Chiropractic Citizen At Large

What's Wrong with the Chareidim?

2009-08-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

It started most recently when the Utlra-Orthodox community in which the Munchhausen mother lives chose to attack Jewish policemen, burn garbage bins and prevent the family from receiving the help they most desperately need. To admit that this woman has a pathological psychological disorder and needs intervention would be opening their community to the outside, and admitting that just because they are religious, they are not perfect and harmonious, but rather human. Having witnessed first hand in my work as a Chiropractor the devastating effects of a mother's Munchhausen by Proxy, I can say that this family, and the entire community, needs help in understanding and treating this disease.

Because she isn't really ill, and she didn't really endanger at least two of her children, it is a vast conspiracy against the Chareidi community.

As if the initial burst of violent and pointless protest wasn't enough, they took out traffic lights in major intersections throughout Jerusalem, not only destroying public property but also making driving in the Holy City dangerous. It would almost be acceptable (NOT) if they actually worked and paid taxes that would go toward repairing the accumulated damage they have caused thus far and over the years.

Then we have the ongoing Shabbat protests against the privately owned parking lot in downtown Jerusalem. These supposedly religious and Sabbath-honoring Ultra-Orthodox Jews somehow feel that it is preferable to spend their day of rest standing in the center of town, throwing rocks at cars attempting to enter the parking lot, and getting dragged away into police cars and getting arrested rather than spending quiet quality time with their family.

Because this parking lot represents a personal affront to the Chareidi community, who feel that they "own" Jerusalem and its politicians; Mayor Nir Barakat has had to increase security for himself and his family due to death threats from this supposedly morally superior community.

Then last night's news showed footage of the favored summer activity of young boys and teenagers from the Ultra-Orthodox set, who apparently have nothing better to do in between not getting a proper education during the school year. Captured on tape, these children take pot shots and completely dismember traffic lights in their neighborhood and throughout the city.

Because destruction of public property is AOK in Israel, as the modern State of Israel has not been sanctioned by G-d or their Messiah, and is the "Treife Medina" [Hebrew = the Non-Kosher State]

I can promise you that if they lived in any other country on the planet, this behaviour would not take place, as Rabbinic literature and halacha mandates that Jews respect the law of the land in which they live. Unless of course they live in the only Jewish State...hmm.

Once these boys return to their yeshiva studies, they will learn that they are better than everyone else because they dress like 18th century Polish nobility - the same class who stole Jewish property and historically randomly massacred Jews - and that is fine to pick up a smoking habit to inhibit their natural sexual drives. The Torah states that you are forbidden to do anything to yourself or others that directly leads to physical damage or death, but I suppose that smoking doesn't count. I blame society, but I blame the parents even more, for not making better choices for their children.

The Chareidi community consistently complains that they are misunderstood and misrepresented, but how can any rational human being think otherwise? How can the Ultra-Orthodox claim that they represent G-d's and the Torah's true intent?

This heathen thinks otherwise.

Barack Obama's Double-Speak

2009-07-07T21:45:00.001-07:00

During his speech at the conference in Cairo, Inexperienced President Barack Obama stated that "all nations" (ie IRAN) have the right to develop nuclear power, as long as the resource is handled "responsibly." Because radical Islamic nations with a thirst to get rid of the Zionist and the Capitalist entities will use nuclear power for schools and hospitals, rather than to develop a far-reaching nuclear weapons program. He further implied in his statements that the United States would look the other way if these so-called responsible countries had a fit of irresponsibility, opening the door for every Arab country to attack Israel.

Several days later, Obama issued a press release clarifying that anyone who attacks Israel (in a responsible way of course...) will be attacking America. It reminded me of the microscopic corrections box hidden between the ads in the New York Times and other major news papers. No one pays attention to the accurate information, once the headline has screamed.

In a developing pattern, at the beginning of this week, Obama's representative in the Middle East stated that Israel has every right to defend itself from its enemies, and that the United States has not and will not direct our internal and foreign policy, including such time that Israel should decide to attack IRAN. What followed that day in the Israeli press were a series of faux blustering, every politician in this country claiming that Israel has never backed down from a fight because our allies told us to, that Israel has and always will defend its citizen and its borders. Both recent and past history certainly disprove that claim.

Today, after several days had passed, Obama issued a statement that the United States has neither requested from Israel nor would they approve of Israel attacking Iran for any reason. Again, who is paying attention now?

These calculated slips are dangerous, similar to the time that former/shameful PM Ehud Olmert let it "slip" that Israel has nuclear capability, at the behest of America who were trying to intimidate various upstart nuclear nations in the area. Obama may think that his soaring rhetoric and supposed charm will conquer the world and bring about peace in the Middle East, and yet his moves speak of more of inexperience and naivete, leading to disaster and chaos.

Tragic Ending

2009-05-08T01:51:00.000-07:00

Five weeks ago, my 91 year old grandfather fell into a coma, after being revived by the paramedics for a total of seven times, on the way to the hospital. My grandfather, who believed that Death would somehow forget him, had adamantly refused to sign a DNR, and as a consequence, arrived brain dead. Because my mother and her two sisters believe in the role of the halacha (sometimes over common sense), their father was immediately placed on life support and a feeding tube.

In addition to managing my father's business, my mother visits my grandfather every day, twice a day in the hospital. She tells me that it is clear hat he is unaware of his surroundings; that his physical situation remains stable only with the benefit of the various machines that have taken over the function of his brain and parasympathetic system.

This past week, in an attempt to move my grandfather into a Chronic Care Facility, the doctor removed the breathing tube in the presence of my mother and one of my aunts. According to my mother, my grandfather began gasping for breath, and while he may have expired soon afterwards, the guilt and perceived immorality of the situation overtook them. The breathing tube was returned, and it seems that my grandfather must now spend the rest of his days as a vegetable, in the highest cost situation possible. His heart is strong, and he could very well "live" this way for another five years.

In Judaism, a traditional blessing is given, "May you live to 120." Not so in this case, I know that my grandfather could not have imagined his full life culminating in this tragic never-ending end.

The family knew at some point that the home in Providence would have to be cleaned out and sold, with the death of my grandmother seven years ago and the subsequent deterioration of my grandfather's health. Now not only will the house be sold as soon as possible, regardless of the poor showing of the current housing market, but all his carefully planned stocks and retirement assets will be liquidated, to pay for this care.

It doesn't stop there. Medicaid will only pay their share when it can be shown that my grandfather has essentially become a pauper. This includes gifts he has give to his daughters and eleven grandchildren in the past five years. My parents, who themselves are struggling with a mortgage, running a business and sending my youngest brother through college, may have to sell their home and leave the community in which they have lived and actively contributed for the last 23 years, in order to pay off their portion of the gifts to be returned.

The thought sends me spinning: because my grandfather was not allowed to die a simple death, it could bankrupt my immediate and extended family. This is a case of mismanagement by both the medical establishment and the Orthodox Rabbis who did my family no favors by insisting upon extreme measures. Even worse, the same government that allows a parent to give tax free gifts has a cleverly placed back door in the program, to take it away with a vengeance.

My grandparents, founders of the Orthodox Jewish community in Providence, Rhode Island, raised their family and planned for their financial future. My grandfather, and Optometrist by training, worked until his mid-80's, until he was physically unable to get to his office.

That is the harshest irony in this whole story: A workaholic by nature, my grandfather sacrificed much in his primary role as breadwinner, concerned with providing for his family and community. He often said that if it had not been for the Shabbat, he would have worked seven days a week, and he would not have spent any time at all with his family. At the end of his life, his mind is now literally disconnected from his body, and all those years of proving his manhood as a doctor will be taken away in an instant.

We live in an age of "miracle" medicine, where life is prolonged without having the resources in place to properly care for our elderly, and by extension, the sandwich generation left with the burden, both financial and emotional.

The Argument Against Prisoner Exchange

2009-03-22T22:58:00.000-07:00

Gilad Shalit and his family are suffering. There is no question about that, and I feel for them, and I despair at the inadequacies of our current government.

To play the flip side, a point with which I equally agree and thus causes me great conflict: when a man or woman joins the army, they know that they might be captured or killed. Gilad Shalit knew this as well as anyone else.

In the last prisoner exchange, we broke through all the "red lines" and released not only terrorists with blood on their hands, but several high ranking and particularly heinous individuals. For the return of two dead bodies.

We have already upped the ante, and the Arabs know they can exploit our weaknesses.

What price Gilad? Is one man worth releasing 450 killers, who will return the favor by adding more bloodshed to the Israelis in the future? And by making a deal, does it not in fact encourage all terrorist groups to kidnap more soldiers, to bring about the release of more of their cronies legitimately jailed and held by Israel? Do we even know that Gilad Shalit remains alive?

As I have said before, I surely do not have the answers to these questions, and I do not presume to forecast the future.

1000 Days

2009-03-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended the Solidarity meeting for the kidnapped soldier Gilad Shalit, who as of yesterday, has been in captivity for a full 1000 days. I joined the journalists and Israeli citizens, some of whom had driven several hours from all over the country to support the Shalit family; three weeks ago, they moved out of their home and into the protest tent across from the Prime Minister's house in Jerusalem.

Unfortunately, the Shalit family are returning to their home this morning, as the latest rounds of negotiations for Gilad's safe return have failed, and it looks like the responsibility will fall to the incoming Netanyahu government. I never trusted Ehud Olmert to get the job done: he had three years and only made it a priority when he was literally on his way out of office, and had to save his legacy and reputation.

Before the ceremony began, a PA system played a tape in Gilad's voice, saying, "My name is Gilad, son of Noam Shalit, a prisoner of Hamas. Save me." All the more heartbreaking when you know his mother and father and brother, his friends and relatives, have been living this reality every day.

Noam Shalit put Netanyahu on notice, saying that the incoming PM would not have his 100 days of political honeymoon; that the family and the country expected Gilad back not in "one hundred days, or ten days, or even ten hours." 1000 days have already passed, with opportunities wasted.

Meir Shalev, the noted Israeli author, encouraged the government to stop protecting their own "red lines" and put Gilad Shalit first. Notably absent the entire evening: both Ehud Olmert and Bibi Netanyahu, literal neighbors of the Shalit protest tent. Shame on them, they couldn't roll out of bed to support this family and encourage the country with some leadership?

The rally ended with a group prayer more inspirational than any Yom Kippur I have ever experienced, and of course with HaTikva. By the time we got to the Israeli national anthem, the crowd could barely sing, so choked up with tears.

What price Gilad? How many terrorists can and should be released to bring him home? I don't know how to answer that question.

But G-d keep Gilad safe and bring him home, so that he does not become another Ron Arad.

My Peace Proposal

2009-03-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

Let's establish first that Peace must begin on a small scale, with changes in the attitudes of individuals and the desire of individuals to live differently and better. Let us also establish that in many cultures, but especially Judaism, food and meals are the center of human interaction among both families and friends.

Living in Israel, I observe with pain the division and animosity (which sometimes leads to physical violence) between various sectors of the Jewish population. Religious and Secular. Religious and Ultra-Orthodox. Sephardic and Ashkenazic. Sabras and Immigrants. Immigrants and Immigrants.

The upcoming major holiday of Pessach accentuates these differences, with the normal dietary restrictions overlaid with the hot subject of "Kitniot" (Legumes), a food group which Sephard Jews can eat and Ashkenaz Jews shouldn't even look at, lest they turn to stone. (I will not even start with the Gebrachts issue.)

You see it in the supermarkets, which gouge the customers as soon as they add a little sticker on an item that says "Kosher for Passover." Most items in the supermarket are "Kosher for Passover for those who are allowed to eat Kitniot." Furthermore, many would argue that I cannot even visit my Sephardi friends during the holiday, as I would be exposing myself to forbidden Ashkenazi foods.

Kitniot, like many things in Judaism, is qualified as "minhag," a custom with deep roots in history. Now that all Jews - and for that matter, all beings - are connected through globalization, and we live side-by-side in the same JEWISH country, I say we knock down the wall of Kitniot. I say we allow all Jews, religious and non-religious, to eat together and enjoy each other's company on a holiday which celebrates our common past and our families.

One small step of dining together could lead to major developments in Israel, such as the end of the Shas (Ultra-Religious Sephardic) political party; such as a basic understanding and growing tolerance for each other as people rather than ethnic groups. And most importantly, the unification of the Israeli and world-wide Jewish population, which will change the way the international community expects to treat us.

Anti-Semites can be fought more easily, and Israel would not be pushed into deals with terrorists, because our inherent right to live and live safely would be respected.

Together we are strong, and together we can decisions for the future of all our people.

The Responsibility to Vote

2009-02-08T22:19:00.000-08:00

With less than 24 hours before the voting booths open around the country, I think it is important to point out that the United States has some good lessons to teach other democracies. In the States, there are two large parties - the Democrats and the Republicans - with a smattering of small independent parties that rarely get notice. Neither of the big parties necessarily represent everything for which you stand, but there is normally a clear side or candidate that works for you.

By having two large parties, the chances of bickering are slim to none, as the majority rules in the House and in the Senate.

Israel, a so-called Parliamentary Democracy, has up to 40 parties large and small each election. The negotiating and bargaining are inevitable, and everyone loses, as the larger parites do not get enough votes to have a clear majority of 61 in the Knesset. Shas gets to exort money for its seminaries, other parties lobby for various Ministerial positions for which they are not qualified; and the country, instead of being able to start clean and fresh, gets stuck in the same old garbage.

The three to four big parties running in this election are: Likud (Central-Right), Kadima (Central-Left), Labour (running out of steam) and the dark horse Yisrael Beiteinu (the Fascist Lieberman party). Many potential Likud voters are planning on voting for Lieberman because they subscribe to his extreme right positions, and make the assumption that Netanyahu of the Likud will get enough seats to become Prime Minister.

Do the math! If all you people don't vote for Likud and instead vote for the Russian, Netanyahu will lose the ever shrinking advantage with which he started, and then we get stuck with Kadima, again. I encourage all those who lean to the right to cast their vote for Likud, so we can see real change in this country.

If I had my way, I would have four parties in the system: Central-Right, Central-Left, Far Right and Far Left. This would force natural allies to unite, and would significantly cut down on the destructive post-election bargaining.

Terrorist are like Children

2009-02-01T22:35:00.000-08:00

When disciplining children, the key is CONSISTENCY. When you say a child will receive a certain punishment if they misbehave, that consequence must appear every time there is an infraction, until they learn to associate the action with the result.

Once upon a time there was an Operation, Cast Lead, a very belated response to eight years of bombing of Israeli citizens by Hamas terrorists. Then, so that President Barack Hussein Obama's Inauguration would be headline free, Israel agreed to a ridiculous unilateral cease fire. The day Israel had cleared out from most of Azza, the bombings continued, and yet we ignored it, to keep the Americans happy.

The bombing has resumed once again, another soldier has been killed, so far in spits and spats; but as many of the Israeli leadership - across the political spectrum - have pointed out, little attacks become larger attacks, and before long we will again have to engage in a full-scale operation. The time to show our resolve is here and now, as the attacks are Hamas' way of testing us and seeing how much we will let them get away with.

Like manipulative children who need a firm hand of guidance, we must respond immediately, missile for missle, until they learn that we will no longer roll over and play dead.

Even President Shimon Peres, a man with whom I never thought I would agree on anything, said at Davos, "What other country would sit back while ten missiles [if not more] attacked its citizens on a daily basis?" Did the Turkish representative walk out because his brain kicked in and went into overload, when he realized that even Israel has a right to defend itself?

Harry, On the Mend

2009-01-03T07:49:00.000-08:00

Last week, there was a period of several hours when my cat, Harry "The Highlander", acted in a manner most uncharacteristic to his normal behaviour. It passed, and I forgot about it until this past Thursday, when he stopped eating and drinking, did not want to go outside at all and rejected T-U-N-A. Chiropractic adjustments seemed to have no effect, though it had in the past. The tuna clinched it, and I took him to the vet after there was no evidence of using the litter box, after 24 hours.

Dr. Tzvi, the vet, ran a battery of tests, took blood and gave Harry an IV drip to deal with his dehydration. Every half hour or so, Dr. Tzvi would check our the lifeless lump that used to be my very active cat, look at his blood test results, shake his head and say to me, "This is not good at all," and yet refused to elaborate. When I would ask for details or try to understand the worst case scenario - having been raised in the Jewish/Polish mother model -the vet would refuse to explain until all data came in. But I was not supposed to freak out, of course.

The short version of the story: "most probably" a parasitic infection that is causing severe anemia and break-down of his red blood cells. If I had not brought him in for a check-up, he "probably" would have died over the weekend. Then he casually mentioned cancer and FIV as alternative diagnoses, if no improvement appeared within four days.

The good news: the very same day, after receiving the IV plus anti-biotics and steroids to avoid RBC break-down, Harry started to get ornery, used the litter box and tried to eat food. Today, one day later, he is more active and asking to go outside. Which he can't, until his 21 day course of anti-biotics is completed.

When I told my mother about the stress this caused, she did not hide her true feelings; there is some part of her that fears that I am falling into the Crazy Cat Lady stereotype, and that having a cat means I will die alone and single. Her immediate response to my sadness was, "Oh well, your cat is dying. Pets die you know..." Thanks for the sympathy and support, Mom; surprising all the more so because she grew up all her life with cats as pets.

The aspect of this episode that continues to bother me concerns the clinical approach (as expert and professional as I could want) towards my feelings and fears. Never mind the fact that I am the one paying the veterinarian's bill, all 600 NIS of it, but that fact that pets (as with children) reflect the environment created by their owner and in the home. Like any other doctor, he could use some improvement in his bed-side manner towards the human in this equation.

I always mock the American pet owners who take their dog or cat to an animal shrink, when their house mate misbehaves by peeing on the carpet or destroying furniture. It is ultimately therapy for the owner, as animals cannot speak English (duh) and they simply react to the atmosphere around them.

Oh, and I think that I would subscribe to a pet care HMO in Israel, if such a thing existed.

Big Surprise for Labour (Not)

2009-01-01T06:59:00.000-08:00

A recent poll revealed that since the start of the latest Operation in Azza, Ehud Barack and his political party, Labour, has gained five seats for the upcoming Knesset elections in February 2009. Netanyahu's party, Likud, considered hawkish and therefore in line with this military action, gained two seats, and Kadima gained one seat. Olmert has at last done something to help rather than harm his colleagues.

Not a big surprise. There is nothing that generates more election (and economic) fever than a chaos and war.

Ehud Barak Unhinged

2008-12-25T02:09:00.000-08:00

First, Ehud Barak, Number One Son of the Israeli Labour party, posts these confusing ads all over the country to convince us voters that he deserves to be our next Prime Minister. The ads have a solemn expressioned Barak (mole and all) with the catch-phrase: "Not Nice. A Leader."

Huh?

Let us not forget that the last time Ehud Barak was PM, he was willing to give in to 98% of Yassir Arafat's demands, and only Arafat's stupidity saved us from that colossal mistake.

This week Barak appeared as himself on the top-rated satire show Eretz Nehederet (It's a Wonderful Country), based upon the modern political stylings of the Americans who judged their Presidential candidates not on their qualifications, but on their entertainment value as a guest on Letterman. All this while neglecting his duties to the Israeli civilians being bombed daily by Hamas.

Seems to me that Barak is running for a spot on Saturday Night Live, rather than the chief office of a country that badly needs positive leadership.

