What's Wrong with the Chareidim?

It started most recently when the Utlra-Orthodox community in which the Munchhausen mother lives chose to attack Jewish policemen, burn garbage bins and prevent the family from receiving the help they most desperately need. To admit that this woman has a pathological psychological disorder and needs intervention would be opening their community to the outside, and admitting that just because they are religious, they are not perfect and harmonious, but rather human. Having witnessed first hand in my work as a Chiropractor the devastating effects of a mother's Munchhausen by Proxy, I can say that this family, and the entire community, needs help in understanding and treating this disease.

Because she isn't really ill, and she didn't really endanger at least two of her children, it is a vast conspiracy against the Chareidi community.

As if the initial burst of violent and pointless protest wasn't enough, they took out traffic lights in major intersections throughout Jerusalem, not only destroying public property but also making driving in the Holy City dangerous. It would almost be acceptable (NOT) if they actually worked and paid taxes that would go toward repairing the accumulated damage they have caused thus far and over the years.

Then we have the ongoing Shabbat protests against the privately owned parking lot in downtown Jerusalem. These supposedly religious and Sabbath-honoring Ultra-Orthodox Jews somehow feel that it is preferable to spend their day of rest standing in the center of town, throwing rocks at cars attempting to enter the parking lot, and getting dragged away into police cars and getting arrested rather than spending quiet quality time with their family.

Because this parking lot represents a personal affront to the Chareidi community, who feel that they "own" Jerusalem and its politicians; Mayor Nir Barakat has had to increase security for himself and his family due to death threats from this supposedly morally superior community.

Then last night's news showed footage of the favored summer activity of young boys and teenagers from the Ultra-Orthodox set, who apparently have nothing better to do in between not getting a proper education during the school year. Captured on tape, these children take pot shots and completely dismember traffic lights in their neighborhood and throughout the city.

Because destruction of public property is AOK in Israel, as the modern State of Israel has not been sanctioned by G-d or their Messiah, and is the "Treife Medina" [Hebrew = the Non-Kosher State]

I can promise you that if they lived in any other country on the planet, this behaviour would not take place, as Rabbinic literature and halacha mandates that Jews respect the law of the land in which they live. Unless of course they live in the only Jewish State...hmm.

Once these boys return to their yeshiva studies, they will learn that they are better than everyone else because they dress like 18th century Polish nobility - the same class who stole Jewish property and historically randomly massacred Jews - and that is fine to pick up a smoking habit to inhibit their natural sexual drives. The Torah states that you are forbidden to do anything to yourself or others that directly leads to physical damage or death, but I suppose that smoking doesn't count. I blame society, but I blame the parents even more, for not making better choices for their children.

The Chareidi community consistently complains that they are misunderstood and misrepresented, but how can any rational human being think otherwise? How can the Ultra-Orthodox claim that they represent G-d's and the Torah's true intent?

This heathen thinks otherwise.

The Argument Against Prisoner Exchange

Gilad Shalit and his family are suffering. There is no question about that, and I feel for them, and I despair at the inadequacies of our current government.

To play the flip side, a point with which I equally agree and thus causes me great conflict: when a man or woman joins the army, they know that they might be captured or killed. Gilad Shalit knew this as well as anyone else.

In the last prisoner exchange, we broke through all the "red lines" and released not only terrorists with blood on their hands, but several high ranking and particularly heinous individuals. For the return of two dead bodies.

We have already upped the ante, and the Arabs know they can exploit our weaknesses.

What price Gilad? Is one man worth releasing 450 killers, who will return the favor by adding more bloodshed to the Israelis in the future? And by making a deal, does it not in fact encourage all terrorist groups to kidnap more soldiers, to bring about the release of more of their cronies legitimately jailed and held by Israel? Do we even know that Gilad Shalit remains alive?

As I have said before, I surely do not have the answers to these questions, and I do not presume to forecast the future.

1000 Days

Last night I attended the Solidarity meeting for the kidnapped soldier Gilad Shalit, who as of yesterday, has been in captivity for a full 1000 days. I joined the journalists and Israeli citizens, some of whom had driven several hours from all over the country to support the Shalit family; three weeks ago, they moved out of their home and into the protest tent across from the Prime Minister's house in Jerusalem.

