What's Wrong with the Chareidim?

It started most recently when the Utlra-Orthodox community in which the Munchhausen mother lives chose to attack Jewish policemen, burn garbage bins and prevent the family from receiving the help they most desperately need. To admit that this woman has a pathological psychological disorder and needs intervention would be opening their community to the outside, and admitting that just because they are religious, they are not perfect and harmonious, but rather human. Having witnessed first hand in my work as a Chiropractor the devastating effects of a mother's Munchhausen by Proxy, I can say that this family, and the entire community, needs help in understanding and treating this disease.

Because she isn't really ill, and she didn't really endanger at least two of her children, it is a vast conspiracy against the Chareidi community.

As if the initial burst of violent and pointless protest wasn't enough, they took out traffic lights in major intersections throughout Jerusalem, not only destroying public property but also making driving in the Holy City dangerous. It would almost be acceptable (NOT) if they actually worked and paid taxes that would go toward repairing the accumulated damage they have caused thus far and over the years.

Then we have the ongoing Shabbat protests against the privately owned parking lot in downtown Jerusalem. These supposedly religious and Sabbath-honoring Ultra-Orthodox Jews somehow feel that it is preferable to spend their day of rest standing in the center of town, throwing rocks at cars attempting to enter the parking lot, and getting dragged away into police cars and getting arrested rather than spending quiet quality time with their family.

Because this parking lot represents a personal affront to the Chareidi community, who feel that they "own" Jerusalem and its politicians; Mayor Nir Barakat has had to increase security for himself and his family due to death threats from this supposedly morally superior community.

Then last night's news showed footage of the favored summer activity of young boys and teenagers from the Ultra-Orthodox set, who apparently have nothing better to do in between not getting a proper education during the school year. Captured on tape, these children take pot shots and completely dismember traffic lights in their neighborhood and throughout the city.

Because destruction of public property is AOK in Israel, as the modern State of Israel has not been sanctioned by G-d or their Messiah, and is the "Treife Medina" [Hebrew = the Non-Kosher State]

I can promise you that if they lived in any other country on the planet, this behaviour would not take place, as Rabbinic literature and halacha mandates that Jews respect the law of the land in which they live. Unless of course they live in the only Jewish State...hmm.

Once these boys return to their yeshiva studies, they will learn that they are better than everyone else because they dress like 18th century Polish nobility - the same class who stole Jewish property and historically randomly massacred Jews - and that is fine to pick up a smoking habit to inhibit their natural sexual drives. The Torah states that you are forbidden to do anything to yourself or others that directly leads to physical damage or death, but I suppose that smoking doesn't count. I blame society, but I blame the parents even more, for not making better choices for their children.

The Chareidi community consistently complains that they are misunderstood and misrepresented, but how can any rational human being think otherwise? How can the Ultra-Orthodox claim that they represent G-d's and the Torah's true intent?

This heathen thinks otherwise.

My Peace Proposal

Let's establish first that Peace must begin on a small scale, with changes in the attitudes of individuals and the desire of individuals to live differently and better. Let us also establish that in many cultures, but especially Judaism, food and meals are the center of human interaction among both families and friends.

Living in Israel, I observe with pain the division and animosity (which sometimes leads to physical violence) between various sectors of the Jewish population. Religious and Secular. Religious and Ultra-Orthodox. Sephardic and Ashkenazic. Sabras and Immigrants. Immigrants and Immigrants.

The upcoming major holiday of Pessach accentuates these differences, with the normal dietary restrictions overlaid with the hot subject of "Kitniot" (Legumes), a food group which Sephard Jews can eat and Ashkenaz Jews shouldn't even look at, lest they turn to stone. (I will not even start with the Gebrachts issue.)

You see it in the supermarkets, which gouge the customers as soon as they add a little sticker on an item that says "Kosher for Passover." Most items in the supermarket are "Kosher for Passover for those who are allowed to eat Kitniot." Furthermore, many would argue that I cannot even visit my Sephardi friends during the holiday, as I would be exposing myself to forbidden Ashkenazi foods.

Kitniot, like many things in Judaism, is qualified as "minhag," a custom with deep roots in history. Now that all Jews - and for that matter, all beings - are connected through globalization, and we live side-by-side in the same JEWISH country, I say we knock down the wall of Kitniot. I say we allow all Jews, religious and non-religious, to eat together and enjoy each other's company on a holiday which celebrates our common past and our families.

One small step of dining together could lead to major developments in Israel, such as the end of the Shas (Ultra-Religious Sephardic) political party; such as a basic understanding and growing tolerance for each other as people rather than ethnic groups. And most importantly, the unification of the Israeli and world-wide Jewish population, which will change the way the international community expects to treat us.

Anti-Semites can be fought more easily, and Israel would not be pushed into deals with terrorists, because our inherent right to live and live safely would be respected.

Together we are strong, and together we can decisions for the future of all our people.

The Responsibility to Vote

With less than 24 hours before the voting booths open around the country, I think it is important to point out that the United States has some good lessons to teach other democracies. In the States, there are two large parties - the Democrats and the Republicans - with a smattering of small independent parties that rarely get notice. Neither of the big parties necessarily represent everything for which you stand, but there is normally a clear side or candidate that works for you.

By having two large parties, the chances of bickering are slim to none, as the majority rules in the House and in the Senate.

Israel, a so-called Parliamentary Democracy, has up to 40 parties large and small each election. The negotiating and bargaining are inevitable, and everyone loses, as the larger parites do not get enough votes to have a clear majority of 61 in the Knesset. Shas gets to exort money for its seminaries, other parties lobby for various Ministerial positions for which they are not qualified; and the country, instead of being able to start clean and fresh, gets stuck in the same old garbage.

