The Lame Duck Visits Israel

I gave the Israeli version of Survivor one more chance last night, and watched the agonizing episode. Luckily I had taped it, and was able to flip through the more tedious moments. I don't think I care who wins, in fact I hope they all get stuck in the Caribbean and don't return to Israel.

What I did notice while watching is that the behaviour of the Israeli contestants illustrate the basic flaws in our approach to a negotiation and settlement with the Arabs in our region.

Firstly, the players [in Survivor] seem to forget that this is a winner take all event, and instead, fought to keep the weakest player on board, while voting out another member of the tribe who could lead them successfully through physical challenges. Likewise, we Israelis try to apply Western values to a Muslim society which takes advantage of weakness. The more we try to give them, the more we say "they don't really mean to drive us into the sea," the more they will assail our land with bombs from the sky and terrorists from within.

Second, the Israeli Survivors talk too much, to the camera and to each other. They reveal too much of their plan to others, and the editors of the program do not have the common sense to leave out parts of the show that are noise and filler. The reason the American version of the television program works so well is because each episode has a formula, and it all fits into one hour, including commercials. On the local and international political negotiation front, we Israelis make the mistake of showing all our cards before anyone asks, we publish our secret plans on the front page of every newspaper, for all to read. It would not hurt us to selectively speak, and do more listening.

The long war that Israel and Jews have been fighting against the Arabs, and all those who would try to wipe us and our country off the map, boils down to one fact: in a winner-takes-all conflict, you lose by playing nicely with others. We must be proactive and offensive in our actions, we must protect our citizens first and foremost from those who have proven to be immediate and real threats. An idea that Prime Minister Olmert has failed to grasp, because he is too busy keeping himself out of jail.

Every other country on the planet would put their very existence and safety before others, that is a basic human right that Israel inexplicably denies itself.

Here's hoping that President Bush, when he visits Israel this week, can start to comprehend that Survivor reality.

SAA (Survivor Addicts Anonymous)

I am an addict. I admit it.

When I lived in the United States I watched Survivor religiously, and now that I live in Israel, my friend Mimi sends me tapes of the most updated seasons, which I watch religiously. When I receive the tape, I don't answer phones, I don't eat, I will pull an all-nighter if I have to, just to finish the latest installments. Then I log onto the CBS Survivor site and read the blog and the behind-the-scenes details. Over all the other reality type shows, Survivor seems to tap into the basic play of human nature, a real-life Lord of the Flies experience, where the best of the worst will emerge, and where the person with integrity will not always win the million dollars. (Worthy Winners: Tina, Ethan, Yul, Earl)

I sometimes play out of the fantasy of participating as a contestant on Survivor, after all, I know all the trivia and have various strategies and outcomes all played out, based upon previous seasons. Then I realize that strong women only get so far in the game, once you have proved your worth and the tribes merge, you are quickly ousted before the end of the game, to keep you away from the million dollars. (Wonder Women: Stephanie, Alicia, Ami) Unless you have large boobs which you flash often and play stupid so you can fly under the radar until miraculously, you are in the final three. (Boob Winners: Jenna, Amber) Then I also realize that my childhood camping days have long passed, and that as a civilized grown-up, I could not spend 40 days without a proper shower, a good night's sleep, and the promise of at least one healthy meal each day.

In addition to being addicted, I am also spoiled.

Right now I would simply love to attend one of the Finale shows, instead of eating bugs in the wilderness.

My friend Mimi is in fact one of the true real-life Survivors, she has recently recovered from Breast Cancer. After her most recent surgery, she came to Israel for two weeks, to assist her elderly mother move apartment . Mimi continues to be strong and optimistic, and will not allow the threat of a relapse stop her from living her life.

I hope and pray that the Mimi Show lasts long after the CBS show Survivor is forgotten.

Confessions of a Former TV Addict

While flipping channels yesterday, I came upon the latest reincarnation of Power Rangers and realized that the current Black Ranger, "Dr. Tommy O" is actually meant to be a wink so to speak to fans of the older show; Tommy, the pony-tailed Green Ranger who then became the White Ranger, was always my favorite and my faith in him has been justified; apparently he has achieved higher learning and become a professor and continues to fight evil, even as a grown-up.

Who could forget the political correctness of the original show, five teenagers representing the full spectrum of American society, though somewhat clothed in a less than politically correct way: Zack, the black kid, was the Black Ranger, Trini, the Asian, received the color yellow. The Red Ranger represented the white trash sector of the population, Billy the Blue Ranger represented the geeks, and Kimberly was all girl as the Pink Ranger. Kitch thrived in this show, and in its cousins, shows like Transformers, Thundercats, and that cross country race show where the only character I remember is Penelope Pitstop, who drove the pink girlie car.

Kitch defined lots of the television I watched during my formative and impressionable years, and I fully admit to watching way too much television. The Sunday morning ritual for my brother and myself gave my parents a chance to sleep in, as we were glued to the idiot box from 5:30 to 10 am, starting with classics likes Bugs Bunny and Road Runner, and Rocky and Bullwinkle - who taught me literature and opera and politics - and continuing on with cartoon like shows with terrible pre-CGI graphics.

That was its appeal, we knew that this did not represent reality, that each scene was filmed with little models later available at the toy store, that acting was not required, but rather extreme and deadly overacting. To this day, I would choose Captain Kirk over Captain Picard. Kirk overacted, broke all the rules, convinced computers to self-destruct by showing them their feelings, and got all the women; all this with a gut that would be unacceptable on television today. Picard, played by a gifted Shakespearean actor, ordered tea. Recently, watching a rerun of an original Trek show, the ship gets hit by an enemy vessel and the crew on the bridge starts flinging themselves around; if you look carefully, several of the extras are doing cartwheels on the set, celebrating their red shirt status. Now that is classic television.

These days, as a result of my toxic overexposure to television as a child, I have become quite selective of the television I do watch, and frankly, with the pace of my real grown up life, I have very little time during the week to zone out. As a Law and Order fan, I have no problem seeing former Senator Fred Thompson become President, he has more experience than Barack Obama, and inspires the kind of confidence and bravado that should keep the international community in line.

My one nasty television vice involves Survivor, the world stops when I watch that show, one of the first venues on television that exposed the greed and baseness of human nature (if you don't count the game show, Let's Make a Deal). I watch it as a sociologist, observing the depths of deception to which people are willing to go for money, and realize that perhaps my "Lord of the Flies" view of the world has some justification.

My friends tell me I should try out for the show, that I have the athleticism and brains to get far, maybe even win the million dollars. I hate to admit it, but I have become spoiled by basic creature comforts, and could not see myself living for 40 days without a shower, a steady supply of food and a good night's sleep. Gone are the days when I could go camping for several weeks, and stop paying attention to body odor. Besides which, as a scientist who has studied the data of Survivor, I know that the strong woman makes it to the jury but does not get the million dollars; ultimately, it's a man's world in TV land, and they won't allow a woman to out-sport them, or out-class them.

Unless you distract the men with a fantastic set of breasts...