Unfortunately, the Shalit family are returning to their home this morning, as the latest rounds of negotiations for Gilad's safe return have failed, and it looks like the responsibility will fall to the incoming Netanyahu government. I never trusted Ehud Olmert to get the job done: he had three years and only made it a priority when he was literally on his way out of office, and had to save his legacy and reputation.

Before the ceremony began, a PA system played a tape in Gilad's voice, saying, "My name is Gilad, son of Noam Shalit, a prisoner of Hamas. Save me." All the more heartbreaking when you know his mother and father and brother, his friends and relatives, have been living this reality every day.

Noam Shalit put Netanyahu on notice, saying that the incoming PM would not have his 100 days of political honeymoon; that the family and the country expected Gilad back not in "one hundred days, or ten days, or even ten hours." 1000 days have already passed, with opportunities wasted.

Meir Shalev, the noted Israeli author, encouraged the government to stop protecting their own "red lines" and put Gilad Shalit first. Notably absent the entire evening: both Ehud Olmert and Bibi Netanyahu, literal neighbors of the Shalit protest tent. Shame on them, they couldn't roll out of bed to support this family and encourage the country with some leadership?

The rally ended with a group prayer more inspirational than any Yom Kippur I have ever experienced, and of course with HaTikva. By the time we got to the Israeli national anthem, the crowd could barely sing, so choked up with tears.

What price Gilad? How many terrorists can and should be released to bring him home? I don't know how to answer that question.

But G-d keep Gilad safe and bring him home, so that he does not become another Ron Arad.

Terrorist are like Children

When disciplining children, the key is CONSISTENCY. When you say a child will receive a certain punishment if they misbehave, that consequence must appear every time there is an infraction, until they learn to associate the action with the result.

Once upon a time there was an Operation, Cast Lead, a very belated response to eight years of bombing of Israeli citizens by Hamas terrorists. Then, so that President Barack Hussein Obama's Inauguration would be headline free, Israel agreed to a ridiculous unilateral cease fire. The day Israel had cleared out from most of Azza, the bombings continued, and yet we ignored it, to keep the Americans happy.

The bombing has resumed once again, another soldier has been killed, so far in spits and spats; but as many of the Israeli leadership - across the political spectrum - have pointed out, little attacks become larger attacks, and before long we will again have to engage in a full-scale operation. The time to show our resolve is here and now, as the attacks are Hamas' way of testing us and seeing how much we will let them get away with.

Like manipulative children who need a firm hand of guidance, we must respond immediately, missile for missle, until they learn that we will no longer roll over and play dead.

Even President Shimon Peres, a man with whom I never thought I would agree on anything, said at Davos, "What other country would sit back while ten missiles [if not more] attacked its citizens on a daily basis?" Did the Turkish representative walk out because his brain kicked in and went into overload, when he realized that even Israel has a right to defend itself?

Harry, On the Mend

Last week, there was a period of several hours when my cat, Harry "The Highlander", acted in a manner most uncharacteristic to his normal behaviour. It passed, and I forgot about it until this past Thursday, when he stopped eating and drinking, did not want to go outside at all and rejected T-U-N-A. Chiropractic adjustments seemed to have no effect, though it had in the past. The tuna clinched it, and I took him to the vet after there was no evidence of using the litter box, after 24 hours.

Dr. Tzvi, the vet, ran a battery of tests, took blood and gave Harry an IV drip to deal with his dehydration. Every half hour or so, Dr. Tzvi would check our the lifeless lump that used to be my very active cat, look at his blood test results, shake his head and say to me, "This is not good at all," and yet refused to elaborate. When I would ask for details or try to understand the worst case scenario - having been raised in the Jewish/Polish mother model -the vet would refuse to explain until all data came in. But I was not supposed to freak out, of course.

The short version of the story: "most probably" a parasitic infection that is causing severe anemia and break-down of his red blood cells. If I had not brought him in for a check-up, he "probably" would have died over the weekend. Then he casually mentioned cancer and FIV as alternative diagnoses, if no improvement appeared within four days.