The three to four big parties running in this election are: Likud (Central-Right), Kadima (Central-Left), Labour (running out of steam) and the dark horse Yisrael Beiteinu (the Fascist Lieberman party). Many potential Likud voters are planning on voting for Lieberman because they subscribe to his extreme right positions, and make the assumption that Netanyahu of the Likud will get enough seats to become Prime Minister.

Do the math! If all you people don't vote for Likud and instead vote for the Russian, Netanyahu will lose the ever shrinking advantage with which he started, and then we get stuck with Kadima, again. I encourage all those who lean to the right to cast their vote for Likud, so we can see real change in this country.

If I had my way, I would have four parties in the system: Central-Right, Central-Left, Far Right and Far Left. This would force natural allies to unite, and would significantly cut down on the destructive post-election bargaining.

Direct Elections, Jerusalem

Today I get to vote in an election that has not been pre-determined by blue states and red states, the Electoral College or a rigged computer system.

Today I get to vote in direct elections for Mayor of Jerusalem, one of the poorest, dirtiest and unemployed cities in the Middle East, despite its high standing in every major religion.

Today I take my stand against Meir "G-d Likes me Best" Porush and the Ultra-Orthodox infiltration that has ruined the place in which I have lived for over eleven years.

Take advantage of democracy and your rights as a citizen; get off the couch and get to the voting booth.

Allow Nir Barakat to have a chance to improve our lives and safeguard Jerusalem.

Showing Their Cards

Every once in a while, politicians forget to bluff and say what they actually mean, for better or for worse.

For better: three cheers to Benny Begin, who has chosen to rejoin Likud in lieu of the elections coming up in February of 2009. He is a good man with integrity - kind of the reason he did not succeed last time - but maybe his presence will inspire and help turn others around.

For worse: Meir Porush, one of the candidates for Mayor of Jerusalem, made a speech in Yiddish last night, so the rest of us goyim would not understand him. He said that his great hope "...in another decade, no secular person will be mayor of any city [in Israel], except perhaps some miserable villiage." His plan also includes making Jerusalem inhospitable to anyone but the Charedim, part of his global Ultra-Orthodox conspiracy.

Meir Porush indeed looks down upon us pagans, but as a politician running in elections less than a week away, how stupid to say it, in Yiddish or Hebrew or English or Swahili. A candidate will have reporters following him around, and many citizens of this country can translate.

When confronted by the press today, Porush did not deny his statement, but rather took up the Scooby Doo approach, "Darn, I said it in Yiddish so most of you would not understand it! If not for those pesky kids..." This is NOT a man who should win the election next week.

Porush's response begs a comparison to another unfit candidate, Barack Hussein "Non-American Citizen" Obama, who did not deny attending the dinner in honor of the Palestinian terrorist; espressing regret only because he got caught on tape doing so.

A good leader takes responsibility, and neither Porush nor Obama fit the bill. Nir Barakat does.

The Wall Street Progrom

(Thoughts for a Friday)

I am not sure why anyone is surprised at the huge outburst of anti-Semitic remarks across the world in the wake of the collapse of Wall Street, and its influence on world markets.

After all, anyone with half a brain who lives in the Midwest (or anywhere in Europe) and has married their first cousin knows that the Wall Street crisis has nothing to do with George Bush, or the natural cycle of the economy. Everyone knows that the Jews control the entire supply of money in the world - hell, in the Universe - in addition to controlling the government, Hollywood and the garbage pickup on every day except Thursday.

For sure, 9/11 is the Jews' fault, because we had the gall to work in some buildings in Manhattan, and the Arabs were just doing their job by trying to kill us.

And that Jewish man or woman with whom you had an affair, that person who supposedly ruined your marriage? It must be the Jews' fault, because we are so darned good looking. (Look at what Monica Lewinsky did to the Clinton administration, as an example.)

My final observation, as long as we are talking about the irrational and dangerous; the campaign posters for Meir Porush, in his Mayoral bid, show him as a smiley Santa-like cartoon character, with the tag line, "Jerusalem will love Meir Porush," like we don't have a choice in the matter. Well, Jerusalem voters, we do have a choice, in fact an imperative to end the Ultra-Orthodox stranglehold on our city. Porush is not a cartoon unfortunately, but a real person with extremist ideals and lacking the support of his own people. (It doesn't really mater, because the Chareidi community does the mitzva of allowing the dead to vote.)

Jerusalem has suffered for too long, and I believe that Nir Barakat is the candidate to return the honor of one of the most treasured cities on the planet and throughout history.

History in the Making, or Huge Blunder

With the announcement by the McCain campaign of his choice of Vice-Presidential candidate, there are a whole new set of considerations for someone like me, a blue-blooded Democrat who does not want to vote for Barack Obama.

I have analyzed several factors regarding the choice of Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, interspersed with hilarious quotes from an op-ed piece by David Brooks.

1. She is woman: Very smart, given the 18 million disaffected female voters on the Democrat side, who did not get Hillary Clinton the nomination.

DB "Hillary Clinton's ringing endorsement of 'the weak-looking thin guy who's bound to lose.'"

2. She is extremely Pro-Life: This troubles me, in huge way. Just because she is a religious Soccer Mom, head of the PTA and mother of a child with Downs Syndrome whom she refused to abort, does that mean that I lose my right of choice? I treasure the division between Church and State, even if it is in name only.

3. She comes from of all places, Alaska, and both she and her husband are "real people": Excellent, given that Barack Obama has been critisized for not being in touch with the average American, black or white.