Joshua (Jesh) Leeder, Z"L

2008-12-17T21:57:00.001-08:00

After a year of neurological symptoms, my uncle was misdiagnosed by several doctors, who told him he had a "bad case of Lyme Disease." When it was too late, they realized (what I and my father, 'mere Chiropractors,' had realized long ago) that Jesh had ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease, a severe attack on the neurological pathways which mostly affects men in their 40's through early 60's, and has no cure.

One year ago, Jesh fell into a coma, and the doctors, ignoring his DNR request, put him on life support. Of course, upon consultation with the Rabbi, it was decided that even though my uncle had vehemently refused extreme measures, NOW that he was on life support, he could not be taken off, according to the halacha as they see it.

In denial, his wife (and their 13 children) decided that it was still a simple case of Tick Fever, and that if they took him home to be surrounded by his family and friends, he would wake up one morning as if this all never happened.

Two days ago, my uncle Jesh Leeder, died. And the Rabbis, who before were willing to ignore his pain and suffering and personal wishes, felt that now that the body was just a shell, he should be buried immediately, without even waiting for some members of the family to arrive for the funeral.

Jesh was a man who lived by his convictions, a modest, talented and spiritual man, and his loss will be felt by many.

The implications of his death scare me more, in a selfish human way. In the last year, my father has lost both his older sister (one year older) and now his older brother (older by two years). I am not ready to G-d Forbid sit shiva.

I am hoping that my father has inherited his father's genes, a man who lived a somewhat active life for 25 years after a severe stroke. My grandfather was a stubborn genius: a surgeon, a Rabbi and Scholar, a Sofer (ritual Jewish ancient Hebrew script), and a Shochet (ritual Jewish slaughter expert for Kosher meat). He saved Uncle Jesh's hand from amputation as a child, by essentially inventing micro-surgery and personally supervising the rehabilitation process. My grandfather also disciplined his children in ways that today would alarm social services and would be considered child abuse.

My grandfather died when he was ready, and not a minute sooner, at the age of 84.

I wish my father a long life of health, happiness and success, may he, as his father before him, live to see his great-grandchildren.

Ignorance is Not Bliss, It's Psycosis (Chiropractic)

2008-12-09T05:29:00.000-08:00

In the past three days, I have been getting hate emails from a gentleman (using the term loosely) who feels that my profession of Chiropractic is, and I quote:
"Quackery"
"There is proof on the world wide web for anything, including Chiropractic, Holocaust deniers, alien invasions and government conspiracies."
"You have no right to treat children."
"What crap, that Chiropractic strengthens the function of the body and the immunity system."

And my personal favorite;
"BTW, you are not a real doctor."

I am thinking that in a previous life, a Chiropractor ran over this man's dog. He doesn't need me, he needs a shrink, and fast, and he had better stay on his meds.

This kind of talk, especially given the vast amount of information available on the net, went out of style in the 1950's and 60's, when Chiropractic was against the law in many states in America. Today, by contrast, national and international legislation puts a Chiropractor on the same level as an MD, a Psychiatrist, and a Dentist.

Here are the facts: A Doctor of Chiropractic is a specialist in the spine and nervous system, a Doctor, if you will, of Human Performance. The spinal cord and its nerves act as the central computer for the body; when something (discs, muscles, stress, nutrition, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, and many other factors) causes interference on the flow of information from the brain to the body, your body will experience dysfunction, both emotional and physical. My job is to clear the traffic jam, so the body can behave at its highest level, and self-correct when needed.

In the case of children, in the first 7-8 years, their neurological pathways grow and change monumentally, every day. Chiropractic treatment in the early years will help avoid common problems later on, experienced now by the Couch Potato Generation, including ADD/ADHD, scoliosis, headaches and disc problem, among others.

Chiropractic, like any other profession, has its limits as well, and that is why I enjoy an excellent relationship with various medical practitioners; we inter-refer on a regular basis.

That being said, you want to avoid colds this Winter? Get your family, young and old, to a local Chiropractor. (Contact me for referrals in your area.)

Direct Elections, Jerusalem

2008-11-10T22:04:00.000-08:00

Today I get to vote in an election that has not been pre-determined by blue states and red states, the Electoral College or a rigged computer system.

Today I get to vote in direct elections for Mayor of Jerusalem, one of the poorest, dirtiest and unemployed cities in the Middle East, despite its high standing in every major religion.

Today I take my stand against Meir "G-d Likes me Best" Porush and the Ultra-Orthodox infiltration that has ruined the place in which I have lived for over eleven years.

Take advantage of democracy and your rights as a citizen; get off the couch and get to the voting booth.

Allow Nir Barakat to have a chance to improve our lives and safeguard Jerusalem.

Showing Their Cards

2008-11-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while, politicians forget to bluff and say what they actually mean, for better or for worse.

For better: three cheers to Benny Begin, who has chosen to rejoin Likud in lieu of the elections coming up in February of 2009. He is a good man with integrity - kind of the reason he did not succeed last time - but maybe his presence will inspire and help turn others around.

For worse: Meir Porush, one of the candidates for Mayor of Jerusalem, made a speech in Yiddish last night, so the rest of us goyim would not understand him. He said that his great hope "...in another decade, no secular person will be mayor of any city [in Israel], except perhaps some miserable villiage." His plan also includes making Jerusalem inhospitable to anyone but the Charedim, part of his global Ultra-Orthodox conspiracy.

Meir Porush indeed looks down upon us pagans, but as a politician running in elections less than a week away, how stupid to say it, in Yiddish or Hebrew or English or Swahili. A candidate will have reporters following him around, and many citizens of this country can translate.

When confronted by the press today, Porush did not deny his statement, but rather took up the Scooby Doo approach, "Darn, I said it in Yiddish so most of you would not understand it! If not for those pesky kids..." This is NOT a man who should win the election next week.

Porush's response begs a comparison to another unfit candidate, Barack Hussein "Non-American Citizen" Obama, who did not deny attending the dinner in honor of the Palestinian terrorist; espressing regret only because he got caught on tape doing so.

A good leader takes responsibility, and neither Porush nor Obama fit the bill. Nir Barakat does.

The Day Democracy Died

2008-10-19T03:04:00.000-07:00

This morning, while standing in line at the post office, I reduced an American woman to tears, and destroyed her faith in the democratic option of Absentee voting.

She had come to the post office in a panic, afraid that if she mailed her Absentee ballot today, it would not arrive in time for the American Presidential elections on November 4th. She had just spoken to the teller and decided to mail her ballot Express, in the vain hope - and considering how the current set of Jewish holidays slows down all the mail - that it would reach its destination within a week.

I politely tapped her on the shoulder and gave her a brief but succinct lesson in political science (may major in college); I spoke about the blue states and the red states, about the fact that Absentee ballots can arrive within a week after the election takes place officially, about the fact that these votes are only counted when the results are too close to call. I didn't even get into a discussion of the Electoral Colllege. I further pointed out that the both of us being absentee voters in Massachusetts, we could vote for G-d himself on the ballot and Barack Obama would still take the state.

She stamped her feet, shook her head violently, and tears welled up in her eyes. She started shouting idealistic statements like, "but I filled out all the boxes," and "you don't know what you are talking about," and "my vote counts, I know it does!" She called me a liar and refused to accept that all I was trying to do was save her some postage, as I stood there holding in my incredulous laughter.

This woman did indeed mail her ballot first class, Express mail, and firmly believes that her vote will make the difference in the American Presidential elections.

She also firmly maintains that I am mean and stupid and am the Judas of Democracy and all that is good in the world. Whatever helps her get through the day, though I personally hope that the results of the elections for Mayor of Jerusalem on November 11 have a better result than the American elections, with Nir Barkat coming out on top.

The Wall Street Progrom

2008-10-03T03:02:00.000-07:00

(Thoughts for a Friday)

I am not sure why anyone is surprised at the huge outburst of anti-Semitic remarks across the world in the wake of the collapse of Wall Street, and its influence on world markets.

After all, anyone with half a brain who lives in the Midwest (or anywhere in Europe) and has married their first cousin knows that the Wall Street crisis has nothing to do with George Bush, or the natural cycle of the economy. Everyone knows that the Jews control the entire supply of money in the world - hell, in the Universe - in addition to controlling the government, Hollywood and the garbage pickup on every day except Thursday.

For sure, 9/11 is the Jews' fault, because we had the gall to work in some buildings in Manhattan, and the Arabs were just doing their job by trying to kill us.

And that Jewish man or woman with whom you had an affair, that person who supposedly ruined your marriage? It must be the Jews' fault, because we are so darned good looking. (Look at what Monica Lewinsky did to the Clinton administration, as an example.)

My final observation, as long as we are talking about the irrational and dangerous; the campaign posters for Meir Porush, in his Mayoral bid, show him as a smiley Santa-like cartoon character, with the tag line, "Jerusalem will love Meir Porush," like we don't have a choice in the matter. Well, Jerusalem voters, we do have a choice, in fact an imperative to end the Ultra-Orthodox stranglehold on our city. Porush is not a cartoon unfortunately, but a real person with extremist ideals and lacking the support of his own people. (It doesn't really mater, because the Chareidi community does the mitzva of allowing the dead to vote.)

Jerusalem has suffered for too long, and I believe that Nir Barakat is the candidate to return the honor of one of the most treasured cities on the planet and throughout history.

Sarah Palin's "Secret" Pregnancy

2008-09-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin hid her pregnancy until the seventh month because she did not want it to interfere with the business of being Governor. She gave a speech about Alaska oil drilling as her amniotic fluid was leaking out. She gave birth one month early, to a Special Needs child, and returned to work three days later.

Now the ambitious career woman/supposed hockey-mom is toting around young Trig (Have you read the names of her children? There ought to be a law against that...) to show what a fabulous parent she is, and using his Downs Syndrome as proof to all those who may have doubted her sincere and religious conviction against abortion.

Her fans call her a "tough lady" and a "great mom."

I disagree and find it somewhat despicable that the woman who chose to have her husband raise their children - when he is not racing across Alaska in a dog sled -is now using her family as a political ploy. No wonder her supposedly abstaining teenage daugther Bristol (Did you catch that name? There ought to be a law...) got pregnant, there are no parents in the house to truly guide her.

History in the Making, or Huge Blunder

2008-08-31T06:35:00.000-07:00

With the announcement by the McCain campaign of his choice of Vice-Presidential candidate, there are a whole new set of considerations for someone like me, a blue-blooded Democrat who does not want to vote for Barack Obama.

I have analyzed several factors regarding the choice of Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, interspersed with hilarious quotes from an op-ed piece by David Brooks.

1. She is woman: Very smart, given the 18 million disaffected female voters on the Democrat side, who did not get Hillary Clinton the nomination.

DB "Hillary Clinton's ringing endorsement of 'the weak-looking thin guy who's bound to lose.'"

2. She is extremely Pro-Life: This troubles me, in huge way. Just because she is a religious Soccer Mom, head of the PTA and mother of a child with Downs Syndrome whom she refused to abort, does that mean that I lose my right of choice? I treasure the division between Church and State, even if it is in name only.

3. She comes from of all places, Alaska, and both she and her husband are "real people": Excellent, given that Barack Obama has been critisized for not being in touch with the average American, black or white.

DB "We got to know Barack and Michelle Obama, two tall, thin, rich, beautiful people who don't prespire, but who nonetheless feel compassion for their squatter, and smellier fellow citizens."

4. She lacks experience: Actually fantastic, because if any Democrat dares to address this point, it bounces right back and them and hurts Obama in a big way. In fact the amount she has accomplished in such a short time, given the structure of her life, is quite impressive. If you want something done right, give it to a woman who is already busy.

DB "Barak Obama loves the future, because that's where all his accomplishments will be."
"We heard about his time as a community organizer, the three most fulfilling months of his life."

5. Her son will be serving in Iraq: Both positive and negative, given that she cannot be faulted for not contributing to the cause of a (lost) war, she might even work to end the war faster, to bring her son home. On the other hand, it means she supports the war which Bush blundered, and I just want our soldiers out of there; let the locals fight it out amongst themselves.

6. She actively supports using American oil resources (in Alaska): Not great for the environment, but a clever move given that Obama has spoken about the same idea. More cross-over from the Democrat faithful.

7. The perpetual question, is it good or bad for the Jews? The Republican Jewish Coalition Executive Director, Matt Brooks, says that Palin has "enjoyed a strong working relationship with Alaska's Jewish community."

It seems in this election that actually the VP will be the determining factor; if McCain dies in office, do you want Sarah Palin in there, after all, he is 72 years old. If Obama falters, he has a VP with slightly more experience, though not always for the benefit of his consituents and the American people.

DB "We heard from Joe Biden, whose 643 years in the Senate make him uniquely qualified to pander to the middle class... and who is himself a verbal train wreck waiting to happen."

Youth counts here, Barak and Palin's youth, McCain and Biden's age.

Either way, history will be made with a black President, or the first woman Vice-President.

Winners and Losers, the Israeli Perspective

2008-08-12T04:44:00.000-07:00

The outgoing oft-investigated Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has come up with a land return and exchange deal, which would involve 93% of the West bank, among other discussions of borders and prisoner exchanges. According to the delusional Olmert, he feels "there is time to reach an agreement during his remaining time in office."

Hmm...the most corrupt Prime Minister in modern Israeli history, who does not even have the support of his own party infra-structure, thinks that he can negotiate a major land deal. Right now, I don't think he can even negotiate himself out of "early retirement" into a comfortable prison cell.

And yet the Israeli optimism persists, in the form of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. When an Israeli athlete fails to make the semi-finals, the news proclaims, "Israeli swimmers set new personal records." Not to belittle the accomplishments of the delegation thus far, but it is awfully convenient to ignore the real lack of progress if it does not suit your mood, and damn the consequences in the long run.

Not to be outdone, the sports pages in Haaretz happily reported today that "Two Jews and a Black Man help Phelps Fulfill Dream." If we cannot claim our own victories, we will latch onto the American team, a tactic which has not served us well in politics, in the last seven or so years that Bush has been President.

An Eye for an Eye

2008-07-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

One year ago, PM Ehud Olmert told a group of high school kids that the kidnapped soldiers, Regev and Goldwasser, were "probably dead." A posting on an Arab website described the poor condition of the two soldiers at the time of the kidnapping, the Arab witness claimed that at the time - two years ago - neither could walk without assistance, that they were bloody and beaten and would probably not survive the night.

Don't tell me that the government was surprised when they traded a very much alive Samir Kuntar, along with four other terrorists with blood on their hands, and 199 dead bodies, that they expected to get back two live Israeli captive soldiers.

I am relieved for these two heroes that they can be given a proper burial by their family, in their homeland.

I am afraid and sad that Gilad Shalit will become the next Ron Arad.

I anticipate that every terrorist group now knows that we will Israelis will sacrifice beyond the normal and rational, and that the kidnapping of Israelis and Jews will start all over the world, with no consideration on their part for the value of human life. All you need to do is observe the Prince's homecoming Kuntar and the other's received, to understand that our Arab neighbors are active and complicit in the goal of the destruction of Israel.

I think that we should have done an even trade, two dead bodies for two dead bodies. I would not have cried if one of those bodies had been Samir Kuntar.

Here's another scenario: Samir Kuntar get released as part of the original deal, and then gets re-arrested and thrown into a scorpion pit for the rest of life for announcing that as soon as he gets out of Israeli borders, he will be gearing up for the next set of Nassrallah-approved terrorist attacks against Israel, within Israeli territory.

When a vile terrorist, who has already killed women and children, makes that kind of statement on international television, he is asking for it.

Human Whack-A-Mole

2008-07-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

This morning, in the women's dressing room at the pool, I overheard a conversation between two Anglo-Saxon women, both teachers. One woman said to the other, that she was disconcerted because her students always did their homework, and that some even asked for extra work during the summer vacation. These teenagers apparently did not talk back, and did not attack her physically. This woman closed the thought by saying that maybe she ought to return to her former school, where she felt uncomfortable and threatened, so she would feel more "challenged" and less "bored."

It is an accepted expectation that Israeli school children of all ages will be at the very least unmotivated and at the worst, violent.

After my swim, and before starting my Chiropractic day, I sat outside in a lounge chair, trying to soak up some Vitamin D. During the summer the pool is packed with day camps, and as far as I am concerned, they accept too many children and have too little supervision.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a five-year old boy was raising and lowering a rod-shaped swimming flotation device, whipping the area below him. It took me a second look to realize that he was not hitting the sidewalk, but rather two other boys, who lay on the ground cowering as they got hit in the head, over and over again.

I waited for the counsellor to break up the fight, I waited for the life guards to intervene, and no adult who witnessed the event stepped in. Finally, after three minutes - and violating my own rules -I walked over and grabbed the float away from the boy, and said in a firm voice (in Hebrew), "No. This is not acceptable play."

It disturbs me that the other responsible adults left it to a stranger to protect these young children from one of their peers. It disturbs me that a five-year old boy wore a sadistic smile on his face as he abused his friends, even as I took his weapon away. It disturbs me that the other children seemed to enjoy the bullying.

There is a fine line between the attitude of "boys will be boys" and "enough is enough." I believe that bullies become abusive teenagers and adults simply because the adults in their life do not set proper limits.

This can be applied equally to children in Israeli society, as well as to our Arab neighbors and enemies. The reason they continue to blow us up, kidnap us and bomb us, is because we Israelis and particularly our criminal PM Ehud Olmert does not reasonably strike back when attacked. We do not set limits and assert the right to defend ourselves. The more they terrorize us, the more we try to placate them, showing them that there are no consequences to their bad behaviour.

We had better learn this Zero-Tolerance lesson soon, before our children - no matter how well behaved - do not have a place to call home.

Learn from the Animals

2008-06-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

YouTube- Dog, Cat and Rat

Perhaps peace is possible...happy Yom Yerushalaim!

Hopalong Harry

2008-05-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

Some time when I was at Pessach seder (19/4/08), Harry managed to fracture his shoulder. The doctors cannot figure out why almost a month later, Harry is still limping around, refusing to use his right front arm/leg.

I know why. My eldest feline Harry has become what is known in medical terms as a "Malingerer", a faker vying for sympathy and attention. I have observed the following behaviours: when I am with him and clearly watching him, he gets a sad expression in his eyes and limps along, hoppity hop. When he does not know that I am watching him, he uses all four legs, and has only a mild limp, which I notice because I am a Chiropractor.

The fracture was small, and I believe that by next week I will feel confident enough to allow him to go outside again, which thankfully will relieve me of litter box duty.

My brother laughs at this story, saying that it has nothing to do with feline or human, except for the fact that Harry is a man, and knows how to work the woman in his life.

Olmert's Arrogance

2008-05-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

"I will resign from the post of Prime Minister if they manage to indict me on THIS [emphasis added] charge of accepting bribes and violating campaign law."

Which somehow implies that Olmert would never consider resigning with five other previous criminal investigations open against him.

Which somehow implies that he has no thought or consideration for the good name and honor of the country he represents, nor for his own reputation.

Which somehow implies that he has no itention of getting indicted on this or any of the other charges pending against him.

Olmert is already pointing the finger at two of his aides, saying that they were the ones who handled the money, and that if the money somehow ended up in his personal pocket, he was not an active conspirator. Once again, Olmert's staff will fall on his ever bloody sword, with the bizarre sense of loyalty that I would prefer to call political S and M.

He also had no problem speaking on Yom HaZikaron, comforting the families who have lost sons and daughters in battle, when his own children fled the country rather than serve in the army. With three of our most recent MIAs still not returned home, dead or alive, Olmert could look these families in the face with no shame, and play at being popular.