The good news: the very same day, after receiving the IV plus anti-biotics and steroids to avoid RBC break-down, Harry started to get ornery, used the litter box and tried to eat food. Today, one day later, he is more active and asking to go outside. Which he can't, until his 21 day course of anti-biotics is completed.

When I told my mother about the stress this caused, she did not hide her true feelings; there is some part of her that fears that I am falling into the Crazy Cat Lady stereotype, and that having a cat means I will die alone and single. Her immediate response to my sadness was, "Oh well, your cat is dying. Pets die you know..." Thanks for the sympathy and support, Mom; surprising all the more so because she grew up all her life with cats as pets.

The aspect of this episode that continues to bother me concerns the clinical approach (as expert and professional as I could want) towards my feelings and fears. Never mind the fact that I am the one paying the veterinarian's bill, all 600 NIS of it, but that fact that pets (as with children) reflect the environment created by their owner and in the home. Like any other doctor, he could use some improvement in his bed-side manner towards the human in this equation.

I always mock the American pet owners who take their dog or cat to an animal shrink, when their house mate misbehaves by peeing on the carpet or destroying furniture. It is ultimately therapy for the owner, as animals cannot speak English (duh) and they simply react to the atmosphere around them.

Oh, and I think that I would subscribe to a pet care HMO in Israel, if such a thing existed.

Joshua (Jesh) Leeder, Z"L

After a year of neurological symptoms, my uncle was misdiagnosed by several doctors, who told him he had a "bad case of Lyme Disease." When it was too late, they realized (what I and my father, 'mere Chiropractors,' had realized long ago) that Jesh had ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease, a severe attack on the neurological pathways which mostly affects men in their 40's through early 60's, and has no cure.

One year ago, Jesh fell into a coma, and the doctors, ignoring his DNR request, put him on life support. Of course, upon consultation with the Rabbi, it was decided that even though my uncle had vehemently refused extreme measures, NOW that he was on life support, he could not be taken off, according to the halacha as they see it.

In denial, his wife (and their 13 children) decided that it was still a simple case of Tick Fever, and that if they took him home to be surrounded by his family and friends, he would wake up one morning as if this all never happened.

Two days ago, my uncle Jesh Leeder, died. And the Rabbis, who before were willing to ignore his pain and suffering and personal wishes, felt that now that the body was just a shell, he should be buried immediately, without even waiting for some members of the family to arrive for the funeral.

Jesh was a man who lived by his convictions, a modest, talented and spiritual man, and his loss will be felt by many.

The implications of his death scare me more, in a selfish human way. In the last year, my father has lost both his older sister (one year older) and now his older brother (older by two years). I am not ready to G-d Forbid sit shiva.

I am hoping that my father has inherited his father's genes, a man who lived a somewhat active life for 25 years after a severe stroke. My grandfather was a stubborn genius: a surgeon, a Rabbi and Scholar, a Sofer (ritual Jewish ancient Hebrew script), and a Shochet (ritual Jewish slaughter expert for Kosher meat). He saved Uncle Jesh's hand from amputation as a child, by essentially inventing micro-surgery and personally supervising the rehabilitation process. My grandfather also disciplined his children in ways that today would alarm social services and would be considered child abuse.

My grandfather died when he was ready, and not a minute sooner, at the age of 84.

I wish my father a long life of health, happiness and success, may he, as his father before him, live to see his great-grandchildren.

Sarah Palin's "Secret" Pregnancy

Sarah Palin hid her pregnancy until the seventh month because she did not want it to interfere with the business of being Governor. She gave a speech about Alaska oil drilling as her amniotic fluid was leaking out. She gave birth one month early, to a Special Needs child, and returned to work three days later.

Now the ambitious career woman/supposed hockey-mom is toting around young Trig (Have you read the names of her children? There ought to be a law against that...) to show what a fabulous parent she is, and using his Downs Syndrome as proof to all those who may have doubted her sincere and religious conviction against abortion.

