition, since childhood I have received preventative Chiropractic re-alignments, as I know that the treatments keep me healthy.

I have a routine, swim one kilometer, and then I sit in the dry sauna for ten minutes to allow my muscles to relax and to allow my skin to breathe. What better place to meet interesting people and exchange stories, and get the pulse of the nation, when we are all sitting and sweating and hanging out?

Prime Minister Olmert is out, in a big way. Sauna enthusiasts across the political spectrum want him gone. Everyone wants to bring our kidnapped soldiers home, but not at the price of releasing known Palestinian terrorists.

Last week, a British gentlemen named Sean told me how he had experienced sexual assault in the lap lanes. Apparently every time he would pass a certain woman, she would slap in the gluteus maximus. He figures that since it happened ten times, in the same place, it was more than random coincidence. We had a laugh together, laughing with him of course, and not at him.

I also had a close encounter of the uncomfortable kind, when I was sitting alone in the sauna and the pool security guard came in, fully clothed, and told me that he wanted to get to know me better. Which meant him pushing me against the wall, putting his hands where they should not have been without permission, and trying to get his tongue in my mouth. Needless to say my martial arts training came in handy, and he was summarily fired.

This morning a Russian woman offered to share with me her secret "peeling" ingredient, and showed me a plastic bag with fine white crystals. At first I declined, because I assumed that it was an expensive spa-like product, or an illegal drug. Then she explained that it was in fact plain old white sugar, and that if you rub it on your skin while you are in the sauna, it acts as an extremely gentle and effective exfoliant.

I tried it, it felt wonderful, and my skin felt so smooth afterwards. To think that women spend so much money on facials and skin products, when the local supermarket has all you need, and at a fraction of the price.

Word of warning, shower after use, otherwise you will find yourself quite popular with the flies!