When George Bush visits this week, Olmert plans on plowing through public opinion and his low approval rating in order to give away more land to terrorists who will only use our weakness to their advantage.

How sad for Olmert that he does not have the balls to leave already, and how sad for us that Israelis have such a disheveled and dis-honorable state of leadership.

To end with a quote from Uzi Benziman, in his op-ed piece in Haaretz today entitled, He Cannot Continue:

"This judgment relates to his practical ability to continue as prime minister, ignoring for the purposes of this discussion the moral dimension of his behaviour...Olmert has the right to a fair trial. But the prime minister must realize that he has lost his ability to continue leading the State."

When the Siren Went Off

2008-05-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up before my alarm clock, checked on Harry, my cat with the broken shoulder, and then checked my email. Went to the post office to pay some taxes, and then to the pool to swim.

When the two minute siren went off for Yom HaShoah, I was standing in the shower, dripping wet with shampoo still in my hair, after my swim. Two minutes is a long time, it gives you enough time to really get inside yourself and realize how lucky you are; lucky that your family did not have too many murdered relatives in World War II, lucky that there is a State of Israel, and extremely happy to be living in that State of the Jews in 2008, a country which de facto protects all Jews all over the globe.

I could barely hear the siren over the loud hum of the fan.

I remember several years ago, I was standing on line at the bank when the siren sounded. Most of us stood at solemn attention, and one woman continued to talk on her cellphone, oblivious and totally disrespectful to the time dedicated to the Jews who died in the Holocaust. At first, all of us gave her dirty looks, to no avail. Finally we all started yelling at her, "What, don't you have any respect for those who died? Can't this conversation wait two minutes?"

She took offense - though thankfully shut off her phone - and as soon as the two minutes of silence ended, she called her friend right back, and proceeded to tell her friend how rude we had been, cutting off her conversation.

Life goes on, but isn't that the point?

I spent two minutes remembering the victims of the Shoah, and then returned to the shower, and went to work. We are a normal people living in a normal State on the Planet Earth, and while we have suffered terribly throughout history, and continue to suffer under the constant threats of terrorism within our borders, we are here.

We are here to stay.

Get Naked Against Chametz

2008-04-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

With only a sock to protect his private parts, a 27 year old seminary student stripped down in a supermarket in Bat Yam that was selling chametz (leavened bread) over Pessach. Protesting the government's decision to allow the sale of chametz in restaurants and supermarkets - areas deemed not public by the new law - this student reasoned if this particular market was private according to the law, he could romp around in his birthday suit.

Despite his failed methodology, I applaud this student for taking a stand on an issue much deeper than the availability of hamburger rolls: the very identity of the Jewish people in a Jewish state. In fact, the same argument can be applied to the sale of pork products. The Jewish State was founded by and for Jews by Ben Gurion and his cohorts, on the basis of Jewish history and halachic law, and so how can chametz be sold publicly on Pessach, or how can a law be passed to subsidize pig farmers?

Let's face it, if someone is desperate enough to have some toast this week with their morning coffee, they will find it; and if someone must have bacon with their scrambled eggs, they will find it as well, and they will pay premium price for it. Once the Torah becomes a bargaining chip or merely a symbolic cultural heritage, all is lost in terms of the Jewish identity of the State of Israel.

Zionist history will note that Ben Gurion - a self-proclaimed secular Jew - always carried a Tanach in his pocket, attended a weekly Bible study group, and encouraged a small group of Ultra Orthodox Jews to be an integral part of the early settlement of the land of Israel. He and the other founders believed that it was the Torah, its observance and its faith, that kept the Jews alive since the beginning of their travails on this planet, and certainly through the Holocaust.

Has that appreciation and respect disappeared to such a degree, that we Jews must ourselves become anti-Semitic? How do we expect the international community to honor our needs for survival in this modern day of terrorism, when we are chipping away at our existence from the inside?

On that note, I propose a positive change in the halachic world of Pessach tradition, abolishing the concept of kitniot, an outdated food custom which continues to divide needlessly between Jewish ethnicities. When a Sephardic and an Ashkenazic Jews can sit at the table together over Pessach and eat sushi, we will be one step closer to unifying our own nation.

Just a Drill

2008-04-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen: that siren you are hearing for a minute and a half this morning is a just a drill. If this were a real war, you would be in big trouble...

The Syrians are claiming that Israel is using the Home Front's test throughout the country to stage an attack on its Arab neighbors. Clever idea, too bad we didn't think of it. I don't know about every other Israeli in the country, but when the siren went off, I had just left the post office in Jerusalem, having mailed in my 2007 US taxes, and did not stop driving; nor did I seek out a man or woman in uniform and ask them what I should have done if this had been a real attack by one of our many enemies in our many unofficial wars.

Since I was almost killed by a Palestinian sniper in 2001, I have taken a realistic, fatalistic view toward death. While I will not wander in traffic on the highway, I will also not obsess about my remaining time on this planet, because only the Higher Power knows when it will be my time to check out of Hotel Earth. I have, however, shifted my way of thinking and planning, living more in the moment and worrying less about where I will be ten years from now.

I wonder what the former President of Israel, Moshe Katzav, was thinking when the siren sounded this morning, and when he canceled his plea bargain this afternoon, in order to defend his innocence. A shame that Katzav is getting prosecuted for something he didn't do, when PM Olmert and his cronies seem to get away with all the crooked deals and crimes they did in fact commit.

Give an Inch...

2008-03-31T22:13:00.000-07:00

Israel's good friend, George Bush, has sent over various members of his administration to bully us to accept the agreements of Peace and co-existence with the Palestinians, taking no heed to the evidence, and to basic human rights.

This week, Israel agreed to shut down many of its security checkpoints, which the Palestinians claimed violated their freedom of movement. Yesterday, only hours after the army started removing one of those 'offensive' road blocks, a terrorist from Hebron tried to murder two Jews at the Shiloh Junction. The 30 year old Israeli defended the 15 year old teen and himself and shot the student from Bir Zeit University dead.

Meanwhile, The New York Times reported today that international monitors have noted the exponential escalation of anti-Jewish and anti-Israeli rhetoric in mosques all over the planet.

Peace, like any other human relationship, will only succeed if both sides are equally committed to the process and the decision to put aside old grudges. Instead, Ehud Olmert and the Israeli leadership continues to weaken the country politically, because the more we give into the Palestinian demands, the more they will take and the more they will feel free to attack us within our borders.

America would never cease their security regulations, because potential terrorists complained about the un-fairness, can you image the following scenario?

Terrorist: "It hurts our feelings when you profile dark-skinned males of Arab origin between the age of 18 and 40."
Bush: "Gosh golly, you're right. You can have free run of our country, and we will help you smuggle in explosives and weapons, so you can terrorize our citizens."

American, European and Israeli leadership must accept the reality that any agreement made by Israel will be one-sided at best; with the low level of approval for the current Knesset it is doubtful if even half of the Israeli population agrees in theory with the choices being made for us.

And American and European politicians must stop thinking of Israel as a step-child who needs supervision and direction. No one can possibly understand the day-to-day reality of this country until they have lived it, and feared daily for their physical existence.

The Orthodox Organ Donor Debate

2008-03-26T22:46:00.001-07:00

Years ago, in my senior year in college (1991), I attended a lecture by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein's son-in-law, Rabbi Moshe Tendler, on the topic of living wills, and the philosophical discussion of quality versus quantity of life. An advisor to the American President and Dean of Yeshiva University, Tendler argued that an Orthodox Jewish human being could in fact participate in the decision to disconnect from life support, that each individual could judge for him or herself regarding the potential end of their life in this incarnation. Even in making this choice, the final decision remains in G-d's hands, whether or not you continue to breathe and function once the machines are turned off.

In fact, the RCA has accepted a halachically accepted version of a living will, based upon a previous text devised by the Conservative Jewish movement.

In traditional Jewish literature, the human body as vessel to a holy Jewish soul is not meant to be desecrated in any way, which includes tattoos, smoking, self-mutilation, autopsy or organ donation. This week, Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis in Israel have adopted the policy that not only does organ donation save lives - one donor can save between four and five people - but that it is halachically permissible, and should be encouraged among the Orthodox, who currently rank very low in the organ donation registration.

This decision has in turn generated furious debate this week among the various sects of the Ultra Orthodox Israeli leadership, claiming that brain death cannot be used as a primary criteria; and that this is simply a political move to give the religious stamp of approval for a failing government policy.

Once again, the Ultra Orthodox community chooses separation and closure over integration and cooperation, choosing to see anyone outside their community as an "other." Thus allowing them to continue their disrespect of their fellow man - Jewish or Gentile - under the illusion that in order from them to be right, everyone else must be wrong, because G-d must like them better.

Perhaps we should gain more insight and inspiration from the parents living in Tekoa, a mixed community in Gush Etzion (yes, over the Green Line), whose recent choice of organ donation from their comatose baby daughter saved four lives, two of them Arab.

Funeral Groupies

2008-03-12T00:12:00.001-07:00

Every time a soldier dies in this country, the news will announce the time and location of his funeral, and thousands of people will attend, most of whom do not even know the family or the one who was killed. It is part of the "One Big Family" syndrome in Israel, and it is the anonymous person's chance to try to help, just by being there.

Last night I paid a shiva call to the Moses family in Efrat, whose 16 year old son Avraham Dovid was murdered last Thursday night in his school, along with seven other innocent boys. Not that one expects a shiva to be fun or entertaining, but there was a wierd energy in the room. Naftali Moses (the father of the boy) balanced his attention between those who had come to keep him company and offer comfort, and his children. His 11 year old son sat next to him, and I believe that he will suffer the most when he fully registers the impact of the death of his brother, who was closest to him in age. As Leah Moses, the stepmother of Avraham Dovid said, "they were each other's rocks."

Another daughter, desperate for her father's attention, started pulling her shirt up and crawling onto Naftali's lap; some woman had the gaul to try to pull the child away, thinking it was the "right thing" to do. The youngest daughter, a social talkative four year old, was very busy planning a sleep over, and canvassed the room to see if she had chosen the appropriate pajamas.

For the most part, the room was quiet, and then an older Israeli woman started chatting away, saying that she did not know the Moses family at all, but that she had an uncle who died recently at the age of 92, and was buried nearby on Kibbutz Lavi. She further explained that she was at this shiva house to show her support for those who live in the Gush and suffer from terrorist attacks.

Later that evening, I saw this same woman gazing adoringly at the photo of Avraham Dovid Moses, and stroking the image, as if it were her own child.

Who is to say what is and is not apporpriate at times like these? I give this woman the benefit of the doubt, and bless her for the kindness she showed this family.

I was at the pool the Friday right after the terror attack, and standing practically naked in the locker room, a Russian woman (also in a towel and not much else) just started shouting. In anger, in grief, to anyone who would listen and respond. She expressed her sadness at the death of these eight boys, her rage at the governement that cannot seem to protect its citizens, and continues to push through the idea of peace and cooperation with those who would murder us, citizen by citizen. This particular Russian woman felt that the best and only solution was for the Israeli government to give out free guns to any Israeli citizen - as opposed to the Israeli Arab citizen who walked into the yeshiva and shot more than 600 rounds of bullets - so that we may protect ourselves in the future.

Who is to say what is and is not appropriate at times like these? But thank G-d for the solider who killed the terrorist, before he could do even more harm.

Shopping for Sderot

2008-02-28T21:55:00.001-08:00

In the past few days, heavy bombing has increased not only over Sderot but also over Ashkelon. The army and the government say that this time they will "really" react, but so far nothing, except that public bomb shelters have been reopened.

Meanwhile, a new tradition has begun to support the stores and business owners in the area. People from all over the country are driving to Sderot to do their weekly grocery shopping, or to buy other items which apparently are cheaper than can be found in larger cities like Jerusalem or Tel Aviv.

I applaud the people of this country for supporting their brothers and sisters in business, but insist that we must take it at least several steps further. We must hold our leadership accountable and if they cannot find a solution to at least have quiet, if not a true peace, then someone else must be given the chance to succeed where they have obviously failed.

Maybe the next time George Bush or Dick Cheney visit our little country, they will actually visit Sderot, instead of taking a vacation at the taxpayers' expense, and ruining our economy.

Chiropractic is Not for Everyone

2008-02-25T01:54:00.001-08:00

This morning I bumped into an old college friend, who told me that she had tried a Chiropractor in Tel Aviv, and that he had "ruined" her back and made her weak, and that the only solution has been dancing. Dance and self-care have brought her back to health, and she has nothing but contempt for my profession.

I explained to her that every Chiropractor, even those who studied in the same class and in the same school, brings their personality to the treatment and the approach to care. A particular method of a particular professional may not have worked for her, and I am sorry for her negative experience, but she cannot use this one incident to judge all of us.

Consider this:

Over 200,000 people die in hospitals each year, because of medical negligence and error.
Drug side-effects often make a condition worse, in an average of 1 in 500 cases.

Chiropractic can cause "damage" (muscle tension, pain) in 1 in 8,000,000 cases.
Those are pretty good odds, and it's all natural.

The Monopoly Conspiracy, Update

2008-02-20T22:16:00.000-08:00

The removal of Israel as a country from the Monopoly site must have aroused an uproar, because one day later, none of the 68 cities on the finalist list are identified with their respective entities.

For now, the political field has been evened, at least in the world of board games.

The Monopoly Conspiracy

2008-02-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

Most of the civilized world has heard that Monopoly is constructing a Global game board, and their site (http://www.monopoly.com/) features a voting poll for various prominent and not-so-major cities around the world.

Happily, Jerusalem is one of the contenders and currently sits in fourth place, almost bringing it to Boardwalk status.

When I first entered the site, Jerusalem was listed as "Jerusalem, Israel," and I (as well as others I know) rejoiced in the fact that Israel was acknowledged as a country, and as the sovereign nation with Jerusalem as its capitol. Then today, when I logged on to continue voting and push Jerusalem (and New York City) up the charts, lo and behold, Jerusalem is now the only listed city out of 68 without a country. Like we are the Vatican or something, a floating island blessed by G-d in a sea of legitimate countries.

NB: Vatican City is not under consideration by Hasbro at the moment.

I can imagine that Hasbro, in its cowardice, fell prey to the pressure of the Arab countries and the general anti-Israel lobby. Allow me to point out a seemingly forgotten fact of history in the Middle East: most of the wars that Israel has fought and won were initiated by our Arab neighbors, and ignored by our civilized Western counterparts. Except for the more recent wars (Lebanon One and Two, the Intifada), Israel has come back against extreme odds and won the day, giving us victor's rights. Since when do the losers get to call a "do-over"?

Moreover, in 1948, the so-called Palestinian refugees fled their towns and abandoned their houses at the order of their Arab brothers, and not because the Jews pushed them out.

All of a sudden, Jerusalem does not belong to Israel, and we Israelis apparently do not have the right to defend ourselves and our land, land that was acquired by the blood of our soldiers and innocent citizens since the early 1900's. We Jews are being pushed off our land by our own government, eager to please our civilized Western counterparts who do not understand, nor have a real stake in our success or failure, as long as the oil keeps flowing.

Once Israel goes, no Jew in any "civilized country" around the globe will be safe.

I have not once in this blog entry mentioned the Biblical claim to the Land of Israel, because I am trying to appeal to all who have a potentially rational brain sitting inside their cranium: shut off the television, stop listening for a moment to your spiritual leaders or your ignorant next door neighbor. Step away from the American flag in which you wrap yourselves, thinking that it will protect you from another 9/11.

Would you ever sit idly by while your own government, or a random lame-duck political leader from another country far away tells you to allow yourself to be bombed and terrorized on a regular basis, tells you to give up your home and put your family in jeopardy because they say so?

Would you not take a stand when multiple Muslim and Christian leaders around the world preach their version of jihad, the end of your existence as a modern nation and as a people?

Take a stand right now, and put an end to the ridiculous double and triple standard being applied to Israel. Because after they come after us, you are ripe for the picking. In the eyes of today's terrorists, a heathen is a heathen is a heathen, and you are next.

The Writing on the Wall

2008-02-16T22:03:00.000-08:00

Israel experienced two earthquakes last week, and luckily - despite the shoddy quality level of constuction in many cities - no one was hurt and no property was damaged.

Some may argue that this is the Higher Power's way of sending us a message, that all is not right with our actions and with the legacy we are creating. This is not a new invention, the Torah states that if we Jews deserve to be on the land of Israel, the land and its people will be blessed, and the rain will fall at the proper time. If, however, we have overstayed our welcome, the land will literally "evict" us.

The rain, in fact, has not come, and for the past several years running, Israel faces a drought situation.

No worries with the eviction notice, our Prime Minister has already pledged to give away land, and most notably Jerusalem, even while his authority teeters on the brink of getting his ass kicked out of office, and into jail.

So why would G-d be angry?

Could it be that bombings upon the residents of Sderot worsen exponentially, and the government has attempted nothing to protect them from our enemies? We grin like the Cheshire Cat, now that a major international terrorist has been removed, but we in Israel and Jews around the world have only begun to feel the reprocussions.

Could it be the fact that the number of families living in poverty has risen significantly in the last two years, with no viable economic solution to alieve the suffering of these children? The poorest of all cities in Israel, Jerusalem is currently led by the Ultra-Orthodox anti-Zionist Mayor, Uri Lupolianski. The Mayor claims that he was "forced" to get involved and grant special political and economic favors to his Ultra Orthodox community, and yet these families do not seem to benefit from his special treatment.

Could it be the blatant evidence of corruption that surrounds Olmert and his entire coaltion; and the inability for anyone to actually be a man (or a woman) and say " I screwed up, I am taking my marbles and my giant ego home and letting someone else try." Forget for a moment the cowardice of the Labour Party, or the vascilation of the Shas party, who are waiting for "real proof" that Olmert will act against their core values. Perhaps Rav Ovadia Yosef will wait until Jerusalem becomes the capital of Bush's Palestine, and we Jews are floating in our rafts in the sea.

AB Yehoshua, an outspoken Leftist Israeli author, stated this week that he does not believe in the Two-State solution, because quite simply, Jews and Arabs do not share the same culture, language or value system. Dividing up this small country and giving over chunks to the Palestinians only gives them more area from which to launch their attacks.

How many days have the kidnapped soldiers been taken, with no word of their health or whereabouts?! It's OK, by the time they come home ( if they ever come home) we will have destroyed the land so much through pollution, pesticides and neglect, that no one will be able to breathe the air, drink the water or eat the food.

We elected these politicians who care only about their own acquistion and maintenance of power, and in a way we deserve what we get. Until we citizens choose to rise up and demand a revolution, maybe we should start packing.

But pack wisely, the raft doesn't hold much.

The Spring Roll Strike

2008-02-12T21:53:00.000-08:00

Israel's Asian restaurants refused to serve spring rolls yesterday, to protest the government's plans to sabotage the employment of foreign chefs. "Today there is no egg roll, and in two weeks there will be no sushi and noodles." Considered part of the "foreign worker" problem, Asian cooks will be purged from theme restaurants, unless of course you are willing to pay twice the average national salary to keep them on.

The Israeli argument states that non-Asians can be trained to achieve the same high quality results. This initiative comes at a time when speciality restaurants are opening fast and furious all over the country, and when the slide of the dollar allows people to splurge more often on luxuries, like a sushi dinner.

The argument falls apart when you consider the essential laziness and elitism of the modern Israel. The same time that Israelis complain about unemployment, they refuse to fill jobs such as elderly care-takers, a market dominated by men and women from the Philipines, brought over both legally and illegally. These foreign workers take better care of the Israeli aging generation, our parents and our grandparents, than any Israeli would choose to do for their own family member.