Her fans call her a "tough lady" and a "great mom."

I disagree and find it somewhat despicable that the woman who chose to have her husband raise their children - when he is not racing across Alaska in a dog sled -is now using her family as a political ploy. No wonder her supposedly abstaining teenage daugther Bristol (Did you catch that name? There ought to be a law...) got pregnant, there are no parents in the house to truly guide her.

An Eye for an Eye

One year ago, PM Ehud Olmert told a group of high school kids that the kidnapped soldiers, Regev and Goldwasser, were "probably dead." A posting on an Arab website described the poor condition of the two soldiers at the time of the kidnapping, the Arab witness claimed that at the time - two years ago - neither could walk without assistance, that they were bloody and beaten and would probably not survive the night.

Don't tell me that the government was surprised when they traded a very much alive Samir Kuntar, along with four other terrorists with blood on their hands, and 199 dead bodies, that they expected to get back two live Israeli captive soldiers.

I am relieved for these two heroes that they can be given a proper burial by their family, in their homeland.

I am afraid and sad that Gilad Shalit will become the next Ron Arad.

I anticipate that every terrorist group now knows that we will Israelis will sacrifice beyond the normal and rational, and that the kidnapping of Israelis and Jews will start all over the world, with no consideration on their part for the value of human life. All you need to do is observe the Prince's homecoming Kuntar and the other's received, to understand that our Arab neighbors are active and complicit in the goal of the destruction of Israel.

I think that we should have done an even trade, two dead bodies for two dead bodies. I would not have cried if one of those bodies had been Samir Kuntar.

Here's another scenario: Samir Kuntar get released as part of the original deal, and then gets re-arrested and thrown into a scorpion pit for the rest of life for announcing that as soon as he gets out of Israeli borders, he will be gearing up for the next set of Nassrallah-approved terrorist attacks against Israel, within Israeli territory.

When a vile terrorist, who has already killed women and children, makes that kind of statement on international television, he is asking for it.

Human Whack-A-Mole

This morning, in the women's dressing room at the pool, I overheard a conversation between two Anglo-Saxon women, both teachers. One woman said to the other, that she was disconcerted because her students always did their homework, and that some even asked for extra work during the summer vacation. These teenagers apparently did not talk back, and did not attack her physically. This woman closed the thought by saying that maybe she ought to return to her former school, where she felt uncomfortable and threatened, so she would feel more "challenged" and less "bored."

It is an accepted expectation that Israeli school children of all ages will be at the very least unmotivated and at the worst, violent.

After my swim, and before starting my Chiropractic day, I sat outside in a lounge chair, trying to soak up some Vitamin D. During the summer the pool is packed with day camps, and as far as I am concerned, they accept too many children and have too little supervision.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a five-year old boy was raising and lowering a rod-shaped swimming flotation device, whipping the area below him. It took me a second look to realize that he was not hitting the sidewalk, but rather two other boys, who lay on the ground cowering as they got hit in the head, over and over again.

I waited for the counsellor to break up the fight, I waited for the life guards to intervene, and no adult who witnessed the event stepped in. Finally, after three minutes - and violating my own rules -I walked over and grabbed the float away from the boy, and said in a firm voice (in Hebrew), "No. This is not acceptable play."

It disturbs me that the other responsible adults left it to a stranger to protect these young children from one of their peers. It disturbs me that a five-year old boy wore a sadistic smile on his face as he abused his friends, even as I took his weapon away. It disturbs me that the other children seemed to enjoy the bullying.

There is a fine line between the attitude of "boys will be boys" and "enough is enough." I believe that bullies become abusive teenagers and adults simply because the adults in their life do not set proper limits.

This can be applied equally to children in Israeli society, as well as to our Arab neighbors and enemies. The reason they continue to blow us up, kidnap us and bomb us, is because we Israelis and particularly our criminal PM Ehud Olmert does not reasonably strike back when attacked. We do not set limits and assert the right to defend ourselves. The more they terrorize us, the more we try to placate them, showing them that there are no consequences to their bad behaviour.

We had better learn this Zero-Tolerance lesson soon, before our children - no matter how well behaved - do not have a place to call home.