DB "We got to know Barack and Michelle Obama, two tall, thin, rich, beautiful people who don't prespire, but who nonetheless feel compassion for their squatter, and smellier fellow citizens."

4. She lacks experience: Actually fantastic, because if any Democrat dares to address this point, it bounces right back and them and hurts Obama in a big way. In fact the amount she has accomplished in such a short time, given the structure of her life, is quite impressive. If you want something done right, give it to a woman who is already busy.

DB "Barak Obama loves the future, because that's where all his accomplishments will be."
"We heard about his time as a community organizer, the three most fulfilling months of his life."

5. Her son will be serving in Iraq: Both positive and negative, given that she cannot be faulted for not contributing to the cause of a (lost) war, she might even work to end the war faster, to bring her son home. On the other hand, it means she supports the war which Bush blundered, and I just want our soldiers out of there; let the locals fight it out amongst themselves.

6. She actively supports using American oil resources (in Alaska): Not great for the environment, but a clever move given that Obama has spoken about the same idea. More cross-over from the Democrat faithful.

7. The perpetual question, is it good or bad for the Jews? The Republican Jewish Coalition Executive Director, Matt Brooks, says that Palin has "enjoyed a strong working relationship with Alaska's Jewish community."

It seems in this election that actually the VP will be the determining factor; if McCain dies in office, do you want Sarah Palin in there, after all, he is 72 years old. If Obama falters, he has a VP with slightly more experience, though not always for the benefit of his consituents and the American people.

DB "We heard from Joe Biden, whose 643 years in the Senate make him uniquely qualified to pander to the middle class... and who is himself a verbal train wreck waiting to happen."

Youth counts here, Barak and Palin's youth, McCain and Biden's age.

Either way, history will be made with a black President, or the first woman Vice-President.

Get Naked Against Chametz

With only a sock to protect his private parts, a 27 year old seminary student stripped down in a supermarket in Bat Yam that was selling chametz (leavened bread) over Pessach. Protesting the government's decision to allow the sale of chametz in restaurants and supermarkets - areas deemed not public by the new law - this student reasoned if this particular market was private according to the law, he could romp around in his birthday suit.

Despite his failed methodology, I applaud this student for taking a stand on an issue much deeper than the availability of hamburger rolls: the very identity of the Jewish people in a Jewish state. In fact, the same argument can be applied to the sale of pork products. The Jewish State was founded by and for Jews by Ben Gurion and his cohorts, on the basis of Jewish history and halachic law, and so how can chametz be sold publicly on Pessach, or how can a law be passed to subsidize pig farmers?

Let's face it, if someone is desperate enough to have some toast this week with their morning coffee, they will find it; and if someone must have bacon with their scrambled eggs, they will find it as well, and they will pay premium price for it. Once the Torah becomes a bargaining chip or merely a symbolic cultural heritage, all is lost in terms of the Jewish identity of the State of Israel.

Zionist history will note that Ben Gurion - a self-proclaimed secular Jew - always carried a Tanach in his pocket, attended a weekly Bible study group, and encouraged a small group of Ultra Orthodox Jews to be an integral part of the early settlement of the land of Israel. He and the other founders believed that it was the Torah, its observance and its faith, that kept the Jews alive since the beginning of their travails on this planet, and certainly through the Holocaust.

Has that appreciation and respect disappeared to such a degree, that we Jews must ourselves become anti-Semitic? How do we expect the international community to honor our needs for survival in this modern day of terrorism, when we are chipping away at our existence from the inside?

On that note, I propose a positive change in the halachic world of Pessach tradition, abolishing the concept of kitniot, an outdated food custom which continues to divide needlessly between Jewish ethnicities. When a Sephardic and an Ashkenazic Jews can sit at the table together over Pessach and eat sushi, we will be one step closer to unifying our own nation.

The Orthodox Organ Donor Debate

Years ago, in my senior year in college (1991), I attended a lecture by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein's son-in-law, Rabbi Moshe Tendler, on the topic of living wills, and the philosophical discussion of quality versus quantity of life. An advisor to the American President and Dean of Yeshiva University, Tendler argued that an Orthodox Jewish human being could in fact participate in the decision to disconnect from life support, that each individual could judge for him or herself regarding the potential end of their life in this incarnation. Even in making this choice, the final decision remains in G-d's hands, whether or not you continue to breathe and function once the machines are turned off.

In fact, the RCA has accepted a halachically accepted version of a living will, based upon a previous text devised by the Conservative Jewish movement.

In traditional Jewish literature, the human body as vessel to a holy Jewish soul is not meant to be desecrated in any way, which includes tattoos, smoking, self-mutilation, autopsy or organ donation. This week, Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis in Israel have adopted the policy that not only does organ donation save lives - one donor can save between four and five people - but that it is halachically permissible, and should be encouraged among the Orthodox, who currently rank very low in the organ donation registration.

This decision has in turn generated furious debate this week among the various sects of the Ultra Orthodox Israeli leadership, claiming that brain death cannot be used as a primary criteria; and that this is simply a political move to give the religious stamp of approval for a failing government policy.

Once again, the Ultra Orthodox community chooses separation and closure over integration and cooperation, choosing to see anyone outside their community as an "other." Thus allowing them to continue their disrespect of their fellow man - Jewish or Gentile - under the illusion that in order from them to be right, everyone else must be wrong, because G-d must like them better.

Perhaps we should gain more insight and inspiration from the parents living in Tekoa, a mixed community in Gush Etzion (yes, over the Green Line), whose recent choice of organ donation from their comatose baby daughter saved four lives, two of them Arab.