This is not the Israeli who came over to British Palestine by boat from Europe, who dug out swamps and built houses for Jews, brick by brick.

So please don't take away my expert sushi makers, and instead think about a reasonable, fair and effectively implemented policy that will benefit Israel in the long run.

The Week After Winograd

2008-02-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

Ehud Barak of the Labour Party will not be leaving the government and will not call for early elections. So pleased he is with his actions (NOT!), that when the Knesset members gathered to discuss the results of the report, Barak was conspicuously missing from his seat, stating that he did not want to give the impression that he was relieving Olmert of his responsibility and failure during the war.

The day after the report was released, a poll revealed that if elections were held now, Netanyahu (Likud) would receive 30% of the vote; Olmert (Kadima), in his shame, would still garner approximately 18% of the vote; and Barak would come in a pitiful third, with approximately 14% of the vote. Had Barak left the coalition before Wednesday, January 30th, the results would have been significantly higher in Barak's favor, because his actions would have shown that he has a line he will not cross for the sake of holding onto power.

Olmert takes every opportunity the press gives him to laud the conclusions of the Winograd Committee Final Report, and sits pretty in the Prime Minister's office, ready to give away the country to those who would kill us. Since the issue of the report, more cities within Israeli territory have suffered from bombings, injuries and human fatalities.

At least one of the members of the committee has announced to the press that they were indeed more inclined to soften the blow on Olmert, because several members did not want to hand the country over to Netanyahu and the parties on the right. Now a State Commission must be chosen to investigate the impropriety of the acts and conclusions of the Winograd people, Olmert's cronies. If, however, more of Olmert's good friends land conveniently in this group of dedicated and supposedly objective citizens, we can expect more of the same.

In other words, more bombs and no political bombshells.

The Day After Winograd

2008-01-31T22:04:00.000-08:00

The headline in the newspaper screamed, "PM: I am vindicated". Because the final draft of the Winograd Report stated what everyone already knew, and removed the bits that placed personal responsibility onto Olmert.

OK, so the report said that the army screwed up, every division and footsoldier is to blame for the failure to reach the objectives of the war. OK, so the army was taking orders from their military superiors, who were consulting with the cabinet and senior staff of the government of Israel. OK, the cabinet was taking orders from...the Wizard of Oz?

What the headline should have read, was "Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain".

Once again, Olmert has refused to take the difficult responsibility that comes along with the position of Prime Minister of Israel. If read accurately, the report would tell him that he and his appointed cabinet, along with the army brass, do not know how to run a war and come out victorious. Olmert and his government do not know how to protect the citizens who elected him into power, citizens who coincidentally are under threat of war and terror on a regular basis.

It is time for Olmert to pack his bags and retire.

Though the calls for his resignation have gone down from 68% (pre-report) to 53% (post-report), our Arabs neighbors have lauded the results, saying that Olmert is now even weaker in their eyes. Which translates to more rocket attacks on Sderot, and more terror infiltrations in Israeli territory.

We Israelis deserve better leadership.

Divine Intervension

2008-01-29T08:41:00.000-08:00

Oprah Winfrey endorses Barack Obama.
JFK endorses Obama, apparently from the Great Beyond.

The day before the Winograd Committee Report is meant to be published and distributed, comes the promise of snow, which will shut down all of Jerusalem.

Leaving Olmert one more day to hold onto his tenuous power position. One more day that Ehud Barak of the Labour Party can pretend that he has the balls to leave the coalition and force early Israeli elections. One more day that Shas (the Sephardic Religious party) can whore themselves for money, in return for empty and corrupt leadership. One more day that the terrorists surrounding Israel can take advantge of our weak position and threaten our citizens.

New Traditional Holidays

2008-01-22T22:02:00.000-08:00

Since the founding of the State of Israel, there has been an effort on part of the "new" Israelis to re-define traditional Jewish holidays, more in keeping with a country trying to emulate the rest of the nations. And so I provide for you a chart of some of the major Biblical holidays, with their modern sensibilities.

Chanukah
Traditional Name: Chanukah
History: Macabees save nation from Toga party and jelly doughnuts
New Improved Name: Chag Urim (Festival of Lights)

(*This holiday sponsored by Toys R Us and all things oil.)

Christmas
Traditional Name: Chag HaMolad (The Festival of the Birth)
History: Jesus, who was in fact Jewish, is born in a manger.
New Improved Name: Chag HaMishloach (Festival of the Take-Out Food, as modern Jews around the world celebrated by going to the movies and getting Chineese take-out)

(*This holiday sponsored by the GNP and Kung Pow Chicken)

Lag B'Omer
Traditional Name: Festival of the Trees
History: Agricultural New Year
New Improved Name: Chag HaYaar
(Festival of the Forest, have to think
Green and Global these days.)

(*This holiday sponsored by Al Gore: inventor of the internet, underrated American Vice President, Oscar winner and Nobel Prize recipient. What a guy! And by Keren Kayemet, the Israeli institution that plants trees, virtual trees in the Shmita year.)

Purim
Traditional Name: Festival of the Lot
History: Kidnapped Jewish Esther and Uncle Mordechai save nation and play dress up
New Improved Name: Chag HaShicorim (Festival of the Drunkards)

(*This holiday sponsored by AA and the junk food industry.)

Rosh HaShana
Traditional: Jewish New Year
History: All creation on their knees, begging for forgiveness, in between lots of festive meals
New Improved Name: Chag HaDieta (As in after the holiday, I will go on my diet)

Yom Kippur
Traditional Name: Day of Judgement
History: Holiest day of year where all creation assumes positive results of Rosh
Hashana, and celebrates by abstaining from all things fun. Except for the streets filled with children riding bikes, and roller blading, because they know they won't get run over by a car.
New Improved Name: Chag HaOfanaim (Festival of the Bike)
Alternative Name: Festival of the Massive Video Rentals because all TV and radio stations shut down for 25 hours.

(*This holiday sponsored by therapists, who are most concerned at the pattern of binge eating and fasting in Jewish culture and tradition.)

Succot
Traditional Name: Feast of the Tabernacle
History: To thank G-d for protecting us in the deser, though not asking directions for 40 years, Jews live in windy huts
New Improved Name: Chag HaDvorim (Festival of the Bees, who swarm looking for
warm Jewish food and honey)

(*This holiday sponsored by Christmas lights, bought on sale and used in the Succah.)

Shavuot
Traditional Name: The Time of the Giving of the Torah
History: Encounter with greatness at Mt. Sinai , celebrated by pulling an all nighter, like in college
New Improved Name: Chag Motzarei Chalav (The Dairy Holiday)

(*This holiday sponsored by the Israeli Dairy farmers, who are out to punish the Lactose Intolerant.)

Pessach
Traditional Name: Festival of the Matzot
History: Starts with a four-cup wine feast, no bread for a week, and trust me, Matza is no substitute
New Improved Name: Chag Baayot HaIcool (Festival of Problematic Digestion)

(*This holiday is (a) Kosher for Passover (b) Kosher for Passover only for those who can eat Legumes (c) Kosher for Passover for those who cannot eat Legumes.)

Olmert's Shrinking Coalition

2008-01-17T22:26:00.000-08:00

With the loss of the Yisrael Beiteinu party, led by the Russian Lieberman, over "core issues," Ehud Olmert still has 67 seats in his coaltion, and claims not to be worried. He will continue to plow through his plans for Middle East Peace, giving away half the country at bargain prices to terrorists, and fulfilling the mandate of his Lame Duck poltical Daddy, George Bush.

Isn't it time (to rephrase a quote from American Presidential candidate, Ron Paul) that America stopped giving Israel billions of dollars per year, stopped treating this very capable 60 year old country like a teenager and providing us with a conditional allowance? How much longer does Israel have to abide by, "As long as you live in my house, young man, you will do what I tell you" ? When does Israel start to protect its citizens, without asking permission from the rest of the universe?

As proof of this argument, since Bush's visit last week, and Olmert's repeated press conferences in which he has promised to help build a Palestinian state within Israeli territory, the missile attacks on Sderot have increased exponentially.

The next in line to leave Olmert's coalition could be either the Shas party, who may have to look past the whoredom for seminary funds that is their modus operndi. Or the Labour party will be forced to leave the goverment once the Winograd Committee Report is published on January 30th. Either way, Israel will G-d willing be calling early elections, and will finally unseat the slick, power-addicted Prime Minister.

Which begs the question, which person of quality and commitment could step in and do a better job?

Countdown to Winograd

2008-01-10T03:57:00.000-08:00

The Ehud Olmert-George Bush lovefest ends tomorrow, and thank G-d for that; as a resident of Jerusalem I am tired of the city wide "house arrest" that has been imposed for the duration of the American President's visit. This visit to the Middle East cost the American taxpayers $40 million dollars, and has cost Israel over 25 million shequel as well, because of the increased police presence and the closure of public transportation and businesses for three days.

It should be noted that Bush and Olmert did not visit Sderot, where citizens are bombed and under serious threat on a daily basis. Nor did Bush speak with Hamas in Aza, towards the goal of limiting terrorist activity or returning the three Israeli MIAs, kidnapped close to two years ago.
This trip involved sight-seeing and glad-handling, so that Bush's presidency would record one visit to this area - meeting with a weak Olmert and an equally lame Abbas -before his second term ends on the note of general miserable failure.

Once Bush leaves on Friday, Ehud Olmert will not be able to escape the impending publication of the Winograd Committee's report, a document that by all accounts and rumors will demand the immediate resignation of Olmert and many of his senior staff and ministers. Olmert, however, should not shoulder the consequences on his own.

At the very least his Foreign Minister and fellow member of the Kadima party, Tzippi Livini, should resign as well. Recent reports revealed that Livni had the opportunity, only one week after the kidnapping of the MIAs, to return two of the three men safely into Israeli hands, and she botched the negotiations. Now we don't have access to any information about these soldiers, the government cannot even state with certainty that they are still alive.

Ehud Barak of the Labour party has indicated that he may leave the coalition and force early elections. Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu of the Likud party has called for Olmert's resignation even before the final report becomes the main event, as the Prime Minister is already under suspicion in several criminal investigations. Olmert has responded by saying that he will "never" leave his office, and that as the person who made the mistakes cited in the report, he is in the best position to resolve them.

A leader in a democracy must take full responsibility for his errors, and cannot hold himself outside the law he claims to represent. Olmert must leave now, before he perpetrates any more damage on Israel and its citizens.

Saving the Planet...One Plastic Bag at a Time

2008-01-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

(Another installment of Life in Israel)

A Chiropractic colleague of mine recently explained to me that his yardstick for choosing friends is the following: "I don't like people who litter." I exclaimed that surely there must be a higher moral or social characteristic that defines a worthwhile person, and he had me think about his definition. In fact, the people I choose to call friends, those I respect and admire and enjoy their company, do not randomly distribute garbage on the streets; and those whom I dislike are generally disrespectful to others, and to the Earth.

Israel began implementing two policies this week, plans that are meant to assist in the fight for Gaea's survival. The first incorporates a penalty against older less maintained vehicles whose fuel emissions don't meet modern standards, and add to the pollution in larger cities. But they haven't decided how they will enforce the new law, and so it becomes part of a running list of "laws without teeth."

The second initiative addresses the issue of plastic versus paper, and paradoxically, supermarkets are now charging clients extra if they choose to use recycled paper bags, rather than for the use of non-biodegradable plastic bags. Most clients will not want to pay for the privilege of being eco-conscious, and so the planet will suffer.

Bravo for the backwards politics of a nation that could do so much better for itself and the environment, and falls vastly short.

The Lame Duck Visits Israel

2008-01-06T04:32:00.000-08:00

I gave the Israeli version of Survivor one more chance last night, and watched the agonizing episode. Luckily I had taped it, and was able to flip through the more tedious moments. I don't think I care who wins, in fact I hope they all get stuck in the Caribbean and don't return to Israel.

What I did notice while watching is that the behaviour of the Israeli contestants illustrate the basic flaws in our approach to a negotiation and settlement with the Arabs in our region.

Firstly, the players [in Survivor] seem to forget that this is a winner take all event, and instead, fought to keep the weakest player on board, while voting out another member of the tribe who could lead them successfully through physical challenges. Likewise, we Israelis try to apply Western values to a Muslim society which takes advantage of weakness. The more we try to give them, the more we say "they don't really mean to drive us into the sea," the more they will assail our land with bombs from the sky and terrorists from within.

Second, the Israeli Survivors talk too much, to the camera and to each other. They reveal too much of their plan to others, and the editors of the program do not have the common sense to leave out parts of the show that are noise and filler. The reason the American version of the television program works so well is because each episode has a formula, and it all fits into one hour, including commercials. On the local and international political negotiation front, we Israelis make the mistake of showing all our cards before anyone asks, we publish our secret plans on the front page of every newspaper, for all to read. It would not hurt us to selectively speak, and do more listening.

The long war that Israel and Jews have been fighting against the Arabs, and all those who would try to wipe us and our country off the map, boils down to one fact: in a winner-takes-all conflict, you lose by playing nicely with others. We must be proactive and offensive in our actions, we must protect our citizens first and foremost from those who have proven to be immediate and real threats. An idea that Prime Minister Olmert has failed to grasp, because he is too busy keeping himself out of jail.

Every other country on the planet would put their very existence and safety before others, that is a basic human right that Israel inexplicably denies itself.

Here's hoping that President Bush, when he visits Israel this week, can start to comprehend that Survivor reality.

Mister Rogers on Relationships

2008-01-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

Fred McFeely Rogers, known as Mister Rogers to the civilized world, was a calming and assuring presence in my life when I was a child. Even today, I find his simple approach to life comforting and totally on target. Reading his books as an adult, I feel like he still values me as a person, that he is speaking directly to me and my struggles.

That is the power of the man, and his words.

Given my frustration with the dating and marriage scene, I found this advice of his most helpful, and wish to pass it on to those readers who could use it:

"Love" is a word to use with care. It means many different things and can be expressed in many different ways. But I think it means that a person can grow to his or her fullest potential only in mutually caring relationships with other human beings.

Mutually caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in others' achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain. We need to accept the fact that it is not in the power of any human being to provide all these things all the time. For any of us, mutually caring relationships will also always include some measure of unkindness and impatience, intolerance, pessimism, envy, self-doubt, and disappointment.

Love doesn't mean a state of perfect caring. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now - and to go on caring through joyful times and through times that may bring us pain.

May the new year bring us all joy, and the love that we need in our lives.

Girl Power

2007-12-31T00:47:00.000-08:00

From a newspaper clipping in the New York Times, that has been in my wallet for close to 20 years:

Benazir Bhutto, the dismissed Pakistani prime minister, has given her three children advice in case they are ever teased in school about her downfall, reports Newsweek: "I told them to say, 'My Mummy has been prime minister twice. How many times has your mummy been prime minister?' "

Not just prime minister, but the first and only woman to be the leader of a Muslim country, and her murder represents a tragic blow for Pakistan, and for democracy everywhere.

Although I was encouraged by the news that her son and husband would be taking up her mantle, I can't help but wonder why a female blood-relative was not given that opportunity, based upon the late Benazir Bhutto's success.

That being said, I do not think that Hilary Clinton should be given the same opportunity in the American Presidential race. Despite the fact that the Times has given her a 3-in-1 chance of winning the overall election, I do not feel that she has the right stuff for bridge building, either within Washington and overseas. And it has nothing to do with her having a pair of breasts.

The Next King of Jerusalem

2007-12-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

Arcadi Gaydamak - former arms dealer, sports fan and wealthy social activist - has officially declared himself running for Mayor of Jerusalem, and has positioned members of his 'social movement' to run for various government positions in 55 other places in Israel.

Nir Bareket - millionaire, leader of the opposition on the Jerusalem Municipal Board, and social activist - has also announced his candidacy for the Mayor of Jerusalem, representing the "last chance for Jerusalem to remain pluralistic."

Bareket refers of course to the assault and domination of Jerusalem by the Ultra-Orthodox, facilitated by PM Ehud Olmert and led by the current Mayor, Lupolianski. Uri Lupolianski and his cronies regularly ask their Rabbi for political guidance, and belong to a movement within Judaism that does not recognize the validity of a secular Jewish country.

Meanwhile, Jerusalem remains one of the poorest, dirtiest and most polluted cities in all of Israel; one has to wonder where our taxes have been re-allocated, perhaps to the seminaries that encourage perfectly healthy family men not to work and not to serve in the army. Communities which in their spare time burn public property, stone Israeli citizens and police men, and host anti-Semitic Iranian Presidents.

In Jewish tradition, wealth is one of the characteristics of a "good" King for Israel, because it will prevent the leader from being bribed or swayed by the allure of the bling. Both Gaydamak and Bareket fit that bill, Barakat has subtly bought votes while Gaydamak has taken the more direct approach: paying for busloads of Sderot children to go to an amusement park for the day, buying the flailing Jerusalem soccer team, or contributing NIS One Million for a playground at a yeshiva in Or Akiva.

Let's face it, charisma helps for a politician, but money makes you The Candidate. The same is true in the American presidential elections, where a candidate is judged only partially by their popularity and positions, but mostly by their war chest.

I voted for Nir Bareket last time and hope to have that chance again. Anything to stop the Ultra-Orthodox tyranny and restore the honor of the city that is holy to all religions, and just happens to be my home.

What Did You Say?

2007-12-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

Communication. Essential for any healthy and productive relationship, and certainly helpful when you have moved to a new country. When I moved to Israel in 1997, I studied in Ulpan, an intensive Hebrew language course. The Israeli government paid for my tuition and gave me a small monthly stipend for the period of time in which I studied and therefore, worked less.

The teachers' strike ended only last week, after close to two months, and many university professors are still on strike. Some genius in the government has decided that in order to remedy the mess in the elementary schools, all funding for Ulpan should be frozen indefinitely. Because in the choice between Israeli-born citizens, and immigrants who have given up so much to live here, the citizens come first.

Israelis always seem to come first. As soon as I open my mouth and speak my top flight Hebrew with my natural American accent, most Israelis will try to take advantage of me. If you move to Israel as an adult male, you cannot logistically serve the same army service as a 18 year old sabra; and yet, if you apply for a job and your resume indicates that you are not a "true" Israeli soldier, you are much less likely to get the position. Even if you serve more reserve duty than many Israelis who served the full three years.

I will always have my unfortunate American accent when I speak Hebrew, but I gave up a salary four times what I make here, I gave up family and friends, because I wanted to fulfill my dream of living in the Jewish homeland and giving the best of myself to this country. I was one of the lucky immigrants, coming with solid Hebrew and a natural talent for languages. Others may not be so blessed, they may need to start at the ground floor, with the Aleph-Bet.

Israel should be encouraging new immigrants, rather than taking away their import rights, and taking away any chance of clear communication in Hebrew or integration into their new home.

Partners for Peace

2007-12-17T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sunday Haaretz headline, front page: Hamas Vows to Never Recognize the Existence of Israel.

Summary: Over 20,000 participants in a rally celebrating the 20th anniversary of the founding of the extremist terror group, Hamas, chanted in unison, "We will never recognize the State of Israel." They then vowed to continue their war of terror until they had rid their supposed land of every last Jew, dead or alive.

Monday, Radio News: Reports from a terrorist website that over a year and a half ago, right after the three Israeli soldiers had been kidnapped, this Arab terrorist saw Gilad Shalit being led to a jeep by three Palestinians. At the time, the anonymous writer reports that Shalit was bloody and weak, and looked like he had at least several fractures, and not long to live.