The Orthodox Organ Donor Debate

Years ago, in my senior year in college (1991), I attended a lecture by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein's son-in-law, Rabbi Moshe Tendler, on the topic of living wills, and the philosophical discussion of quality versus quantity of life. An advisor to the American President and Dean of Yeshiva University, Tendler argued that an Orthodox Jewish human being could in fact participate in the decision to disconnect from life support, that each individual could judge for him or herself regarding the potential end of their life in this incarnation. Even in making this choice, the final decision remains in G-d's hands, whether or not you continue to breathe and function once the machines are turned off.

In fact, the RCA has accepted a halachically accepted version of a living will, based upon a previous text devised by the Conservative Jewish movement.

In traditional Jewish literature, the human body as vessel to a holy Jewish soul is not meant to be desecrated in any way, which includes tattoos, smoking, self-mutilation, autopsy or organ donation. This week, Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis in Israel have adopted the policy that not only does organ donation save lives - one donor can save between four and five people - but that it is halachically permissible, and should be encouraged among the Orthodox, who currently rank very low in the organ donation registration.

This decision has in turn generated furious debate this week among the various sects of the Ultra Orthodox Israeli leadership, claiming that brain death cannot be used as a primary criteria; and that this is simply a political move to give the religious stamp of approval for a failing government policy.

Once again, the Ultra Orthodox community chooses separation and closure over integration and cooperation, choosing to see anyone outside their community as an "other." Thus allowing them to continue their disrespect of their fellow man - Jewish or Gentile - under the illusion that in order from them to be right, everyone else must be wrong, because G-d must like them better.

Perhaps we should gain more insight and inspiration from the parents living in Tekoa, a mixed community in Gush Etzion (yes, over the Green Line), whose recent choice of organ donation from their comatose baby daughter saved four lives, two of them Arab.

Funeral Groupies

Every time a soldier dies in this country, the news will announce the time and location of his funeral, and thousands of people will attend, most of whom do not even know the family or the one who was killed. It is part of the "One Big Family" syndrome in Israel, and it is the anonymous person's chance to try to help, just by being there.

Last night I paid a shiva call to the Moses family in Efrat, whose 16 year old son Avraham Dovid was murdered last Thursday night in his school, along with seven other innocent boys. Not that one expects a shiva to be fun or entertaining, but there was a wierd energy in the room. Naftali Moses (the father of the boy) balanced his attention between those who had come to keep him company and offer comfort, and his children. His 11 year old son sat next to him, and I believe that he will suffer the most when he fully registers the impact of the death of his brother, who was closest to him in age. As Leah Moses, the stepmother of Avraham Dovid said, "they were each other's rocks."

Another daughter, desperate for her father's attention, started pulling her shirt up and crawling onto Naftali's lap; some woman had the gaul to try to pull the child away, thinking it was the "right thing" to do. The youngest daughter, a social talkative four year old, was very busy planning a sleep over, and canvassed the room to see if she had chosen the appropriate pajamas.

For the most part, the room was quiet, and then an older Israeli woman started chatting away, saying that she did not know the Moses family at all, but that she had an uncle who died recently at the age of 92, and was buried nearby on Kibbutz Lavi. She further explained that she was at this shiva house to show her support for those who live in the Gush and suffer from terrorist attacks.

Later that evening, I saw this same woman gazing adoringly at the photo of Avraham Dovid Moses, and stroking the image, as if it were her own child.

Who is to say what is and is not apporpriate at times like these? I give this woman the benefit of the doubt, and bless her for the kindness she showed this family.

I was at the pool the Friday right after the terror attack, and standing practically naked in the locker room, a Russian woman (also in a towel and not much else) just started shouting. In anger, in grief, to anyone who would listen and respond. She expressed her sadness at the death of these eight boys, her rage at the governement that cannot seem to protect its citizens, and continues to push through the idea of peace and cooperation with those who would murder us, citizen by citizen. This particular Russian woman felt that the best and only solution was for the Israeli government to give out free guns to any Israeli citizen - as opposed to the Israeli Arab citizen who walked into the yeshiva and shot more than 600 rounds of bullets - so that we may protect ourselves in the future.