The Writing on the Wall

Israel experienced two earthquakes last week, and luckily - despite the shoddy quality level of constuction in many cities - no one was hurt and no property was damaged.

Some may argue that this is the Higher Power's way of sending us a message, that all is not right with our actions and with the legacy we are creating. This is not a new invention, the Torah states that if we Jews deserve to be on the land of Israel, the land and its people will be blessed, and the rain will fall at the proper time. If, however, we have overstayed our welcome, the land will literally "evict" us.

The rain, in fact, has not come, and for the past several years running, Israel faces a drought situation.

No worries with the eviction notice, our Prime Minister has already pledged to give away land, and most notably Jerusalem, even while his authority teeters on the brink of getting his ass kicked out of office, and into jail.

So why would G-d be angry?

Could it be that bombings upon the residents of Sderot worsen exponentially, and the government has attempted nothing to protect them from our enemies? We grin like the Cheshire Cat, now that a major international terrorist has been removed, but we in Israel and Jews around the world have only begun to feel the reprocussions.

Could it be the fact that the number of families living in poverty has risen significantly in the last two years, with no viable economic solution to alieve the suffering of these children? The poorest of all cities in Israel, Jerusalem is currently led by the Ultra-Orthodox anti-Zionist Mayor, Uri Lupolianski. The Mayor claims that he was "forced" to get involved and grant special political and economic favors to his Ultra Orthodox community, and yet these families do not seem to benefit from his special treatment.

Could it be the blatant evidence of corruption that surrounds Olmert and his entire coaltion; and the inability for anyone to actually be a man (or a woman) and say " I screwed up, I am taking my marbles and my giant ego home and letting someone else try." Forget for a moment the cowardice of the Labour Party, or the vascilation of the Shas party, who are waiting for "real proof" that Olmert will act against their core values. Perhaps Rav Ovadia Yosef will wait until Jerusalem becomes the capital of Bush's Palestine, and we Jews are floating in our rafts in the sea.

AB Yehoshua, an outspoken Leftist Israeli author, stated this week that he does not believe in the Two-State solution, because quite simply, Jews and Arabs do not share the same culture, language or value system. Dividing up this small country and giving over chunks to the Palestinians only gives them more area from which to launch their attacks.

How many days have the kidnapped soldiers been taken, with no word of their health or whereabouts?! It's OK, by the time they come home ( if they ever come home) we will have destroyed the land so much through pollution, pesticides and neglect, that no one will be able to breathe the air, drink the water or eat the food.

We elected these politicians who care only about their own acquistion and maintenance of power, and in a way we deserve what we get. Until we citizens choose to rise up and demand a revolution, maybe we should start packing.

But pack wisely, the raft doesn't hold much.

Divine Intervension

Oprah Winfrey endorses Barack Obama.
JFK endorses Obama, apparently from the Great Beyond.

The day before the Winograd Committee Report is meant to be published and distributed, comes the promise of snow, which will shut down all of Jerusalem.

Leaving Olmert one more day to hold onto his tenuous power position. One more day that Ehud Barak of the Labour Party can pretend that he has the balls to leave the coalition and force early Israeli elections. One more day that Shas (the Sephardic Religious party) can whore themselves for money, in return for empty and corrupt leadership. One more day that the terrorists surrounding Israel can take advantge of our weak position and threaten our citizens.

New Traditional Holidays

Since the founding of the State of Israel, there has been an effort on part of the "new" Israelis to re-define traditional Jewish holidays, more in keeping with a country trying to emulate the rest of the nations. And so I provide for you a chart of some of the major Biblical holidays, with their modern sensibilities.

Chanukah
Traditional Name: Chanukah
History: Macabees save nation from Toga party and jelly doughnuts
New Improved Name: Chag Urim (Festival of Lights)

(*This holiday sponsored by Toys R Us and all things oil.)

Christmas
Traditional Name: Chag HaMolad (The Festival of the Birth)
History: Jesus, who was in fact Jewish, is born in a manger.
New Improved Name: Chag HaMishloach (Festival of the Take-Out Food, as modern Jews around the world celebrated by going to the movies and getting Chineese take-out)

(*This holiday sponsored by the GNP and Kung Pow Chicken)

Lag B'Omer
Traditional Name: Festival of the Trees
History: Agricultural New Year
New Improved Name: Chag HaYaar
(Festival of the Forest, have to think
Green and Global these days.)

(*This holiday sponsored by Al Gore: inventor of the internet, underrated American Vice President, Oscar winner and Nobel Prize recipient. What a guy! And by Keren Kayemet, the Israeli institution that plants trees, virtual trees in the Shmita year.)

Purim
Traditional Name: Festival of the Lot
History: Kidnapped Jewish Esther and Uncle Mordechai save nation and play dress up
New Improved Name: Chag HaShicorim (Festival of the Drunkards)

(*This holiday sponsored by AA and the junk food industry.)

Rosh HaShana
Traditional: Jewish New Year
History: All creation on their knees, begging for forgiveness, in between lots of festive meals
New Improved Name: Chag HaDieta (As in after the holiday, I will go on my diet)

Yom Kippur
Traditional Name: Day of Judgement
History: Holiest day of year where all creation assumes positive results of Rosh
Hashana, and celebrates by abstaining from all things fun. Except for the streets filled with children riding bikes, and roller blading, because they know they won't get run over by a car.
New Improved Name: Chag HaOfanaim (Festival of the Bike)
Alternative Name: Festival of the Massive Video Rentals because all TV and radio stations shut down for 25 hours.