Monday editorial piece by Moshe Arens, surprisingly printed by Haaretz, a usually left-wing newspaper: The Numbers Don't Lie

Summary: Arens, a respected right-wing Israeli politician presents the facts regarding Sderot and the Quassam missile strikes, pre and post Disengagement. The same Disengagement that was part of the continuing effort of Israel to treat the Arab population with consideration and kindness, to show that we honor our agreements.

Year, Quassam Strikes

2001, 4
2002, 36
2003, 155
2004, 281
2005, 179 (Year of the Disengagement)
2006, 946 (That would be a 529% increase!)
2007, 783 (so far...)

The numbers speak for themselves. Our so-called Arab peace partners will take advantage of our show of weakness and kindness, and the more we give, the more they will take.

And what is our Prime Minister Ehud Olmert doing about the situation? Trying to give away as much as he can, trying not to get arrested, and clinging desperately to his position of power.

Monday, Radio News: In what can be classified as the least surprising bombshell of the year, the Winograd Committee will sadly be unable to issue the report that would force Olmert to resign his position as Prime Minister. According to the news, the report is in the process of being "re-written," as it currently lists in excruciating detail all the failures and extreme mismanagement of Olmert and his cabinet during the war last year. Even the interim report will not be ready at least until after George Bush's visit to Israel in 2008, until such time as Olmert can damage his country and its citizens even more.

It should be noted that while many Israeli parents sent their sons to serve, and die, in Olmert's failed war, the Prime Minister's own children either fled the country, or proclaimed themselves Conscientious Objectors. No need for the leader of the country to potentially sacrifice his flesh and blood, let the plebeians suffer instead.

As Moshe Arens wrote, "No need to await the final [Winograd] report, the conclusion is clear...We are seeing daily a repetition of this failure in Sderot."

Quitting by Example

2007-12-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

The mayor of Sderot, the missile-ridden Israeli town, quit his position this week. The government has been absolutely unwilling to protect the citizens of this battered town, and has not provided funds to build protective areas, either for private homes or for the schools. Mayor Moyal could not live up to his basic campaign promise: to serve and protect the residents of Sderot.

Alon Davidi, Chairman of the Sderot security staff, responded with the following:
"We call upon the Prime Minister [Ehud Olmert] to follow in the footsteps of Eli Moyal and to resign from his position, because of his failure to ensure the security of the city's inhabitants."

Hear hear! Not only has PM Olmert failed to protect the citizens of Sderot; not only are the displaced Israeli citizens from Aza still homeless and unemployed, one and a half years later; but Olmert can't hold back his enthusiasm to displace the rest of the country's inhabitants. "Please," Olmert is practically begging the Arabs, "take the rest of our land. Make a Palestinian capital in the middle of West Jerusalem. Continue bombing our citizens and supporting terrorism until we have no where to live and no where to go." Pause. "I can always live in Paris with my wife and sons, and with my cigar collection."

If Olmert fails to take his cue from Eli Moyal of Sderot, perhaps the unpopular, power addicted PM should note the recent response of American Presidential candidate, Fred "Law and Order" Dalton Thompson. When asked why he had such short stint in the US Congress, he replied that he felt that he could not achieve his goals and help his constituents. When asked what about the best thing he did in fact accomplish in his time there, Thompson answered, "I left."

Oprah and the Politics of Race

2007-12-09T21:56:00.000-08:00

At a minimum personal worth of $40 billion a year, she sneezes near a book and it immediately becomes a best seller. Even if the author has plagiarized. She gives away cars and donates money for the unfortunate and uneducated all over the world. She is the poster child for "Who says you have to get married and have children?"

Pretty terrific for a woman who got her start in television on the local news, as an overweight, uncharismatic weather girl.

In the Democratic Presidential race, Oprah had a dilemma: does she support the token woman or the token black? And the winner is Barack Obama.

I give Obama credit for his drive and his dynamic speaking style. He and his young pretty wife make quite a photo opportunity, and Bill Cosby would be proud at the strides that a man of color has made in the White world. Even if it is the Democratic party.

However, what Barack Obama lacks is experience, particularly in the international realm. Just because he can excite an audience with his evangelical style, does not mean that he has enough bruises from politics to maneuver the complex relationships between the currently isolated United States, and the rest of the world, full of potential allies and enemies.

I appreciate Oprah taking a stand (because she can) and boosting Obama's coffers (because she can) and trying to make history with the 2008 elections. (Obama, the Broadway Show! Obama, the Best Selling Autobiography, as featured in the Oprah book club! Etc.) Barak Obama is not cooked and ready to be served, he should accumulate more friends in Washington, get his hands dirtier, and run in 2012.

This has nothing to do with his color, nor do I feel the need or obligation to pander to the feminist agenda.

I do not support Hilary Clinton, whom I feel lacks the personality that would inspire respect and cooperation, both from Washington insiders and from leaders abroad. Americans have had enough of the Bush and Clinton political dynasties, and deserve some fresh blood, someone who can begin to tidy up the mess that George W. Bush Jr has left as his legacy.

Playing the Numbers

2007-12-03T21:50:00.000-08:00

Israel on 12/4/07

Temperature in Jerusalem: 16 degrees Celsius
Temperature in Eilat: 25 degrees Celsius
Shequel/Dollar Exchange Rate: 3.841

Number of Chanukah candles lit tonight: 1

Days of the Teachers' Strike and Student Delinquency: 48
International Rank of Israeli Elementary Students: 40/57

Arab Countries in the Middle East: 22
Arab Countries Willing to take in "Palestinian Refugees": 0
Arab Countries Supporting Palestinian Terrorists: 22

% Israelis Supporting the Annapolis proceedings: 23
% Israelis Supporting PM Ehud Olmert: 5 plus/minus 3
"Good Will" Prisoners released by Israel: Yet another 430
Projected Date of Return of the 3 Israeli MIAs: None

Harry "The Highlander", Chiropractic Cat

2007-12-03T00:09:00.000-08:00

By Harry "The Highlander," with some scientific input from his Human

Although I have not officially graduated from Chiropractic school, I consider myself somewhat of an expert. I have extensively observed my Human taking care of clients. Starting when I was one month old, I would sit on the patients' hands to keep them warm, and even now, I can tell when a visitor is having a bad day and needs PT (Purr Therapy).

Like any new parent, the first time I had a cold, my mother called the veterinarian, and asked how to resolve this health issue. I was sneezing and lethargic, and my eyes were gunky and gross. Our doctor prescribes to a holistic approach to feline care, and told Mom to wait a few days, and clean out my eyes on a regular basis; he did not immediately believe that we should leap to the drug route. The prognosis was two or three days of suffering, "Even cats can get a cold," the doctor said.

Chiropractic, based upon a holistic neurological view of the body, believes that the brain and central nervous system have an innate mechanism for correction in times of physical and emotional stress. The spine (the so-called central computer chip) controls all functions of the body, with the nerves starting from the head and continuing all the way into the tail. That's why my tail reacts immediately to our mood by standing upright (happy, secure), swishing back and forth (curious or slightly insecure), or thumping loudly (extremely annoyed). If there is interference in that essential flow of information, a human or feline will get ill.

Inspired by one of her mentors, whose specialty involves re-aligning the spines of race horses, Mom thought, "If I can help humans every day with my treatment, why not try it on Harry?"

Thankfully it worked, and within a half a day, I returned to my active healthy self, forgoing drugs and the trauma of an office visit. It doesn't work every time, and Mom respects and cooperates with conventional medicine, but I prefer the holistic approach.

[The Chiropractor/Human taking dictation adds: Once a client brought his hyperactive dog to the office, and after one session the dog was so much better behaved, a different animal. I have often treated pets with Chiropractic, they respond well. Last year, when Harry sprained his hip from a mis-timed jump and had to be immobile for a week, Chiropractic treatment helped speed his recovery.]

Getting into the Holiday Spirit

2007-12-01T08:33:00.000-08:00

Growing up in America, Chanukah (the Jewish holiday of lights) and Christmas (the cultural holiday of Capitalism) walked hand-in-hand. My non-Jewish friends envied me because I had eight days in which to receive gifts, as opposed to a one-time bonanza under the tree. I envied my non-Jewish friends because I loved the carols, and the spirit of giving, even if it only occurred one day a year.

Especially after living in New York City, the Christmas season has been indelibly imprinted upon my brain. The awe inspiring raising of the tree at Rockefeller Center, and skating beneath its lights on the Rockefeller Center rink. The artistic arrangement of the windows at Macy's, all white and sparkling. The Nutcracker ballet live and sitting in the second row with my grandparents, and the numerous holiday programming on television: Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the original Grinch cartoon, and who can forget the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life. " (Broadcasted 24 hours a day for several weeks, until you want to kill yourself.)

Usually known for their aggressive behaviour, New Yorkers become more kind and gentle, smiling and wishing each other a "Happy Holiday," while they sprint to work or shop for presents. Of course as soon as the drunken orgy takes place in Times Square on New Year's eve, all that generosity of spirit disappears faster than you can say "Ho ho ho."

I moved to Jerusalem, Israel in 1997, and there are essentially three things that I miss about the United States: one, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, my second home since childhood; two, fall foliage; and three, a true holiday spirit in December. Chanukah, unlike for example other Jewish holidays of Pesach or Succot, passes by without too much notice; most adults I know work at least part of the time if not overtime, rather than taking vacation with their family. Other than the appearance of jelly doughnuts and bad children's musicals, you would be hard pressed to find the true meaning of the Festival of Lights: a feeling of joy, family and salvation from an historical enemy of the Jews.

Several years ago, I saw the Nutcracker Ballet performed in Jerusalem. Cow-towing to the various religions, the stage in the first act lacked both a Christmas tree and a Menorah, and instead had an odd pile of presents in the corner. The music was pre-recorded. Towards the end of the second act, the Sugar Plum Fairy slipped and sprained her ankle during her solo, because the stage hand had not properly swept up the fake snow.

Two years ago, some friends and I went to the Jerusalem Theatre, for Handel's Messiah. My friend's husband slept through the first part, had an allergic attack (to culture?) in the second part and left with his wife, while I stayed until the end. The tonal quality of the voices were just OK, both the men and women had trouble hitting the highest and lowest notes.

Last year I attended a Christmas carol concert at the YMCA - I knew all the words - and many of my Jewish friends attend Midnight Mass, though they don't participate in the pure ritual. One of my Chiropractic patients reported to me that last year, 3/4 of the audience at the church were Jewish, and mostly Anglo-Saxon.

This year, the firebug in me made the conscious decision to end work earlier than usual, so that I could light the Menorah on time, and sit and enjoy the experience of family. The inner child in me will seek out another concert and maybe even buy myself a present or two.

Dear Santa...

The Truest Lesson of Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T22:17:00.000-08:00

With the Annapolis Conference four days away, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert unveiled his timid and uninspired strategy: Israel must change, because "keeping the Status Quo endangers Israel."

Wrong, so wrong. It is the mindset of "reasonable Western thought" that endangers not only Israel in its struggle for existence with the Palestinians, but any country on the planet which faces the threat of Muslim terrorism. The Arabs do not respect kindness or negotiation or unilateral withdrawal, they take advantage of it. As soon as an enemy - political or physical - exposes a weakness, they will jump in and attack without hesitation. The Arabs in the region, and the Palestinians in specific, must be dealt with swiftly and offensively, otherwise Israel in fact does not stand a chance of celebrating its 70th birthday.

Ask the Native American dwellers how they felt, as the Pilgrim's nautical SUV pulled up to Plymouth Rock, and were extended the hand of peace and assistance. The celebration of Thanksgiving commemorates the medical, cultural and territorial devastation of a community and a people, the original tenants of the Americas. Those who survived were either sold into slavery, put on show or left to die a lonely and painful death, bearing witness to the disappearance of their ancient life. At least Pocahontas got a Disney movie out of the deal.

During my Chiropractic internship, I had the privilege of working with the First Nation/ Ojibwe community, and learned first hand about their unemployment and their addictions, and their Elder's vain attempts to maintain some of the ceremony and legacy of their ancestors.

As a Jew and as an Israeli, I don't want to be next in line because of our weak-minded leadership. One Holocaust was enough, thank you.

SAA (Survivor Addicts Anonymous)

2007-11-13T22:02:00.000-08:00

I am an addict. I admit it.

When I lived in the United States I watched Survivor religiously, and now that I live in Israel, my friend Mimi sends me tapes of the most updated seasons, which I watch religiously. When I receive the tape, I don't answer phones, I don't eat, I will pull an all-nighter if I have to, just to finish the latest installments. Then I log onto the CBS Survivor site and read the blog and the behind-the-scenes details. Over all the other reality type shows, Survivor seems to tap into the basic play of human nature, a real-life Lord of the Flies experience, where the best of the worst will emerge, and where the person with integrity will not always win the million dollars. (Worthy Winners: Tina, Ethan, Yul, Earl)

I sometimes play out of the fantasy of participating as a contestant on Survivor, after all, I know all the trivia and have various strategies and outcomes all played out, based upon previous seasons. Then I realize that strong women only get so far in the game, once you have proved your worth and the tribes merge, you are quickly ousted before the end of the game, to keep you away from the million dollars. (Wonder Women: Stephanie, Alicia, Ami) Unless you have large boobs which you flash often and play stupid so you can fly under the radar until miraculously, you are in the final three. (Boob Winners: Jenna, Amber) Then I also realize that my childhood camping days have long passed, and that as a civilized grown-up, I could not spend 40 days without a proper shower, a good night's sleep, and the promise of at least one healthy meal each day.

In addition to being addicted, I am also spoiled.

Right now I would simply love to attend one of the Finale shows, instead of eating bugs in the wilderness.

My friend Mimi is in fact one of the true real-life Survivors, she has recently recovered from Breast Cancer. After her most recent surgery, she came to Israel for two weeks, to assist her elderly mother move apartment . Mimi continues to be strong and optimistic, and will not allow the threat of a relapse stop her from living her life.

I hope and pray that the Mimi Show lasts long after the CBS show Survivor is forgotten.

G-d's Intentions Gone Awry

2007-11-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

Today's English Haaretz reported the following on the financial pages: "More than 70% of Ultra-Orthodox men and about 50% of women are not employed, and most of their families live below the poverty line...since most of the men in the Ultra-Orthodox community dedicate most of their time to religious studies and do not work, the burden of making a living falls on the woman. However, many of these woman cannot find work due to a lack of professional skills and training, as well as the heavy burden of child rearing."

The Ultra-Orthodox community passes on the the cycle of poverty to the next generation, by failing to provide their sons with a secular education past the eighth grade, and by perpetuating the role of the girl as future young mother, sole provider, and martyr to the cause. Furthermore, this community isolates themselves with their refusal to serve in the army in the country in which they live and take advantage of financially.

When G-d said, "Be fruitful and multiply, " the Supreme Being did not intend this scenario: One million and a half children living below the poverty line, emotionally and physically neglected, arrogantly taught that they are morally superior, thus promoting intolerance, hatred and civil war.

I am reading a book now called "God, A Biography" written by Jack Miles. Mr. Miles - a religious man who believes that the Old Testament is divinely inspired - uses the literal text of the Tanach (Hebrew Bible) to create a profile of G-d, as the Supreme Being evolves with the evolution of man into various nations. By Miles' account, G-d starts out as the Creator of Mankind, then becomes the Terminator. He begins by giving Man blessings and complete freedom ("in his own image"), has a brief run of trying to take back some of the privileges (you can't get the toothpaste back into the tube), and in the end, is co-opted by Man for their own manipulative purposes.

This view certainly would disturb the faithful, and yet, the text supports it. G-d creates Man without an apparent plan for leadership or discipline, looses his temper frequently, impulsively over-reacting with his punishments and then immediately falling into regret and backtracking. For many cultures he becomes a theoretical stick, the Ultimate Monster in the Closet, waved at the nation as a threat, or used to advance personal power.

There must be a Higher Power in the Universe, and there must be a larger plan; if we were not handed a template, I believe that Man would have to invent the idea, to make sense of the chaos of daily life. But for anyone to use ritual and religion to encourage war, terror, division and sloth, shame on humanity. And shame on our errant Prime Minister and the Israeli government for giving into the religious parties' political blackmail.

I Didn't Know that Cats are Gay

2007-11-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

Sarel needed to go to the vet yesterday, for his annual check up and vaccinations.* The day did not begin well, with heavy grey rain clouds threatening from the early morning; I could only imagine myself walking through the streets of Jerusalem with a cat cage and a six and a half kilo cat, both of us soaking wet. I was also nervous because they had recently built a new road near the veterinary office, and I was unsure if there would be parking or direct access.

I had left the carrying-cage out in the salon for an entire day, so it would sit in the house and he could explore it, and ultimately find its presence non-threatening. My plan only partially worked, a five minute battle ensued to get Sarel into the cage when the time came to leave the house. On the way to the doctor's visit, he complained loudly, but in a pacifist Gandhi-like manner.

When we arrived, the vet and his assistants gave me a wary smile. Turns out they had thought that Harry (Sarel's extremely difficult and scary older brother) was meant to have his appointment today, and according to Dr. Tzvi, they spent several hours preparing themselves for the trauma. When I heard this confession, I could only laugh, and then tried to defend Harry, saying that at home he is gentle and affectionate; he has been brought up with love since he was a kitten, and has never lived on the street. Apparently some cats are "quite simply, little bastards." (Dr. Tzvi's words, not mine.)

Sarel sat quietly cowering and in contrast to his brother, allowed the vet to perform all the tests, including picking him up high in the air, checking his rather large vampire teeth, and giving him the vaccine. You could feel the tension easing all over the office, there would be no antiseptic or stitches for humans today.

I told Dr. Tzvi and his assistant an amazing story that attests to the kindness of heart of Sarel, and in my opinion, the ability of all creatures to overcome their basic programming. I explained that Sarel himself had been a rescue cat, and had lived on the street for close to a year before I found him (run over by a car) and adopted him. In the last year, Sarel adopted a beautiful cream colored kitten, Gingi, who is now a fully grown, healthy street cat, part of our extended family. Gingi allows me to pet him, and likes to spend some quality time with me before he eats the food I have brought him.

Sarel (male cat, neutered) adopted Gingi (male cat, large assets). Gingi has recently adopted a long hair gray and white kitten whom I have called Rocky, because his/her nose looks like it was in one too many brawls. Gingi has given Rocky a home with him, and every morning makes sure that everyone is fed together. The obvious nurturing comes from an unknown place in the male feline psyche, I cannot imagine a territorial animal who thrives on survival instincts displaying this kind of generosity, and yet, it happens every day before my eyes.

My theory supposes that character traits can be learned, and that a cycle of giving and generosity will be passed on through the next generations of street cats in my area. Their behaviour is an inspiration to me, it means that humans can undo negative patterns and learn new tricks. The assistant exclaimed, "Wow, a phenomenon of gay cats!" (Idiot!) Dr. Tzvi appreciated the uniqueness of the situation, and suggested that I had taught them the act of charity.

As a bonus, Sarel got a new bright red collar, he will be the envy on all his friends.

In the drive home, my back hurting from carrying a cat and his cage up the hills of Jerusalem to my parking space, I tried to console Sarel, who was still shaking with fear. I sang to him, I recited the poem Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll, most of which I know by heart: " O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy." In fact I noticed that Sarel was not chorteling, but rather whimpering and retreating.