Who is to say what is and is not appropriate at times like these? But thank G-d for the solider who killed the terrorist, before he could do even more harm.

The Spring Roll Strike

Israel's Asian restaurants refused to serve spring rolls yesterday, to protest the government's plans to sabotage the employment of foreign chefs. "Today there is no egg roll, and in two weeks there will be no sushi and noodles." Considered part of the "foreign worker" problem, Asian cooks will be purged from theme restaurants, unless of course you are willing to pay twice the average national salary to keep them on.

The Israeli argument states that non-Asians can be trained to achieve the same high quality results. This initiative comes at a time when speciality restaurants are opening fast and furious all over the country, and when the slide of the dollar allows people to splurge more often on luxuries, like a sushi dinner.

The argument falls apart when you consider the essential laziness and elitism of the modern Israel. The same time that Israelis complain about unemployment, they refuse to fill jobs such as elderly care-takers, a market dominated by men and women from the Philipines, brought over both legally and illegally. These foreign workers take better care of the Israeli aging generation, our parents and our grandparents, than any Israeli would choose to do for their own family member.

This is not the Israeli who came over to British Palestine by boat from Europe, who dug out swamps and built houses for Jews, brick by brick.

So please don't take away my expert sushi makers, and instead think about a reasonable, fair and effectively implemented policy that will benefit Israel in the long run.

Girl Power

From a newspaper clipping in the New York Times, that has been in my wallet for close to 20 years:

Benazir Bhutto, the dismissed Pakistani prime minister, has given her three children advice in case they are ever teased in school about her downfall, reports Newsweek: "I told them to say, 'My Mummy has been prime minister twice. How many times has your mummy been prime minister?' "

Not just prime minister, but the first and only woman to be the leader of a Muslim country, and her murder represents a tragic blow for Pakistan, and for democracy everywhere.

Although I was encouraged by the news that her son and husband would be taking up her mantle, I can't help but wonder why a female blood-relative was not given that opportunity, based upon the late Benazir Bhutto's success.

That being said, I do not think that Hilary Clinton should be given the same opportunity in the American Presidential race. Despite the fact that the Times has given her a 3-in-1 chance of winning the overall election, I do not feel that she has the right stuff for bridge building, either within Washington and overseas. And it has nothing to do with her having a pair of breasts.

G-d's Intentions Gone Awry

Today's English Haaretz reported the following on the financial pages: "More than 70% of Ultra-Orthodox men and about 50% of women are not employed, and most of their families live below the poverty line...since most of the men in the Ultra-Orthodox community dedicate most of their time to religious studies and do not work, the burden of making a living falls on the woman. However, many of these woman cannot find work due to a lack of professional skills and training, as well as the heavy burden of child rearing."

The Ultra-Orthodox community passes on the the cycle of poverty to the next generation, by failing to provide their sons with a secular education past the eighth grade, and by perpetuating the role of the girl as future young mother, sole provider, and martyr to the cause. Furthermore, this community isolates themselves with their refusal to serve in the army in the country in which they live and take advantage of financially.

When G-d said, "Be fruitful and multiply, " the Supreme Being did not intend this scenario: One million and a half children living below the poverty line, emotionally and physically neglected, arrogantly taught that they are morally superior, thus promoting intolerance, hatred and civil war.

I am reading a book now called "God, A Biography" written by Jack Miles. Mr. Miles - a religious man who believes that the Old Testament is divinely inspired - uses the literal text of the Tanach (Hebrew Bible) to create a profile of G-d, as the Supreme Being evolves with the evolution of man into various nations. By Miles' account, G-d starts out as the Creator of Mankind, then becomes the Terminator. He begins by giving Man blessings and complete freedom ("in his own image"), has a brief run of trying to take back some of the privileges (you can't get the toothpaste back into the tube), and in the end, is co-opted by Man for their own manipulative purposes.