(*This holiday sponsored by therapists, who are most concerned at the pattern of binge eating and fasting in Jewish culture and tradition.)

Succot
Traditional Name: Feast of the Tabernacle
History: To thank G-d for protecting us in the deser, though not asking directions for 40 years, Jews live in windy huts
New Improved Name: Chag HaDvorim (Festival of the Bees, who swarm looking for
warm Jewish food and honey)

(*This holiday sponsored by Christmas lights, bought on sale and used in the Succah.)

Shavuot
Traditional Name: The Time of the Giving of the Torah
History: Encounter with greatness at Mt. Sinai , celebrated by pulling an all nighter, like in college
New Improved Name: Chag Motzarei Chalav (The Dairy Holiday)

(*This holiday sponsored by the Israeli Dairy farmers, who are out to punish the Lactose Intolerant.)

Pessach
Traditional Name: Festival of the Matzot
History: Starts with a four-cup wine feast, no bread for a week, and trust me, Matza is no substitute
New Improved Name: Chag Baayot HaIcool (Festival of Problematic Digestion)

(*This holiday is (a) Kosher for Passover (b) Kosher for Passover only for those who can eat Legumes (c) Kosher for Passover for those who cannot eat Legumes.)

Olmert's Shrinking Coalition

With the loss of the Yisrael Beiteinu party, led by the Russian Lieberman, over "core issues," Ehud Olmert still has 67 seats in his coaltion, and claims not to be worried. He will continue to plow through his plans for Middle East Peace, giving away half the country at bargain prices to terrorists, and fulfilling the mandate of his Lame Duck poltical Daddy, George Bush.

Isn't it time (to rephrase a quote from American Presidential candidate, Ron Paul) that America stopped giving Israel billions of dollars per year, stopped treating this very capable 60 year old country like a teenager and providing us with a conditional allowance? How much longer does Israel have to abide by, "As long as you live in my house, young man, you will do what I tell you" ? When does Israel start to protect its citizens, without asking permission from the rest of the universe?

As proof of this argument, since Bush's visit last week, and Olmert's repeated press conferences in which he has promised to help build a Palestinian state within Israeli territory, the missile attacks on Sderot have increased exponentially.

The next in line to leave Olmert's coalition could be either the Shas party, who may have to look past the whoredom for seminary funds that is their modus operndi. Or the Labour party will be forced to leave the goverment once the Winograd Committee Report is published on January 30th. Either way, Israel will G-d willing be calling early elections, and will finally unseat the slick, power-addicted Prime Minister.

Which begs the question, which person of quality and commitment could step in and do a better job?

The Next King of Jerusalem

Arcadi Gaydamak - former arms dealer, sports fan and wealthy social activist - has officially declared himself running for Mayor of Jerusalem, and has positioned members of his 'social movement' to run for various government positions in 55 other places in Israel.

Nir Bareket - millionaire, leader of the opposition on the Jerusalem Municipal Board, and social activist - has also announced his candidacy for the Mayor of Jerusalem, representing the "last chance for Jerusalem to remain pluralistic."

Bareket refers of course to the assault and domination of Jerusalem by the Ultra-Orthodox, facilitated by PM Ehud Olmert and led by the current Mayor, Lupolianski. Uri Lupolianski and his cronies regularly ask their Rabbi for political guidance, and belong to a movement within Judaism that does not recognize the validity of a secular Jewish country.

Meanwhile, Jerusalem remains one of the poorest, dirtiest and most polluted cities in all of Israel; one has to wonder where our taxes have been re-allocated, perhaps to the seminaries that encourage perfectly healthy family men not to work and not to serve in the army. Communities which in their spare time burn public property, stone Israeli citizens and police men, and host anti-Semitic Iranian Presidents.

In Jewish tradition, wealth is one of the characteristics of a "good" King for Israel, because it will prevent the leader from being bribed or swayed by the allure of the bling. Both Gaydamak and Bareket fit that bill, Barakat has subtly bought votes while Gaydamak has taken the more direct approach: paying for busloads of Sderot children to go to an amusement park for the day, buying the flailing Jerusalem soccer team, or contributing NIS One Million for a playground at a yeshiva in Or Akiva.

Let's face it, charisma helps for a politician, but money makes you The Candidate. The same is true in the American presidential elections, where a candidate is judged only partially by their popularity and positions, but mostly by their war chest.

I voted for Nir Bareket last time and hope to have that chance again. Anything to stop the Ultra-Orthodox tyranny and restore the honor of the city that is holy to all religions, and just happens to be my home.

G-d's Intentions Gone Awry

Today's English Haaretz reported the following on the financial pages: "More than 70% of Ultra-Orthodox men and about 50% of women are not employed, and most of their families live below the poverty line...since most of the men in the Ultra-Orthodox community dedicate most of their time to religious studies and do not work, the burden of making a living falls on the woman. However, many of these woman cannot find work due to a lack of professional skills and training, as well as the heavy burden of child rearing."

The Ultra-Orthodox community passes on the the cycle of poverty to the next generation, by failing to provide their sons with a secular education past the eighth grade, and by perpetuating the role of the girl as future young mother, sole provider, and martyr to the cause. Furthermore, this community isolates themselves with their refusal to serve in the army in the country in which they live and take advantage of financially.

When G-d said, "Be fruitful and multiply, " the Supreme Being did not intend this scenario: One million and a half children living below the poverty line, emotionally and physically neglected, arrogantly taught that they are morally superior, thus promoting intolerance, hatred and civil war.