No one likes going to the doctor. So I gave him a large tablespoon of tuna when we got home. And I took a nice shot of single malt whiskey.

*Note: While I object to many of the vaccines and shots given to humans, my stand changes vis a vis felines. They play outside in Lord knows what, they get into fights over territory, and in that case, better safe than sorry.

Rock the Overseas Vote

2007-11-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.overseasvotefoundation.org/

If you are an American citizen living in Israel or anywhere overseas, go to this non-partisan site right now. It will take about ten minutes to fill in your details, and they provide with a completed and correct Federally-approved form. They even provide you with the exact mailing address of your local voting authority. All you need to do is buy a stamp and mail the letter.

The Presidential elections in 2008 will impact the future of the economic stability and national security for the United States, as well as its ripple effect on all nations on the planet. The next President will decide the fate of the soldiers being senselessly killed every day in Iraq and Afghanistan. The next President will the will affect the power base and status of United States of America.

Have your say, exercise your democratic right to vote. Don't let a little thing like geography stop you from changing the world, one vote at a time.

Friday News Feed

2007-11-02T02:57:00.000-07:00

Life Imitates Art

This past season on the Israeli tele-novella, The Champion, they featured a fictional (cigar-chomping) Prime Minister who had been diagnosed with cancer. This PM then decided that if he is indeed going to die in the next year, he wants to facilitate a true peace in the Middle East as his legacy. The final episode of this season involved an assassination attempt by one of his closest advisers, who was also coincidentally, an arms dealer.

And now we hear that PM Ehud Olmert (a real-life cigar chomping Prime Minister) has been diagnosed with Prostate cancer. A corrupt man whose approval ratings were technically in the minus is now "popular," and he is riding this wave by pushing through major land grabs for the Arabs, until there is nothing Jewish left of the capitol and the country.

I say, as a purely objective medical professional, that he should take some time off, resign his position and tend to his body, while someone else fixes the damage he has done thus far to the country.

Global Warming, Israel Style

Traditionally, the rainy season in Israel begins at the conclusion of the Jewish holiday of Succot, a holiday which has long passed. Instead of the much needed rain, Israel is experiencing not only sunny and pleasant weather, but a dusty heat wave. Those of us who suffer from allergies during the transitional season appreciate this phenomenon less, not to mention how the drought will affect the crops and the water supply.

Could be Al Gore's pet project, global warming, though the religious and superstitious sort attribute 'Biblical' causes, ie that G-d is showing his displeasure with the current state of the government by denying us water. The Torah does indeed state that if we Israelites do not deserve to live in the Holy Land, the land will literally "chuck us out."

I am not yet packing my suitcase, but find that performing the ancient Native American rain dance on my porch makes me feel better.

Facebook Etiquette

Facebook made the news this week, along with its 25 year old founder, and I say good for him, let him have some spending money in his pocket. The expansion of social networking on the web has introduced certain sticky situations, for which there is no official protocol.

This past week I "broke up" with some friends, and contemplated for several days whether it was appropriate or kind to remove them from my Facebook network, even though they had hurt me very badly and didn't think about my feelings. I decided that I could accept the fact that we were no longer a part of each other's lives, and that access to my profile would provide no real damage.

This morning, I checked Facebook, and lo and behold, the wife of this couple had unceremoniously dropped me from her Friends list. Notably, her husband had not. I felt that it was not appropriate to have any contact with the husband, given both their actions in the past two weeks; and that as long as the wife had struck the first blow, so to speak, I could remove the husband with a clear conscience.

I have heard stories that people have made themselves available to date on Facebook, before they even broke up face-to-face with their partners.

What would Miss Manners say?

Dollar Continues to Fall

The shequel-dollar exchange rate for today is 3.964.

Financial analysts are recommending that you keep your money under your mattress until George Bush gets out of the White House.

DNR, Unless it Benefits the Party

2007-10-29T03:53:00.000-07:00

The topic of DNR requests ("Do not resuscitate") and Living Wills became the topic of a heated discussion today, in the Women's locker room at the pool. Many Israelis do not even have a will which would protect their family, as was unfortunately the case with the 11-year old boy who lost his entire family in a car accident last month. Many women in the locker room today did not know with whom to consult regarding a will or the specific issue of the DNR, but most agreed that they would like to control their health care, and their death, as much as is possible.

Ariel Sharon, the former Prime Minister and current vegetable, has been kept in stasis for approximately the last two years, since he had his second more deadly stroke around the time of the elections. Initially, he was kept alive to give voters the impression that the party he founded, Kadima, would eventually return as their leader and as the political leader of the Israeli people. It made it easier to vote for Kadima, knowing that Ehud Olmert would be a temporary caretaker for the Lion of Judah.

Sharon then needed to be kept alive for the first 100-days, after the elections, so Olmert could technically solidify his power and create alliances, according to the Kadima charter. Now and again, the Sharon family leaks the condition of the former PM to the press, to keep the hope alive. Apparently, Sharon enjoys being sat in front of the television, along with all the medical gear keeping him alive, and particularly enjoys programs on National Geographic. He is, in Orwellian speak, "stable."

Those who may have disagreed with Ariel Sharon's politics would still applaud him for the energy and dedication that he exhibited for Israel in all his years of involvement in the army and then in party politics. He was a vital, stubborn man. By keeping him alive, it shows a total lack of respect for the legacy of his life, and the dignity of the human body.

Dignity of course can be variously defined by medical doctors, family members, Rabbinic authorities and philosophers. A cannibal might define respect of the human form by saving the brains for last; I wouldn't know, I have not been invited to their parties. Walt Disney felt it was totally dignified to sever his head from his body and put the housing for his brain in cryo-stasis, so that someday his consciousness and collective memories may be transplanted into a new vessel. The actor who played Mr. Scott (the engineer of Star Trek fame) had his remains launched into space.

I say that a person most definitely should make his/her wishes regarding their death - in both natural and unexpected cases - clear to their family. Each person deserves the right to say when they have had a proper (albeit relative) quality of life. If you do not want to be hooked up to machines that breathe, eat and go to the bathroom for you, let your loved ones know.

I have a will, not because I am actively planning my death, and not because I must provide for guardianship of children. I have a will, which includes a DNR, because I have already been shot at once and almost died, and I live in a country where deaths from terrorism and war are overshadowed by deaths from traffic accidents.

I may not have much to say, but I believe that it is important to make my wishes known. I need to make sure that my patients, and my cats, get place with caring people.

Tall People

2007-10-26T03:36:00.000-07:00

A song called "Short People" came onto the radio this morning, and I paid attention to the words, and the chorus in particular disturbed me: "Short people got no reason to live." I don't think a folk song should be advocating suicide, just because someone is height challenged.

I also challenge the world to consider the detriment of being tall. Only a tall woman can relate to the following painful memories of childhood:
1. Wanting to shop at the same stores where all the other girls buy their clothing.
2. Wanting to buy your first pair of high heels, and realizing that none of the cool stores carry a size 11 or 12 women's, and having to go to the Ugly Shoe Store for Old Ladies to buy some hideous Orthopaedic pair of "comfortable shoes."
3. Never being "cute."
4. Going to a bowling birthday party and being told in front of all your friends that they don't have your size in a women's shoe, you will have to wear one of the men's bowling shoes. (Like you don't feel awful enough already in a bowling shoe...)
5. Maintaining poor posture and slouching to the height of the group, so that you can feel like you are at eye-level.
5. Having limited dating options, or actually dating someone who is at least a head shorter than you, and seeing your reflection as a couple in the mirror for the first time, and feeling like you are Shrek and he is Princess Fiona, when she is not an ogre.

One of my grandmothers had a size 12 shoe, quite rare for a woman of that generation, and unlike today, there were zero options to walk into a normal store and buy normal fashionable foot ware. My other grandmother bought me a book called The Tallest Girl in the Class, a story about this girl in the fourth grade felt like an outsider and a freak, until she was picked to play the Christmas tree in the pageant, because she was the tallest person in the class. The children's book does not specify if she needed therapy later in life.

In elementary school, because I towered over both the girls and the boys, I was chosen to play Mordechai in the Purim musical, which we performed in front of the whole school. In retrospect, I would like to question the intelligence and sensitivity of putting a shy tall girl in a beard. My best friend at the time, Karen Zomick, got to play Queen Esther, because she was petite and "cute."

Today as an adult, I appreciate the many ways in which I am outside the box, my height being only one factor through which I stand out in the crowd. Tall people have stature and authority; my three brothers each stand over six feet. If I were thin enough, I could be a super-model. Quite content with my body and my build, I have no desire to lose a few inches, I will lose an inch and a half from my spinal discs as I get older anyway (as all humans do over time).

Maybe I ought to sue my elementary school for my not being married, because they caused gender confusion and set back my self-confidence. Anyone want to take on the case?

Professor Dumbledore, Will You Please Come Out of the Closet

2007-10-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

On behalf of Harry Potter, an orphan who has no parents to speak in his defence, I would like to report his beloved mentor, Professor Albus Dumbledore, for molestation. That's right, now that the esteemed teacher and fighter of evil has been outed, one cannot help but wonder what Harry Potter and he were really doing in all those late night study sessions. For that matter, didn't Professor Snape also spend a lot of one-on-one time with Harry in detention?

Of course, Professor Dumbledore is deceased, and lives only in the portraits on the wall, but dammit, if the various magical persons in all the paintings at Hogworts can interact in real time with students and each other, they can be jailed post mortem.

Why is it that magic must be associated with deviance of a sort? What did JK Rowling gain by declaring that Dumbledore prefers the Wizard over the Witch?

Much like the hullabaloo over the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis, literature makes statements and passes along morality on multiple levels. As a Jewish girl reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the Christian references flew way over my head, and I simply enjoyed the series as a tale about adventurous children in a parallel universe who receive the protection of a kindly magical lion. Aslan doesn't even sound like Jesus...

The television show Sesame Street began when I was one year old, and Big Bird's friend Mr. Snuffleuppagus was conceived initially as a real friend of Big Bird's, who just happened to disappear when any human adult showed up on the scene. (Much like Clark Kent and Superman, they are never around at the same time, hmmm...) In time, the show revealed the melancholy Woolly Mammoth to the remaining residents of Sesame Street; they feared that a child who had been abused or bullied would not approach adults for help, because he/she believed that adults are either stupid, or would not believe their story.

This of course did not go far enough for the liberal "gay" 90's, when speculation ran rampant regarding Bert and Ernie's sexual orientation. I would like to point out that they were roommates, sharing a one-bedroom flat in a very expensive New York real estate market, and that they slept in separate beds. Not once in my growing up and watching the show did I consider another more insidious insinuation.

In Israel, they forgo any subtlety, and the two Ernie and Bert-like puppets who appear in the ads for the Electric Company are known to be gay; one is the "female" and the other is the "male." The verbal pun on an electrical socket works better in Hebrew, but you get the idea.

Perhaps, Rowling created a gay character in the importance of Dumbledore to give courage to children reading her books, children who may have questions about their sexuality but may be afraid to announce it or discuss it with adults. In that case, make Neville gay, he emerged heroic at the end of book seven and in fact in the future, teaches at Hogwarts. Hooray for macho gay Neville and kudos to his Alma mater for have a non-discriminatory hiring policy.

This Dumbledore incident raises the same concerns for me as the Gay Pride Parade in Jerusalem. Call me a prude, but I believe that every person is entitled to his and her privacy as regards choices of intimacy. I don't need to see a heterosexual couple having sex in their car or snogging at a street corner, and the same applies for me with homosexuals, bisexuals and the magical folk. (Being politically correct, I must immediately apologize to any other active sexual group for not mentioning you, I actually don't want to watch you in the bedroom either.)

What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom, across the board.

When the gay and lesbian community feels the need to have a parade in Jerusalem, specifically after they have marched in several other cities in Israel, it tells me that they themselves are not comfortable enough in their own skin and their own status. They must be "in the face" of the rest of the presumed intolerant population, in a city that is holy to all religions. Because if there is a parade that divides the city, and starts civil and religious war, people will have to notice them.

As a Jewish woman, I also don't have a great need to attend a synagogue that is egalitarian, simply because it gives women a larger role in the Orthodox ritual. I am content with my personal relationship with G-d, and I don't need the boys' club to let me in to feel better about myself spiritually, or to prove something.

We are all so busy trying to be "tolerant" and "inclusive", that we lose our internal truths. Instead of pulling over a suspicious 25 year old Muslim male in the airport, the 86 year old woman bringing donuts to her grandchildren is stripped-searched, because the cream inside the pastry might be an explosive. International travel may not be any safer, but at lease we did not offend the Arab terrorist.

The Art of Apology

2007-10-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

Regardless of race, religion and country, I believe that humans can be divided into two basic groups: those who know how to say "I'm sorry," and those for whom ego or mild psychosis prevents them from ever admitting they are wrong.

I grew up in a house where I observed both extremes of that behaviour, and I try to emulate my father's example of generally taking responsibility and apologizing in a timely manner, ie. not three days later when the argument has festered into a septic sensitive sore. This week was a test of that commitment.

Earlier in the week, I was standing in the copy shop preparing some documents for work. An elderly woman came up to me and asked "Are you done yet," when I clearly was not. Most days I would either ignore the silly question, or respond firmly and yet kindly. That day, I turned around, sneered at her, and said, "Does it look like I am done?" (I plead insomnia, I had slept less than three hours the night before.) She was both offended and intimidated, and it was only after I left the store that I felt badly about my exaggerated and belligerent behaviour. I considered going back and apologizing to this woman, but did not, and instead let myself feel guilty about it for several hours.

Sometimes you need to know when to swallow ego and the need to be right. Two days ago, a patient - obviously in pain - called to see if she could schedule an emergency appointment. I was unable to create an opening, and suggested that she see someone else while I placed her name on a Waiting List, or try palliative measures for two days and receive treatment today (Friday). We tentatively scheduled, and I assured her that as soon as there was a cancellation, I would contact her.

Yesterday, she called to remind me that she was in pain, that she would like to get an appointment as soon as possible, and to make sure that I remembered her state of suffering.
I apologized for her perception that I had been anything but accommodating and understanding, but that I truly would have seen her sooner if I could have. She hung up sounding sad and angry.

For several hours afterwards - while cooking, while swimming, while running errands - I obsessed, not about potentially losing a patient, but knowing that I had in fact done everything within the natural limit, and knowing that she was sitting at home moping about this. My perceptive house cleaner pointed out that if I was mulling over the relatively minor event to this extent, surely she was suffering as well, and I ought to call her to clear the air.

Which I did; I called her and in as kind a tone as I could muster, explained that I truly tried to see her when she had initially called, but that there are only so many hours in the day. I proceeded by emphasizing that my actions were not to be taken personally in any way, that I wish to continue to help her in the future, and I don't want "bad feelings" driving a wedge between us.

She thanked me for calling back, and I thanked her for listening. After hanging up the phone, while there was still a part of me that felt that I was compromising myself for the Greater Peace, I felt like I had faced and dealt with the consequences of the words that came out of my mouth.

And now that I have spilled all this out to you, dear reader, the obsessing ends.

Rebecca Danzig Keller, In Memoriam

2007-10-16T05:54:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday was the eighth anniversary (Yartzeit) of my grandmother's death, a woman who very much impacted my life and with whom I was quite close growing up. My mother (her eldest daughter) had suggested that we children and grandchildren do something "meaningful" to mark the day, to honor her memory.

Not coincidentally, the Universe gave me a slow Chiropractic work day, and I was able to look through letters and journal entries from the time immediately before and after her death, which in turn gave me a burst of almost overwhelming creative energy, which I used to channel into photography and creative writing.

The day of her funeral, eight years ago, I wrote the following in my journal:

"There is a whole life in this house, from large details like her car to small details like her basement office organization, her color coordinated towels, her books. How does one dismantle a life? How does one distribute and incorporate it? Everyone keeps saying that her legacy is us, her grandchildren, we are the proof that she did something worthwhile, that each of us carries her within us. Why can't she be here to see it, I feel like everyone has a time, and this was not hers.

What will people say about me when I die? What will be my legacy?"

In speaking to a friend today, a woman aware of my issues at being single and childless in my late 30's, she challenged me with that exact question: What is my legacy? Can I say that I am an inherently worthwhile and important person, regardless of the standards imposed by society or by my family? Why do I exist?

For now, I have a sufficiently unconvincing answer, with the only fact on the ground being that I EXIST. I would even venture to say that I exist for a reason, and that I have faith that the Universe and its Higher Powers generally knows what it is doing. But I cannot answer the "Why," and it terrifies me, because I am afraid that if I explore these answers and possibilities, I will not like what I find. Perhaps it will come to me in a dream.

I do, however, have an opinion on the subject, and it starts with the classic philosophical question, if a tree falls in the middle of the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? And actually, my answer to that is a definitive NO; hearing, like the other five senses humanity has been programmed with as part of their genetic package, is dependent upon relative perception. While the sound and the loss of a tree in the middle of a random forest will most definitely impact the Greater Universe - in keeping with the principles of Chaos Theory - if it has not been perceived by another, it gets lost.

To apply that theory on a micro level, I assert that I am in fact a worthwhile person, deserving of love and being in a loving relationship, and I assert that I value my own company. Ultimately, I wonder if I count, if I leave no trail behind me when I die, genetic or otherwise; if there was never one person in my life who loved me unconditionally, who wanted to be my husband and raise a child with me not out of obligation, but out of eagerness and interest and a desire to grow old with me. Surely, the heavens will cry when I leave this Earth, and somewhere in the cosmos there will be a ripple, but will any human miss me or remember me?

As a child, fame and global recognition represented my idea of meaning and legacy in life, I would not be considered a success until I had been featured on the front page of the New York Times for saving humanity, or until at least one of my works of art was hanging in the Metropolitan Museum. That template has dramatically shifted, I do not need nor want to save the world. Right now I want and need intimacy, physical and emotional, the knowledge that for at least one person on this planet, I am their first and most precious priority. You can argue that it means that I don't love myself 100%, or that I err in using an external measure of my worth, but I am human living in a society of other humans. Robinson Caruso had it much easier.

I don't know how to express or explain that feeling of total acceptance, except to say that I received that affirmation from my grandmother, and that is a large part of the reason why I miss her.

I close with a Celtic sonnet that someone read to my family when they visited the shiva house, eight years ago, and I dedicate this poem to my grandmother, and to myself, that I may have a long, fulfilling and happy life, and will have left it a better place for my being there.

Grieve not
Nor speak of me with tears
But laugh and talk of me
As though I were beside you.

I loved you so
"Twas Heaven here with you.

Get the Nobel Prize, Save the World

2007-10-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

First of all, kudos to former Vice President Al Gore, for being the first VP in history to not only win the Nobel Prize, but also an Oscar. Like other politicians before him, he has been able to turn his position and access into an asset, for the planet and its citizens; I personally hope he does not run for President in 2008, so that he may devote his time to the cause of the Gaea and her ecology. One recent report stated that after the year 2050, Planet Earth will not be habitable for humans, leaving only the roaches with their Devil Dogs as sustenance. At that point, I will G-d Willing be in my 80's and will have lived a full life, though I find it difficult to stomach that my children and grand-children will not be able to breathe the air or drink the water.

Another politician, former President Jimmy Carter is a far better ex-President, his project Habitat for Humanity has aided so many lower-middle class Americans. I do wish, however, that Carter would keep his nose out of Middle East negotiations, he already screwed Israel over once and we don't need any more "help" from the outside.