This view certainly would disturb the faithful, and yet, the text supports it. G-d creates Man without an apparent plan for leadership or discipline, looses his temper frequently, impulsively over-reacting with his punishments and then immediately falling into regret and backtracking. For many cultures he becomes a theoretical stick, the Ultimate Monster in the Closet, waved at the nation as a threat, or used to advance personal power.

There must be a Higher Power in the Universe, and there must be a larger plan; if we were not handed a template, I believe that Man would have to invent the idea, to make sense of the chaos of daily life. But for anyone to use ritual and religion to encourage war, terror, division and sloth, shame on humanity. And shame on our errant Prime Minister and the Israeli government for giving into the religious parties' political blackmail.

Professor Dumbledore, Will You Please Come Out of the Closet

On behalf of Harry Potter, an orphan who has no parents to speak in his defence, I would like to report his beloved mentor, Professor Albus Dumbledore, for molestation. That's right, now that the esteemed teacher and fighter of evil has been outed, one cannot help but wonder what Harry Potter and he were really doing in all those late night study sessions. For that matter, didn't Professor Snape also spend a lot of one-on-one time with Harry in detention?

Of course, Professor Dumbledore is deceased, and lives only in the portraits on the wall, but dammit, if the various magical persons in all the paintings at Hogworts can interact in real time with students and each other, they can be jailed post mortem.

Why is it that magic must be associated with deviance of a sort? What did JK Rowling gain by declaring that Dumbledore prefers the Wizard over the Witch?

Much like the hullabaloo over the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis, literature makes statements and passes along morality on multiple levels. As a Jewish girl reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the Christian references flew way over my head, and I simply enjoyed the series as a tale about adventurous children in a parallel universe who receive the protection of a kindly magical lion. Aslan doesn't even sound like Jesus...

The television show Sesame Street began when I was one year old, and Big Bird's friend Mr. Snuffleuppagus was conceived initially as a real friend of Big Bird's, who just happened to disappear when any human adult showed up on the scene. (Much like Clark Kent and Superman, they are never around at the same time, hmmm...) In time, the show revealed the melancholy Woolly Mammoth to the remaining residents of Sesame Street; they feared that a child who had been abused or bullied would not approach adults for help, because he/she believed that adults are either stupid, or would not believe their story.

This of course did not go far enough for the liberal "gay" 90's, when speculation ran rampant regarding Bert and Ernie's sexual orientation. I would like to point out that they were roommates, sharing a one-bedroom flat in a very expensive New York real estate market, and that they slept in separate beds. Not once in my growing up and watching the show did I consider another more insidious insinuation.

In Israel, they forgo any subtlety, and the two Ernie and Bert-like puppets who appear in the ads for the Electric Company are known to be gay; one is the "female" and the other is the "male." The verbal pun on an electrical socket works better in Hebrew, but you get the idea.

Perhaps, Rowling created a gay character in the importance of Dumbledore to give courage to children reading her books, children who may have questions about their sexuality but may be afraid to announce it or discuss it with adults. In that case, make Neville gay, he emerged heroic at the end of book seven and in fact in the future, teaches at Hogwarts. Hooray for macho gay Neville and kudos to his Alma mater for have a non-discriminatory hiring policy.

This Dumbledore incident raises the same concerns for me as the Gay Pride Parade in Jerusalem. Call me a prude, but I believe that every person is entitled to his and her privacy as regards choices of intimacy. I don't need to see a heterosexual couple having sex in their car or snogging at a street corner, and the same applies for me with homosexuals, bisexuals and the magical folk. (Being politically correct, I must immediately apologize to any other active sexual group for not mentioning you, I actually don't want to watch you in the bedroom either.)

What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom, across the board.

When the gay and lesbian community feels the need to have a parade in Jerusalem, specifically after they have marched in several other cities in Israel, it tells me that they themselves are not comfortable enough in their own skin and their own status. They must be "in the face" of the rest of the presumed intolerant population, in a city that is holy to all religions. Because if there is a parade that divides the city, and starts civil and religious war, people will have to notice them.