I am reading a book now called "God, A Biography" written by Jack Miles. Mr. Miles - a religious man who believes that the Old Testament is divinely inspired - uses the literal text of the Tanach (Hebrew Bible) to create a profile of G-d, as the Supreme Being evolves with the evolution of man into various nations. By Miles' account, G-d starts out as the Creator of Mankind, then becomes the Terminator. He begins by giving Man blessings and complete freedom ("in his own image"), has a brief run of trying to take back some of the privileges (you can't get the toothpaste back into the tube), and in the end, is co-opted by Man for their own manipulative purposes.

This view certainly would disturb the faithful, and yet, the text supports it. G-d creates Man without an apparent plan for leadership or discipline, looses his temper frequently, impulsively over-reacting with his punishments and then immediately falling into regret and backtracking. For many cultures he becomes a theoretical stick, the Ultimate Monster in the Closet, waved at the nation as a threat, or used to advance personal power.

There must be a Higher Power in the Universe, and there must be a larger plan; if we were not handed a template, I believe that Man would have to invent the idea, to make sense of the chaos of daily life. But for anyone to use ritual and religion to encourage war, terror, division and sloth, shame on humanity. And shame on our errant Prime Minister and the Israeli government for giving into the religious parties' political blackmail.

Professor Dumbledore, Will You Please Come Out of the Closet

On behalf of Harry Potter, an orphan who has no parents to speak in his defence, I would like to report his beloved mentor, Professor Albus Dumbledore, for molestation. That's right, now that the esteemed teacher and fighter of evil has been outed, one cannot help but wonder what Harry Potter and he were really doing in all those late night study sessions. For that matter, didn't Professor Snape also spend a lot of one-on-one time with Harry in detention?

Of course, Professor Dumbledore is deceased, and lives only in the portraits on the wall, but dammit, if the various magical persons in all the paintings at Hogworts can interact in real time with students and each other, they can be jailed post mortem.

Why is it that magic must be associated with deviance of a sort? What did JK Rowling gain by declaring that Dumbledore prefers the Wizard over the Witch?

Much like the hullabaloo over the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis, literature makes statements and passes along morality on multiple levels. As a Jewish girl reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the Christian references flew way over my head, and I simply enjoyed the series as a tale about adventurous children in a parallel universe who receive the protection of a kindly magical lion. Aslan doesn't even sound like Jesus...

The television show Sesame Street began when I was one year old, and Big Bird's friend Mr. Snuffleuppagus was conceived initially as a real friend of Big Bird's, who just happened to disappear when any human adult showed up on the scene. (Much like Clark Kent and Superman, they are never around at the same time, hmmm...) In time, the show revealed the melancholy Woolly Mammoth to the remaining residents of Sesame Street; they feared that a child who had been abused or bullied would not approach adults for help, because he/she believed that adults are either stupid, or would not believe their story.

This of course did not go far enough for the liberal "gay" 90's, when speculation ran rampant regarding Bert and Ernie's sexual orientation. I would like to point out that they were roommates, sharing a one-bedroom flat in a very expensive New York real estate market, and that they slept in separate beds. Not once in my growing up and watching the show did I consider another more insidious insinuation.

In Israel, they forgo any subtlety, and the two Ernie and Bert-like puppets who appear in the ads for the Electric Company are known to be gay; one is the "female" and the other is the "male." The verbal pun on an electrical socket works better in Hebrew, but you get the idea.

Perhaps, Rowling created a gay character in the importance of Dumbledore to give courage to children reading her books, children who may have questions about their sexuality but may be afraid to announce it or discuss it with adults. In that case, make Neville gay, he emerged heroic at the end of book seven and in fact in the future, teaches at Hogwarts. Hooray for macho gay Neville and kudos to his Alma mater for have a non-discriminatory hiring policy.

This Dumbledore incident raises the same concerns for me as the Gay Pride Parade in Jerusalem. Call me a prude, but I believe that every person is entitled to his and her privacy as regards choices of intimacy. I don't need to see a heterosexual couple having sex in their car or snogging at a street corner, and the same applies for me with homosexuals, bisexuals and the magical folk. (Being politically correct, I must immediately apologize to any other active sexual group for not mentioning you, I actually don't want to watch you in the bedroom either.)

What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom, across the board.

When the gay and lesbian community feels the need to have a parade in Jerusalem, specifically after they have marched in several other cities in Israel, it tells me that they themselves are not comfortable enough in their own skin and their own status. They must be "in the face" of the rest of the presumed intolerant population, in a city that is holy to all religions. Because if there is a parade that divides the city, and starts civil and religious war, people will have to notice them.

As a Jewish woman, I also don't have a great need to attend a synagogue that is egalitarian, simply because it gives women a larger role in the Orthodox ritual. I am content with my personal relationship with G-d, and I don't need the boys' club to let me in to feel better about myself spiritually, or to prove something.

We are all so busy trying to be "tolerant" and "inclusive", that we lose our internal truths. Instead of pulling over a suspicious 25 year old Muslim male in the airport, the 86 year old woman bringing donuts to her grandchildren is stripped-searched, because the cream inside the pastry might be an explosive. International travel may not be any safer, but at lease we did not offend the Arab terrorist.

Rabbis, Reiki, Idol Worship and Wall Street

Or: "Sea Monkeys Invade New York, Possessed Wigs Attack Unsuspecting Heads"

I received today from a colleague an online article about an Ultra Orthodox Rabbi named Yitzchak Fanger, who had previously held the titles of Reiki Master and Buddhist Priest. The article describes his vision quest to India after the army - a typical journey for many non-religious Israelis - where he discovered spirituality and religion (someone else's religion), and after a series of non-coincidental miraculous events, returned to religious Judaism and Israel and to his family.