Recently, the television program "Commander in Chief" started airing in India and the Middle East, and I found their take on the possibility of a history-making female President intriguing. Clearly, Geena Davis - the star and Executive Producer -has no problem with a female in charge, as long as it is not Hilary Clinton. Bill Clinton as First Lady? Hardly. Donald Sutherland's portrayal of the gaunt, white haired, evil Republican Speaker of the House left me feeling terrified and impressed, and more determined than ever to reconsider all our choices for the next American President.

How much should shows like "Commander in Chief" or "The West Wing" influence the average American voter and the upcoming Presidential primaries? And can we really control the overwhelming and dangerous effect of the media and entertainment industry on every other aspect of society? That compartment of Pandora's Box will never be closed again, nor will the demons of politics be tamed, we can only hope that our leaders, locally and internationally, will internalize Al Gore's message, the imperative to save the planet, and therefore save humanity.

And the Award for...

2007-10-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

the World's Worst Patient is: Me! (I'd like to thank my immune system for breaking down...)

Last Thursday I felt a small irritation in my throat, and assumed it was allergies, as the transition season has arrived and I expect to suffer a little. The next day I woke up and I was congested and could not breath, and every time I blew my nose my sinuses made this bizarre creaking sound. I also became unusually clumsy, dropping things, and cutting my finger when I was cooking, and so decided that i might even be ill, above and beyond the dust in the air and the pollen count.

With the combination of good genes and Chiropractic care, I get ill very infrequently, and it can take several days before I listen to my body and rest. Always grateful when people offer to assist, I cannot help but wonder why, since I spend the entire time groaning and making my caretaker's life miserable. (I suppose it is a good thing that I am single and alone, I generally end up complaining to myself.)

I start with homeopathic remedies, and when that does not control the symptoms, I switch to the conventional fare of syrups and medicines. I have officially announced and acknowledged that I am ill when I agree to drink tea. An arm must be falling off for me to arrange a visit to the GP.

A doctor is not supposed to be ill, and sometimes my clients will seen surprised if I sneeze or blow my nose; it makes me human just like them, and it shatters the illusion that those of us in the profession of servicing human beings somehow live above the rules of nature. I see this realization as a positive step toward resetting the professional and personal boundaries in the office.

My eldest cat, Harry, has a similar love/hate relationship with his veterinarian. He will allow himself to be placed in the carrier cage, and does not complain in the car on the way to the vet's office. At the initial stages of the treatment, he submits his body to examination. But when he randomly decides that he has sufficiently amused us humans with his obedience, the doctor or his assistant may very well lose a finger or two. I am convinced that Harry is "red flagged" in their computer as a small dangerous tiger, and that they would love to automatically drug him at the beginning of the visit, if only to preserve their limbs. When we leave the office, Harry wears a Cheshire Cat grin on his face, knowing he has taken control of the situation, and that we got kicked out as quickly as possible.

Like feline, like owner.

I canceled my Pilates class today at the last minute because I remembered from my medical training (aha!) that when a person ill, the body needs to rest, and not use up its resources with rigorous exercise. I will take a shower instead, change out of the pajamas I have been living in for the last 48 hours, and prepare myself for treating patients later today, because unfortunately, my little head cold cannot get in the way of my work.

I will try not to sneeze on anyone.

Showdown at the Supermarket

2007-10-11T01:08:00.000-07:00

Or: Life in Israel, an Anecdote

Two days ago, as I entered the supermarket in the industrial area of Talpiyot, I saw a UN soldier in full uniform (gun, camouflage) standing at attention at the entrance, scanning each customer with a focused gaze. The patch on his sleeve said, "Military Observer."

I asked him what exactly he was 'observing.' He answered that he is a military observer sent by the UN to keep the peace between Israel and its neighbors. At which point we both chuckled simultaneously, and I said, "Peace, is that what they call it?"

And yet he stood there as a sentry, and alarmed, I inquired if there had been a terrorist threat for this particular area of Jerusalem. "No, I am here to do some shopping!"

Whereupon his friend arrived, also dressed in full uniform, and they walked into the store. (I am sure they will fit in very well in the produce section.)

After the Holidays

2007-10-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

In Israel, from approximately the week before Rosh Hashana through the week in which the Jewish holiday of Succot ends, you hear the phrase, "After the holidays..." As in "After the holidays, I will:
- Start my diet
- Call my literary agent
- Deal with my taxes
- Apply for jobs
- Clean out my closets
- Take the car to the garage to fix that dent
- Sit all morning in the random government office and take care of those parking tickets
- Schedule my annual medical exam

Because all citizens know that there is no point in trying to achieve closure on any procedure that demands government bureaucracy and cooperation, or any body issue that demands not eating continuously for three days in celebration of the various events at the beginning of the Jewish calendar.

This week provided a considerable challenge, that of waking up in the morning and knowing that there would be no two-day work weeks, that life resumes its "normal" pace and that the only vacation is one which you schedule yourself, one that is not mandated by religion. And yet, in the United States, consumerism rose to the challenge, by beginning its pre-Holiday (Halloween? Thanksgiving? Christmas?) sales. Wal Mart, Toys R Us and LL Bean stand out in the crowd; Toys R Us, particularly hit by the defective Chinese toy recall, stated that "Everyone can use a little Christmas right now."

Good for them, taking advantage of an economy collapsing because of George Bush's inept policies and once again I find myself saddened that the spirit of the holiday season has been lost for another year. I myself am a huge fan of Christmas carols, and challenge everyone in the holiday marketing business to listen carefully to the words of "The Little Drummer Boy," a song which encapsulates for me the true meaning of giving and receiving: it tells a story of child - the demographic targeted by the hype of the sales - who cannot afford to bring an expensive gift, and instead plays his drums, giving straight from the heart. In other words, it's not about how many presents sit under the tree, little baby Jesus isn't tallying the amount each person spent on his gift, he values love and intention.

The Jewish holiday of Chanukah, which in principle should stress the defense of core values and the receiving of miracles, has adopted the American Western value of the more presents the better, and whoever dies with the most stuff wins. Instead of one giant bonanza under the tree, we spread the spending over eight days. In my house, my parents tried to teach the importance of family and intention over commercial gain; most nights they presented us with an individual small gift, one which they thought about and tailored for each of us children. One night out of the eight, the family as a whole shared one giant expensive addition to the household, I can most vividly recall the Atari game player; who doesn't like Pong?! And for one of the nights our whole extended family got together for a party at my aunt and uncle's house in Westchester, where my grandmother talked about her childhood without family and how much we should cherish the time we spend together.

So get out those credit cards and start applying for your payment plan now, with only 75 shopping days until Christmas, items are going fast!

Cable Crash

2007-10-09T02:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, for several hours, my cable service crashed. For several hours I had no television, nor did I have an Internet connection. No email, no web surfing or downloading, no mind-numbing TV programs.

What is a technology addicted 21rst Century human to do?

This human sat on her porch and ate dinner while the stars came out. And then she read a good book with a purring feline on her lap.

Could be worse, and it wouldn't be such a bad thing if it happened every once in a while.

Rabbis, Reiki, Idol Worship and Wall Street

2007-10-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

Or: "Sea Monkeys Invade New York, Possessed Wigs Attack Unsuspecting Heads"

I received today from a colleague an online article about an Ultra Orthodox Rabbi named Yitzchak Fanger, who had previously held the titles of Reiki Master and Buddhist Priest. The article describes his vision quest to India after the army - a typical journey for many non-religious Israelis - where he discovered spirituality and religion (someone else's religion), and after a series of non-coincidental miraculous events, returned to religious Judaism and Israel and to his family.

I am of course pleased for him that he has found satisfaction with his life and has reconciled with his upbringing, but have issue with his rejection of his Reiki training. He tells the story of his million dollar Reiki clinic, and how one day a group of Ultra Orthodox women wished to study with him, and insisted upon a "Certificate of Kashrut" (The Rabbi Stamp of Approval) before they could begin the class. He went to his local Rabbinic Authority, and this supposed community leader told Fanger that not only would he not issue any Certificate of Approval, but that Mr. Fanger must close his clinic immediately - the source of income for him and his entire family - because the teachings and techniques of Reiki were based in Idol Worship.

The now born-again Rabbi Fanger complied immediately, and concludes his interview by saying that he now has six children who are worth more than any of the money he made as a Reiki Master helping clients, and that his life as an Ultra Orthodox Rabbi gives him everything he needs. (Because now someone else is footing the bill...)

I performed half of my Chiropractic internship with the Ojibwe/First Nation (that's American Indians to the politically incorrect), and they told me a story about the four original peoples who were placed on this planet by a Higher Power: the White, the Yellow, the Black and the Red. Each was given a heritage of healing which specifically addressed the energies and the history of their color, so to speak, and only recently have the medicines and their techniques become mixed.

I have always operated under the credo taught to me by one of my first mentors in Chiropractic School, "more tools for the toolbox": the more I study and the more techniques I gather into my consciousness and daily routine, the more I can help each person who comes into my office. When I work on a patient, I use up to eight different systems, both Western and Eastern, thus providing a more complete and effective treatment that last longer than traditional care. I don't need a Rabbi, untrained in medicine and in the real world, to tell me what I can and cannot provide for my clients, especially since he would probably tell me to stop treating men, as they insist that it is improper for a woman to be alone with a man and touch him. Never mind that I am a doctor, a professional, and never mind that my father, also a Chiropractor, takes care of the wife of the Bostonner Rebbe, and her husband doesn't seem to have a problem with them being alone in a room for treatment.

Several years ago, a group of Rabbis in America declared that natural hair wigs - worn extensively by Ultra Orthodox women and costing up to $3000 a pop - could not be worn because some of the hair came from Indian women, who practice Idol Worship in their own religion, thus their hair was tainted and impure. All over the world, a flurry of wig burnings ensued, with families who cannot afford to feed and clothe their children burning these items of Evil, and buying synthetic wigs in their place. The Jewish wig merchants with their Certificates of Kashrut certainly did well on that venture.

Until the Rabbis recanted and decided that if anyone had not yet burned their wigs, they need not. And to fill the void and to fill certain merchant's pockets, they instead declared that the water in New York was contaminated with microscopic lobster derivative bugs, and that all proper Jews must immediately buy a high end water filter system (from a proper Jewish vendor, of course) to eliminate the dreaded impurity. Upon which Ultra Orthodox seminaries, largely supported by external donations so the men can sit and learn all day while their wives work several jobs, installed the best systems possible, and happily their Talmudic students are no longer infected by micro-organisms that only their spiritual and religious mentors can see.

To quote Alanis Morisette, "It's all about the money." (It's all about the dumb, dumb dumbe de dumb.)

Religion does indeed fill the need of controlling the masses, and the rich historical heritage of despots, cult leaders and con men can be proud of the application of their theories among the Ultra Orthodox.

Adolescent Invulnerability

2007-10-01T04:59:00.000-07:00

When I started college, I represented a typical 18 year old high school graduate; which means that I was depressed, so ready to get out of my parents' house, invulnerable and idealistic, and of course, knew everything and was ready to conquer the world and save it from itself.

Now I know better.

All truth has 1,000 facets, and we as news consumers and citizens of the planet will never reveal the full story. Sadly, the Jerusalem Post lags behind the times.

In response to the Iranian President's speech at Columbia, they featured several op ed pieces, including a "recent high school graduate," who in his infinite wisdom and life experience, declared the lecture a victory for Democracy; Lee Bollinger, in his infantile and CYA* introduction, hurt the feelings of the anti-Semite Holocaust denying Jihadist politician. Score one for the good guys, said the man-child in his superficial piece, Bush's Axis of Evil is really smarting from having the opportunity to use the very gifts that Freedom of Speech offers, in order to further his own agenda. The author of this editorial did not actually attend the speech, nor was he even standing on American soil at the time it occurred.

I omit this Jewish boy's name - and I use the term "boy" in the kindest sense of the word - to spare him the embarrassment of coming off as a naive patsy.

In truth, the Jerusalem Post - a supposedly objective internationally circulated yellow rag - should be embarrassed for providing a forum which expresses under-researched "news," and then claims the moral high ground while they regularly align themselves with the Israeli political right.

The medium is the message, and this message reaffirms that we Israelis don't know how to protect ourselves, from ourselves.

*CYA = Cover Your Ass. He couldn't un-invite the man, so he insulted him instead.

With Friends Like These

2007-09-24T23:18:00.000-07:00

The Boston Globe Columnist, James Carroll suggested in his editorial that it would be a warm and fuzzy moment for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to stand in unity - while he dances a little victory jig in his head - with Americans and international leaders at Ground Zero, and Carroll questioned the decision to forbid Ahmadinejad's visit there. "This new insult reinforces him at home...What if, instead of shunting Ahmadinejad aside as one unworthy to enter the sanctuary of our national trauma, we Americans had said, 'Yes, stand here with us.' " Carroll concludes by laying blame squarely at George Bush's feet, for turning Americans into a nation of victims and for desecrating holy ground.

Given the opportunity to speak at Columbia University, Ahmadinejad played the "Israel card," blaming this small country for all tension between his country and Israel, all tension in the Middle East and its resulting Tsunami on the rest of the planet. Apparently, he is merely misunderstood in his motives, for example, when he is accused of being a Holocaust denier; what he meant to say was that historical accounts should be questioned, that truth is only as good as the people who survive to tell the story. As Shmuel Rosner pointed out in Haaretz today, "For months, Israel worked to block what happened on the podium yesterday. For the duration of his speech, Ahmadinejad produced a televised illusion: It is not Iran versus the world, but Iran versus Israel...If he manages to convince enough people of this, the mirage would be come reality and Israel would be isolated." That is exactly what Ahmadinejad and his Arab cronies want.

Let us not neglect the Neturei Karta, a Holocaust denier Ultra Orthodox Jewish sect, who gave a warm welcome when the Iranian President arrived in New York. They also came out in active defense of the anti Semitic Ahmadinejad, saying that he is a "deeply religious man, who is committed to world peace based upon mutual respect, decency and dialogue." (AP) Right...

How is the Israeli Prime Minister responding to these outlandish and aggressive attacks on Israel and the Jews? In fact, he is not, because he is once again embroiled in the police attempt to investigate Olmert's shady real estate dealings and the corruption within his office. Other Members of Knesset have called for Olmert's immediate resignation, given the extent of the criminal charges. Surely getting caught and convicted is more important than the very existence of the State of Israel.

To complete the cliche, with friends like these, who needs enemies. They can stand by and watch us devour each other from within.

Checking In on the Old Country

2007-09-22T22:58:00.000-07:00

Money is the hot topic in the paper today, the slide of the dollar, how it affects the European Union, how it affects the billionaires on the 2007 Forbes List.

According to the International Herald Tribune, the euro traded above $1.40 for the first time, and the Canadian dollar climbed back to parity with the US dollar for the first time in 30 years. The dollar is worth less than ever before in this age of flexible exchange rates, and it has declined faster under George W. than under any president since the end of the gold standard in 1971.

And show some sympathy for the 82 US billionaires, who did not make the cut on the Forbes roundup of the 400 richest Americans: the price for inclusion (because of the weakening of the dollar) rose from One billion to $1.3 billion dollars, and most of the newbies on the list made their fortunes from the Internet, or Wall Street.

My parents, like many other Americans, started living the inflated lifestyle - along with its many expenses - in the 1980's, during the Reagan boom. Lots of PI (personal injury) cases, and lots of generous insurance policies that paid for Chiropractic patients to come as often as they wanted. Today, my parents work three times as hard as they used to, have to fill out three times as many forms as they used to, and get paid a third of what they used to receive. Yet the accumulated debt and commitments remain, like the repairs and expansion done to the kitchen in the last year, like the expansion of one of their Chiropractic offices, and like my youngest brother's private college tuition.

Speaking of college, Columbia University (my Alma mater, class of 1991) has resisted pressure to cancel a speaking engagement on campus by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a surprising move given CU President Lee Bollinger's recent initiative to confront the British boycott of Israeli academic institutions and its esteemed professors. In my time at Columbia, there were certainly several controversial visitors - most notably Louis Farrakhan - but a basic respect of all communities (Jewish, black, Islamic, etc) within the community existed. A Holocaust denier (Ahmadinejad) who has publicly and internationally declared open war upon the Zionist entity and Jews everywhere, a President who boasts of the development of a nuclear program and his intentions to use it, a Muslim who plans on visiting Ground Zero for the purpose of rejoicing in the death of the ugly Americans and spitting on the graves of those who died; he should not be allowed on the campus, never mind into the country.

The last time I visited the US, I felt a certain cloud of paranoia and fatigue; people working too hard and earning less, not spending enough time with their families and without the assurance of safety and dominance that the Americans once enjoyed. Since the start of George Bush's presidency, the United States has lost its respect and footing not only within its borders but with its former international allies. No one wants to align themselves with a currency that pulls the rest of the markets down into a spiral, or with an administration that sends soldiers to die in not one but two losing arenas (Afghanistan and Iraq). Just because we believe Democracy is a model worth adapting and striving toward, does not mean that the template works in the Middle East. I don't recall the Iraqi people applying to become one of the "enlightened."

All that remains is rich fodder that Bush continually provides for the late night talk show hosts, and for the Democrats to whomp anyone the Republicans put up for candidacy in the next American Presidential election.

Yes, in some ways Israel behaves like a Third World Country, Lord knows I would like to be paying less taxes and I would like to see some direct representation and accountability of the Prime Minister and the members of the Knesset toward its citizens. But I enjoy a good quality of life, I am able to see my patients without the bureaucracy of insurance filing and I set my own hours.

I have automatic health coverage, and some day when I have children, their education will be heavily subsidized from nursery through university. As for the long lists of shopping I used to do in the States, most of what I need I can find here in Israel, and for about the same price as I would pay if I had gone to CVS. Finally, there is a sense here of one extended family that I have not felt anywhere else in the world.

For now, America may be a nice place to visit, but I would not want to live there.

Daily Routines

2007-09-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

When I run out of new books to read, which happens frequently in my house, I return to several favorites, and have recently re-read The Little Prince by Antione De Saint-Expupery (known as Saint - Ex to his friends). Every time I read this book, I notice another line, another description that speaks to me in a way that I had not noticed the last 100 times I read the book. This particular version of the book is special to me as well, it was once part of my grandmother's library and she had marked off various passages that spoke to her; when I read this and come across her notation, I feel that she is with me in the room.

Around page 39, Saint-Ex describes the Little Prince's daily routine on his small planet:

"He carefully swept his active volcanoes. He possessed two active volcanoes and they were very convenient for heating his breakfast in the morning. He also had a volcano which was extinct. But as he pointed out: 'You never know!' So he also cleaned out the extinct volcano...The little prince tore up...the last little baobab shoots...and watered the flower, and then prepared to place her under her glass dome."

The book itself presents a parable of love and attachments, and the importance of appreciating what and who you have in your life. If I were to document my standard morning, it would go something like this:

"She woke up before her alarm, because there was a 14 pound cat sitting and purring on her chest. All attempts to read the morning paper were in vain. She gave her cats T-U-N-A and then fed the street cats outside, who waited not so patiently for their breakfast. Then the water in the bowls needed to be changed, and the excess water was given to the little plant on the porch. The computer, turned on, was checked for email and spam, and then she set up the files for her office that day, before taking a superficial shower. The more substantial shower was to be taken after the one kilometer swim."

We humans revel in our routine, the safety of knowing that certain things must be done, that certain actions recur consistently day after day. I experience a certain peace in waking up in my own bed and running through my morning without thought; and yet, there should be days where responsibility can be chucked out the window, where the world does not collapse into chaos if you switch things around a little, ignore a few items on the list.