As a Jewish woman, I also don't have a great need to attend a synagogue that is egalitarian, simply because it gives women a larger role in the Orthodox ritual. I am content with my personal relationship with G-d, and I don't need the boys' club to let me in to feel better about myself spiritually, or to prove something.

We are all so busy trying to be "tolerant" and "inclusive", that we lose our internal truths. Instead of pulling over a suspicious 25 year old Muslim male in the airport, the 86 year old woman bringing donuts to her grandchildren is stripped-searched, because the cream inside the pastry might be an explosive. International travel may not be any safer, but at lease we did not offend the Arab terrorist.

Positive Parenting

I was sitting on my porch today, when one of my cats (Sarel "Runs Like Rabbit") jumped down into the garden. A few minutes later, I saw him eating something, along with a little girl and her mother standing by and watching quietly. Assuming that not everyone understands a cat's nutritional needs, I asked the little girl what she had fed him, and she answered, "Leftover chicken." Proteins are fine for cats, though they prefer it raw and I can't vouch for the recipe her mother had used; I thanked her on behalf of my cat, who was busy scarfing down the unexpected treat.

The little girl, a confident and friendly five or six year old, seeing that I was officially owned by Sarel, explained that she had seen him touring the neighborhood, and was wondering why he didn't have a tail like other cats. I told her the story of how I found him (run over), how he had surgery and not only lived through it, but has thrived significantly since. She then said that she liked feeding cats on the street, she liked sharing their family's food. The whole time, her mother stood by, observing our conversation, and I can only assume that it was her mother who packed the bag of leftovers for her daughter to distribute.

I have witnessed other occasions, most specifically the children of the Ultra Orthodox set, shouting, throwing rocks and kicking street cats, or dogs whose owners have let them out for some fresh air. Apparently the theory states that cats and other common household pets are not "Kosher" (Edible for religious Jews) and therefore cannot be owned, and nor should they be treated with any respect as a living being. Because G-d created all beings, but those that do not stand on two legs and can understand the Torah, and are worthy of being consumed, deserve less.

When I go out to feed the street cats in my area, I often pass an older Israeli man, who thanks me for showing these animals kindness, and will bless me and say, "A person who treats animals with love has love in their heart for all beings." Those who abuse animals most probably don't treat their human counterparts much better.

I can only hope that when I have children, they turn out like this sweet, loving girl I met today, in the way that she treats both human and feline; her parents have obviously given her a proper education, and I commend them for it.

Raising Our Parents

I am a grown up, with a successful career, a string of mostly positive life choices, fun hobbies and good friends. I am single, to the extreme disappointment of my parents, because after hundreds of dates, several long term relationships and one broken engagement, I would rather be happy and single than be married and miserable with the wrong person. Through life experience, lots of hard work and introspection and a little therapy, I have become a person whose company I enjoy, almost unrecognizable from the person I was growing up.

My mother still speaks to me like I am the sullen, introverted, judgemental 13 year old, living in her house. My friends tell me that no matter how much they have achieved in life, their parents treat them the same way, it's "natural" to fall into habits that were set years ago, modes of relating and behaviour that are so hard wired that even a complete Reset would not get rid of it.

I give others the benefit of the doubt that I afford myself, if I can change, if I am willing to put in the effort and the pain of examining the proverbial elephant camped in the middle of the room, so why can't my parents? Several weeks ago, with no apparent trigger, a routine phone call with my mother turned into a psychological nightmare. My mother launched a ten minute diatribe, actual character assassination; that she does not enjoy speaking to me and that there is nothing in my life that she be proud of. That I reflect her failure as a mother, and I must leave my independent life, move back into my parents house so they can fix me.

My only so-called failure in this case was my not hanging up immediately when she started spewing garbage. I have since not spoken to her, and through my father relayed the message that I await an apology, an apology that comes from the truth of knowing and understanding that you have hurt someone you love, an apology that says that she has examined her own motivations and will try her hardest not to repeat her performance.

Her version of the story is that I owe her an apology for hanging up on her, because she cannot admit her responsibility here, because she would rather be the victim than admit that she has victimized someone else.

I wait for this apology, hoping that this blackout period of communication will make a difference. I may be waiting for a long time...