I am of course pleased for him that he has found satisfaction with his life and has reconciled with his upbringing, but have issue with his rejection of his Reiki training. He tells the story of his million dollar Reiki clinic, and how one day a group of Ultra Orthodox women wished to study with him, and insisted upon a "Certificate of Kashrut" (The Rabbi Stamp of Approval) before they could begin the class. He went to his local Rabbinic Authority, and this supposed community leader told Fanger that not only would he not issue any Certificate of Approval, but that Mr. Fanger must close his clinic immediately - the source of income for him and his entire family - because the teachings and techniques of Reiki were based in Idol Worship.

The now born-again Rabbi Fanger complied immediately, and concludes his interview by saying that he now has six children who are worth more than any of the money he made as a Reiki Master helping clients, and that his life as an Ultra Orthodox Rabbi gives him everything he needs. (Because now someone else is footing the bill...)

I performed half of my Chiropractic internship with the Ojibwe/First Nation (that's American Indians to the politically incorrect), and they told me a story about the four original peoples who were placed on this planet by a Higher Power: the White, the Yellow, the Black and the Red. Each was given a heritage of healing which specifically addressed the energies and the history of their color, so to speak, and only recently have the medicines and their techniques become mixed.

I have always operated under the credo taught to me by one of my first mentors in Chiropractic School, "more tools for the toolbox": the more I study and the more techniques I gather into my consciousness and daily routine, the more I can help each person who comes into my office. When I work on a patient, I use up to eight different systems, both Western and Eastern, thus providing a more complete and effective treatment that last longer than traditional care. I don't need a Rabbi, untrained in medicine and in the real world, to tell me what I can and cannot provide for my clients, especially since he would probably tell me to stop treating men, as they insist that it is improper for a woman to be alone with a man and touch him. Never mind that I am a doctor, a professional, and never mind that my father, also a Chiropractor, takes care of the wife of the Bostonner Rebbe, and her husband doesn't seem to have a problem with them being alone in a room for treatment.

Several years ago, a group of Rabbis in America declared that natural hair wigs - worn extensively by Ultra Orthodox women and costing up to $3000 a pop - could not be worn because some of the hair came from Indian women, who practice Idol Worship in their own religion, thus their hair was tainted and impure. All over the world, a flurry of wig burnings ensued, with families who cannot afford to feed and clothe their children burning these items of Evil, and buying synthetic wigs in their place. The Jewish wig merchants with their Certificates of Kashrut certainly did well on that venture.

Until the Rabbis recanted and decided that if anyone had not yet burned their wigs, they need not. And to fill the void and to fill certain merchant's pockets, they instead declared that the water in New York was contaminated with microscopic lobster derivative bugs, and that all proper Jews must immediately buy a high end water filter system (from a proper Jewish vendor, of course) to eliminate the dreaded impurity. Upon which Ultra Orthodox seminaries, largely supported by external donations so the men can sit and learn all day while their wives work several jobs, installed the best systems possible, and happily their Talmudic students are no longer infected by micro-organisms that only their spiritual and religious mentors can see.

To quote Alanis Morisette, "It's all about the money." (It's all about the dumb, dumb dumbe de dumb.)

Religion does indeed fill the need of controlling the masses, and the rich historical heritage of despots, cult leaders and con men can be proud of the application of their theories among the Ultra Orthodox.

With Friends Like These

The Boston Globe Columnist, James Carroll suggested in his editorial that it would be a warm and fuzzy moment for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to stand in unity - while he dances a little victory jig in his head - with Americans and international leaders at Ground Zero, and Carroll questioned the decision to forbid Ahmadinejad's visit there. "This new insult reinforces him at home...What if, instead of shunting Ahmadinejad aside as one unworthy to enter the sanctuary of our national trauma, we Americans had said, 'Yes, stand here with us.' " Carroll concludes by laying blame squarely at George Bush's feet, for turning Americans into a nation of victims and for desecrating holy ground.

Given the opportunity to speak at Columbia University, Ahmadinejad played the "Israel card," blaming this small country for all tension between his country and Israel, all tension in the Middle East and its resulting Tsunami on the rest of the planet. Apparently, he is merely misunderstood in his motives, for example, when he is accused of being a Holocaust denier; what he meant to say was that historical accounts should be questioned, that truth is only as good as the people who survive to tell the story. As Shmuel Rosner pointed out in Haaretz today, "For months, Israel worked to block what happened on the podium yesterday. For the duration of his speech, Ahmadinejad produced a televised illusion: It is not Iran versus the world, but Iran versus Israel...If he manages to convince enough people of this, the mirage would be come reality and Israel would be isolated." That is exactly what Ahmadinejad and his Arab cronies want.

Let us not neglect the Neturei Karta, a Holocaust denier Ultra Orthodox Jewish sect, who gave a warm welcome when the Iranian President arrived in New York. They also came out in active defense of the anti Semitic Ahmadinejad, saying that he is a "deeply religious man, who is committed to world peace based upon mutual respect, decency and dialogue." (AP) Right...

How is the Israeli Prime Minister responding to these outlandish and aggressive attacks on Israel and the Jews? In fact, he is not, because he is once again embroiled in the police attempt to investigate Olmert's shady real estate dealings and the corruption within his office. Other Members of Knesset have called for Olmert's immediate resignation, given the extent of the criminal charges. Surely getting caught and convicted is more important than the very existence of the State of Israel.

To complete the cliche, with friends like these, who needs enemies. They can stand by and watch us devour each other from within.

Positive Parenting

I was sitting on my porch today, when one of my cats (Sarel "Runs Like Rabbit") jumped down into the garden. A few minutes later, I saw him eating something, along with a little girl and her mother standing by and watching quietly. Assuming that not everyone understands a cat's nutritional needs, I asked the little girl what she had fed him, and she answered, "Leftover chicken." Proteins are fine for cats, though they prefer it raw and I can't vouch for the recipe her mother had used; I thanked her on behalf of my cat, who was busy scarfing down the unexpected treat.

The little girl, a confident and friendly five or six year old, seeing that I was officially owned by Sarel, explained that she had seen him touring the neighborhood, and was wondering why he didn't have a tail like other cats. I told her the story of how I found him (run over), how he had surgery and not only lived through it, but has thrived significantly since. She then said that she liked feeding cats on the street, she liked sharing their family's food. The whole time, her mother stood by, observing our conversation, and I can only assume that it was her mother who packed the bag of leftovers for her daughter to distribute.

I have witnessed other occasions, most specifically the children of the Ultra Orthodox set, shouting, throwing rocks and kicking street cats, or dogs whose owners have let them out for some fresh air. Apparently the theory states that cats and other common household pets are not "Kosher" (Edible for religious Jews) and therefore cannot be owned, and nor should they be treated with any respect as a living being. Because G-d created all beings, but those that do not stand on two legs and can understand the Torah, and are worthy of being consumed, deserve less.

When I go out to feed the street cats in my area, I often pass an older Israeli man, who thanks me for showing these animals kindness, and will bless me and say, "A person who treats animals with love has love in their heart for all beings." Those who abuse animals most probably don't treat their human counterparts much better.

I can only hope that when I have children, they turn out like this sweet, loving girl I met today, in the way that she treats both human and feline; her parents have obviously given her a proper education, and I commend them for it.

One Politician's Priorities

Let's all sign a collective sigh for our sad Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert. He wanted to take a vacation with his family in a private villa in Northern Italy, and his security team decided that it would be too dangerous for him, and that the extra security would cost Israeli taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars. To quote the newspaper Haaretz, "that's the last thing he needs right now." Here he was, doing us Israeli taxpayers a favor, by choosing not to travel and relax within his own country, because he did not want to inconvenience the standard Israeli family on vacation.

Sigh. (Tear drops fall from my eyes in sympathy for his plight.)

Last week, one of the cars in this same Prime Minister's security motorcade, ran over a ten year old girl at a cross walk. It was not the car in which the PM himself was sitting, his security entourage scurried the girl off to Hadassah Hospital, and only told the Big Man that they almost killed one of his constituents when he was safe in his home. After all, Olmert need not be bothered with the little people and the small details. The girl is currently listed as being in "Moderate Condition," which means that she may only lose a limb or two.

I am overwhelmed by the accountability our PM feels for us lowly citizens.

When Olmert started his serious political career as Mayor of Jerusalem, he spent more time outside the country than taking care of the filth issues, the poverty problems and the crime statistics in the Holy City. He has great friends in high places all over the world, because while he was being wined and dined in the international setting, he handed over the running of Jerusalem to the Ultra-Religious politicos, who then ran the city into the ground.

As Prime Minister, he continually blurts out gaffes which show the gap between his understanding of and commitment to the Israeli citizens he is meant to represent. Like the time he announced to the world that we in fact have nuclear capability, a secret every other PM in history has officially kept from our Arab neighbors. Like the time he announced, during the war last summer, that this is the best time to give away more land and evict more Jews from their homes, because the Gaza pullout worked out so well. Like the time he told a bunch of teenagers at a high school that the government was not working all that hard to return the three MIAs, because "they were probably dead already anyway."

And way to show sensitivity by telling Holocaust survivors that they would receive an extra "life changing" $20 per month, when most of them are living in poverty and ill health, with no support from their family. Imagine a group of people almost exterminated by the Nazis, being told by their Jewish Prime Minister that he 'worked really hard' and 'gave it a lot of thought' and 'pushed for their benefit,' for an extra $20 a month. Disgraceful, that same amount of money would not buy Olmert one of his illegal Cuban cigars.

The two major parties, Likud and Labour, have hand picked new party leaders with the express purpose of ousting Olmert once and for all, trouncing his Kadima party in the next election. As far as I am concerned, Olmert needs to resign now, before the full release of the Winograd Report on his inadequacies during the war, and before he can do any more damage.

PM Olmert, while you are confined to your home during your vacation, instead of mingling with celebrities and heads of state in Italy, here are some projects you can attempt to resolve, while you still have the power and position to do so. (There will be a test at the end of the week.):

1. Three missing MIAs, no visible activity to get them home, dead or alive. Whatever happened to the Israeli ethic of leaving no soldier behind?
2. Over a million and a half children below the poverty line, not to mention the spade of children dying in cars this summer, because of lack of social services and proper education. Pay attention to the next generation.
3. Jerusalem, the capital of Israel and holy to all religions, is one of the dirtiest and poorest cities in the entire country. Shame on us.
4. Almost all of your top officials and advisers have already been convicted of crimes and corruption, or are on their way to prison. How about some staff changes?
5. The probable war between Israel and Syria, are we at all ready for another attack from outside and within our borders?

Israel has also exhibited a lack of initiative in highlighting and helping to prevent anti-Semitism around the world. We are meant to be a beacon for Jews, who must be able to feel that they have a homeland, a safe haven. Only 2% of the population [with a margin of error of plus/minus 3%!] respects this current administration, hardly the confidence needed to bring Jews to Israel, and to help its citizens feel secure from the threats surrounding us.