It seems I must acquire that skill set, although at the end of The Little Prince, he abandons his quest in the desert and returns to his flower, to his planet and to his beloved chores.

Perhaps he took his cue from TS Eliot, who wrote:

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started,
And know the place for the first time.

Rosh HaShanah Thoughts

2007-09-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

In my head, I imagine the following encounter, and no, this is not the wind-up for a joke:

A Muslim, a Christian and a Jew all die around the same time, and are brought into the room with the Big Kahuna, to review the accomplishments of their lives.

They all immediately start clamoring, asking "Was I right?"

G-d asks them in return, "What do you mean? What do you think it means to be 'right?'"

And the Muslim justifies his actions of jihad by citing the Koran, and the Christian justifies his actions based upon the New Testament, and the Jew justifies his actions based upon the Torah. After all, in order for each to be right, the others must be wrong.

G-d laughs, and explains, when all three fail to understand, their faces fallen and confused.

Each of us is born into a specific set of conditions, a particular color of the skin, a particular race and religion; a two parent home, a single parent home, an orphan; wealthy or poor, educated or uneducated; healthy or sickly and weak. In each lifetime we live, every reincarnation, our temporary existence on planet Earth is meant to teach us something, to refine our soul. If we don't learn the necessary lessons this time around, and live a life of regret and waste, we come back, again and again. Our Karma will most certainly bite us on the Gluteus Maximus. And once we have almost achieved the pinnacle of our understanding, we choose to return to Earth not as punishment, but as a facilitator, to help along others who might need some nudging.

The Universal Power created all human souls, and all the intelligence in the world of Nature, and all the phenomenon that we cannot see nor possibly understand fully. We are all equally loved and all equally expected to (quote Spike Lee), "Do the Right Thing."

Here lies the essential question, after your current term in this collection of life experience, did you leave the world a slightly better place than when you entered? Did you treat all people and all living beings on the planet - most importantly, yourself - with honor and respect? When you woke up in the morning, could you look yourself in the mirror, or were you ashamed of your activities and behaviours of the previous day? Did you take full advantage of the gifts and strengths that you were granted, and did you actively work on your weaknesses?

Did you lead a life balanced between service and joy?

I wish everyone a sweet, happy and healthy New Year.

Peace out, and Stay Super.

Mixed Signals, Epilogue

2007-09-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

This morning, when driving home from the pool, the road without a name had some new subtle additions: a bright traffic yellow line painted at both the entrance and the exit to the street. No hi-tech invisible field stopping cars from actually driving on the road, just two bright yellow lines at its beginning and end. And in case the driver could not figure out the meaning, there were two smallish signs posted at either side of the the entrance, saying "No passage."

What surprises me most is the seeming ignorance of the Jerusalem Municipality, as regards the standard operating behaviour of most Israelis; mainly, they must build a tall physical barrier at both ends, and they must post a police officer there to give out tickets to every single driver who violates the law of the yellow line.

Despite the sign, despite the theoretical knowledge that the road should be closed off, we Israeli drivers - and I include myself in this category - will continue to use this road. This route has been a part of our daily commute for so long, that we follow the path without thinking. No one wants to add an extra ten minutes to their daily routine, I personally want to get home the most efficient way possible, and unless someone stops us, the status quo remains.

Positive Parenting

2007-09-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on my porch today, when one of my cats (Sarel "Runs Like Rabbit") jumped down into the garden. A few minutes later, I saw him eating something, along with a little girl and her mother standing by and watching quietly. Assuming that not everyone understands a cat's nutritional needs, I asked the little girl what she had fed him, and she answered, "Leftover chicken." Proteins are fine for cats, though they prefer it raw and I can't vouch for the recipe her mother had used; I thanked her on behalf of my cat, who was busy scarfing down the unexpected treat.

The little girl, a confident and friendly five or six year old, seeing that I was officially owned by Sarel, explained that she had seen him touring the neighborhood, and was wondering why he didn't have a tail like other cats. I told her the story of how I found him (run over), how he had surgery and not only lived through it, but has thrived significantly since. She then said that she liked feeding cats on the street, she liked sharing their family's food. The whole time, her mother stood by, observing our conversation, and I can only assume that it was her mother who packed the bag of leftovers for her daughter to distribute.

I have witnessed other occasions, most specifically the children of the Ultra Orthodox set, shouting, throwing rocks and kicking street cats, or dogs whose owners have let them out for some fresh air. Apparently the theory states that cats and other common household pets are not "Kosher" (Edible for religious Jews) and therefore cannot be owned, and nor should they be treated with any respect as a living being. Because G-d created all beings, but those that do not stand on two legs and can understand the Torah, and are worthy of being consumed, deserve less.

When I go out to feed the street cats in my area, I often pass an older Israeli man, who thanks me for showing these animals kindness, and will bless me and say, "A person who treats animals with love has love in their heart for all beings." Those who abuse animals most probably don't treat their human counterparts much better.

I can only hope that when I have children, they turn out like this sweet, loving girl I met today, in the way that she treats both human and feline; her parents have obviously given her a proper education, and I commend them for it.

Civilized Anti-Semitism

2007-08-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has watched the movie "Borat" will acknowledge that within its humor lies the deeper lesson which Sasha Baron Cohen wishes to portray: inside every civilized American is an anti-Semite, just waiting to get society's permission to express his/her true beliefs, those beliefs they share with their bar buddies or their families, those statements that are not politically correct to be heard by the general public.

I love to travel, and as much as I enjoy seeing new places, I look forward even more to meeting people of a different culture and background, and finding that common ground in a brief discussion, or over a cup of coffee. When I used to take the Shuttle between New York and Boston in college, I would often find myself in conversation with the passenger next to me, sharing life stories and exposing skeletons in closets; I have that kind of face and give off that kind of energy, I suppose, the billboard that says, "tell me your stories, I will listen."

For today, I want to focus on several incidents that were less pleasurable, and reminded me that wherever I go in the world, there is someone who hates me or misunderstands me simply because I was born into the Jewish nation, and live in the Jewish homeland. It stands as an important lesson for all of us, that in this enlightened and civilized age, old hatred runs deep.

In my first week at Chiropractic school (1993), during orientation, one man in particular repeatedly approached me, not to speak to me but to gaze at my forehead. After several uncomfortable moments, I asked him why he stared at me so intently, and he answered simply, "I am looking for your horns." He had grown up on a farm in the middle of Canada, and had never met a Jew before, and could not understand why I did not resemble Satan. I patiently explained the origin of the myth of the horns, quoting to him the passage in the Old Testament that described Moses' ray of lights, beaming from his face after he had his encounter with G-d and received the Ten Commandments. I also explained that the modern reference derives itself from the sculpture of Moses in Rome, the artist could not have free standing marble rays of light, and so attached them to the most likely and easiest area, the forehead. This fellow student ended up becoming a close friend, we worked as volunteers in an Ojibwe/First Nation (Indians, for the politically incorrect) clinic together, and all it took was a bit of education.

I won two tickets to Switzerland from a chocolate contest, and my friend and I went to that stunning country for one week (2001). On the train in Grindelwald, we presented our tickets and passports to one of the conductors; he looked at our two passports - One Israeli and One American, but issued in Jerusalem - nodded his head and as he walked off, clicked his heals together and did the "Sieg Heil" motion with his arm. I reacted immediately, and said to my friend, "He just Hitlered us!" But she did not see it and we dismissed it at the time.

Later, my friend and I were in Zurich on an English tour of Chagall windows in a Protestant Church. Of the five windows, four had completely Old Testament content, and only one window portrayed Jesus in any way. The guide said at one point, "And here we see the Jewish window, called so because it is dominated by the Jewish color, yellow." Not wanting to display immediate belligerence, I raised my hand and asked politely, "Though I am not aware of any official Jewish color, wouldn't you think the colors would be blue and white, the colors of the Israeli flag?" She replied that I knew nothing about art, and that the Jewish color was most definitively yellow.

Inspired by one of my all time favorite movies, "Field of Dreams," I stood up, called her a "Nazi Cow," and for the sake of the rest of the group, explained that the Nazi's assigned yellow stars to the Jews, before they exterminated them; and that the Swiss ought to know, because they got rich during WWII by stealing the Jews' money. And that I in fact had a degree in art and art history. No one in the tour group seemed shocked or surprised, and I thought at the time that a few people were thinking what I dared to speak aloud.

In Istanbul (1998), on a tour of a Sultan's palace, the Turkish guide made several minor anti-Semitic statements. My friend Ami, unable to hold herself back, asked the guide about the Turks' role in the Crusades, and about their occupation of the land we now call Israel; the man answered that he had no idea what she was talking about, and that she ought to go back and study her history.

This past week in Jordan (2007), Ali the Petra guide kept speaking about the Nabateans and the Fertile Crescent, mentioning every country along the ancient Spice Route except Israel. Ed, the American Jew from Philadelphia sitting next to me inquired Ali about this omission after it appeared several times, and Ali answered that technically, Israel did not exist then. Neither did Jordan, technically, but never mind.

History is told by those who survive it, and contrary to the belief proliferated by the Nazis, the facts do not change if you tell the lie enough times. Anti-Semitism, alive and well in our lifetime and only growing stronger, cannot be tolerated. We must all be on guard to protect our heritage and our history, and to not misconstrue the facts to suit political purposes.

Wadi Rum (Day Two)

2007-08-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

A Story from the Koran: Muhamed ascended to chat with G-d, to ask the Ultimate Almighty Being how the new religion of Islam should be structured. They spoke, and on the way down, Muhamed bumped into the other prophets, Moses, Jesus and Father Abraham. This auspicious group asked Muhamed, "Nu, so what does your new religion have in store for its people?" Muhamed answered, "They must pray 50 times a day."

The other prophets immediately told Muhamed to return and negotiate that stipulation, that no normal human would stick with that kind of demand, that they would get nothing done. And so Muhamed returned with the more reasonable number of five times a day.

(Of course, Muhamed could have mentioned in the Koran that the Muezzin should not start at 4:30 in the morning in a five star hotel called the Taybet Zemen, where certain non Muslim guest are trying to sleep...)

Other things I learned from Ali2 about the Koran and Muhamed:

1. A woman experiencing her "Monthly Secret" [whispered the way people talk about cancer] does not do Ramadan, does not pray, cannot even touch a copy of the Koran. Nor do most woman in most situations, they pretty much get a free pass from the fasting. A man can buy Ramadan points by giving charity to poor people, or by organizing a prayer group.
2. Muslims do not use toilet paper, they must wash out their bodies on the inside with water every time, and they must wash their hands a special way afterwards. They also must shower immediately after having sex.
3. They can have up to four wives, but must treat each wife with "fairness." Which means that a husband must juggle his household with "White Lies." (Ali2's words, not mine) and give all his wives the same gifts.
4. The Koran has answers to every problem that has occurred and that will occur. The text covers physics and space and genetics, and solved the baby switching problem in the US during the Reagan presidencies.
5. Gosh Darnit, why haven't we all converted to Islam? It's such a terrific religion and it respects everyone!

All issues of Ali2's [another guide, also named Ali] proselytising aside, I spent a wonderful day in the Wadi Rum Desert Basin. The color of the sand, the crystal clear blue of the sky, the overwhelming natural beauty of the rock formations, ancient stone carving from the Nabatean and Stone age. We saw it, we walked it, we jeeped it, we built a fire in a cave and had a simple Middle Eastern lunch. When we ran out of specific places to see along the ancient Spice Route, we went on a dune buggy adventure in his 4 x 4, a mini roller coaster ride.

Ali2 also shared ancient Bedouin desert cures and survival skills. We had many discussions throughout the day, including topics of Middle East politics, which I elicited on purpose. He slipped once and called my homeland "Palestine," but otherwise remained quite respectful and open to the idea of peace. He doesn't like Hezbollah any more than I do, they are in his words, "animals."

My guide is quite an interesting man: wife(teacher), five children aged 18-3 years old, degree in Chemistry, served in the UN army in war torn Yugoslavia for a year. The man barely sipped water the entire day in the heat of the desert, instead at every brief stop he lit up a cigarette. Ali said he is planning on using the period of Ramada to quit for good. At least he did not smoke at all near me or in the jeep, though he only used the AC at the end of the day trip, arghh. We did some mounting climbing, me in my hiking sneakers and him in flip-flops, he is definitely part mountain goat.

Funny story, we were at a location called the bridge, a huge natural archway carved out of the stone by water during the flood season, and one of Ali's friends came over to say hello. Ali said (in Arabic) that I was a doctor, and this man shows me his ankle, full of burns. Ali explained to me that this man sprained his ankle, and the Bedouin way of treating sprains and fractures is to rub a special concoction of olive oil on the area, and then burn it. I told Ali to explain to his friend that not only am I a doctor who specializes in this area, but that I myself experienced a bad sprain a month ago, and that he should have done rehab and ultra sound instead. I end up giving a medical consult to a random Arab in the middle of the Wadi.

Moral of the Story: You can't escape your destiny, not in a foreign country where you don't speak the language, even on vacation.
Another Moral of the Story: Can I now write off this Petra trip as a Chiropractic business expense?

Photos cannot capture the sandstorms I witnessed on this trip. The phenomenon seem to appear out of nowhere and to be moved and motivated by nothing visible, except perhaps a will and magic of their own. On the drive to Acquba at the end of the day, a sandstorm literally crossed the highway, writhing in various smoky forms, but with purpose. I commented to Ali that it reminds me of the story of the genie, emerging from its bottle. Which started a whole new discussion about the Koran's view of angels, genies, spirits and the like. Each nation has good genies and bad genies, that speak the mother tongue of their chosen country. And a genie will only hurt you if you hurt them, kind of like killer sharks. Good to know, next time you throw a stone into the air, or a piece of garbage on the ground, you could be pissing off a genie.

Never mind Ali2, the point is that all aspects of nature have a soul of their own, and I absolutely learned and experienced proof of that in the past two days.

The return to Acquba and the border crossing were easy and uneventful; I have to compliment the tour company, I had an escort from beginning to end, right back to the door of the hotel in Eilat where I slept overnight. When I arrived at the hotel, a small kitten immediately gravitated toward me, sat on my (sweaty) lap, and purred itself to sleep; yet more reinforcement that I cannot truly escape my identity and destiny.

Final thought question: Why does Ali2 - Arab parents, born and bred in Jordan - speak English with an Irish brogue? And why can neither Ali properly pronounce the word, "investment"?

(End of Part II)

Petra (Day One)

2007-08-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

Fact: There is a small village in Israel called Shittim.

My guide picked me up from my hotel in Eilat around seven am, and we crossed over the border at the Yitzchak Rabin crossing into the Duty Free zone of Acquba, Jordan. Myself and 19 other English speakers began an adventure in the desert. Technically, two of the members of our group live in Italy, two in Singapore, four in England, five in Israel and the rest in the United States. Including a pregnant Jewish woman from LA, who walked all the day in the sun, and whom the guide kept hoping would give birth in Petra at some point during the tour. ("We give your baby Jordanian citizenship.")

Our guide for the first day, Ali, gave us a thorough history of Jordan as a Kingdom and as a political entity, and just in case one would forget the current ruler of the Hashemite Kingdom, approximately every five feet, in both the cities and on the highways, some photo of King Hussein, past and present, appeared. The King in formal wear, the King in military wear, the King with his now dead (1999) father, the King with his wife and children. Ali explained that the nation loves their ruler, and that the photos show how powerful he has become since he ascended the throne. I look at this display and interpret it as insecurity, much in the same way that every house car and dog had an American flag wrapped around themselves after 9/11; if you create a fantasy and hit everyone over the head with a hammer with the message, maybe someone will believe it.

The city of Acquba boasts the largest free flying flag on the planet. This composite flag which represents the successful revolution against the Ottoman Empire, can be seen across the road so to speak in Eilat, and makes so much noise that it disturbs the sleep of those 100,000 port workers who live nearby.

Approximately two hours later, we arrived at Petra, and began a six hour hike in the most naturally beautiful canyons and Nabatean/Roman ruins. Words cannot do it justice, you will have to wait for me to post the photos. For fans of Indiana Jones, there is indeed a dramatic moment, when you round the corner in the canyon and come upon the Treasury Building seen in the movie, though our group did not find any treasure there that day. Also impressive are the rows of the Royal Tombs, carved into the cliffs, each in the style of the various civilizations that inhabited the site.

The taxis in the area, the camels and donkeys, seemed hot and tired and overworked to me, though I may be anthropomorphising these beasts of burdens. Ali assured me that their masters treat them well and feed them regularly. I was also slightly concerned at the very young children herding the taxis and selling jewelry; Ali assured me again that it is Jordanian law that all children go to school, and that the school year starts next week.

After a Middle Eastern style lunch, we were given two hours to return to our starting point, the Petra visitor's center, marked by two giant portraits of the Kings Hussein. I wandered back with my Singapore friends, Meg and Beng, and we took horses for the last 300 meters uphill, the heat had become overwhelming, but we Tigers (the name of our group) made it, albeit sweaty and exhausted.

Of note, Petra is located in Wadi Musa, named after the Jewish Prophet Moses, whom the Muslims seem to revere almost as much as their own prophet Muhamed. Throughout the day, Ali kept referring to the "Prophet Moses", and pointing out various springs in the desert named after him as well. Ali also taught me something I did not know: the Dome of the Rock is not in fact the place where Muhamed ascended, but the rock brought from the very spot in the desert where Moses had the whole burning bush discussion, he and G-d.

I came to learn much more about Muhamed and the Koran on the second day...

The evening was spent at the Taybet Zeman hotel, an entire Arab village near Wadi Rum which was converted to a five star hotel. This hotel has entire complex of shops bars and restaurants, a Turkish bath, a Heliport and a swimming pool. My room faced a stunning view of the mountains, including the mountain on which Aaron (Moses' brother, another revered figure in Arab culture) is supposedly buried. The suites are outfitted with the finest accessories and the gardens are beautifully manicured. Every time you breathe, some staff member asks if you need anything. If you ever find yourself near Petra, there is only one hotel in which to stay. (Not an official endorsement.)

And it was the best shower I have taken in a long time.

(End of Part I)

One Politician's Priorities

2007-08-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Let's all sign a collective sigh for our sad Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert. He wanted to take a vacation with his family in a private villa in Northern Italy, and his security team decided that it would be too dangerous for him, and that the extra security would cost Israeli taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars. To quote the newspaper Haaretz, "that's the last thing he needs right now." Here he was, doing us Israeli taxpayers a favor, by choosing not to travel and relax within his own country, because he did not want to inconvenience the standard Israeli family on vacation.

Sigh. (Tear drops fall from my eyes in sympathy for his plight.)

Last week, one of the cars in this same Prime Minister's security motorcade, ran over a ten year old girl at a cross walk. It was not the car in which the PM himself was sitting, his security entourage scurried the girl off to Hadassah Hospital, and only told the Big Man that they almost killed one of his constituents when he was safe in his home. After all, Olmert need not be bothered with the little people and the small details. The girl is currently listed as being in "Moderate Condition," which means that she may only lose a limb or two.

I am overwhelmed by the accountability our PM feels for us lowly citizens.

When Olmert started his serious political career as Mayor of Jerusalem, he spent more time outside the country than taking care of the filth issues, the poverty problems and the crime statistics in the Holy City. He has great friends in high places all over the world, because while he was being wined and dined in the international setting, he handed over the running of Jerusalem to the Ultra-Religious politicos, who then ran the city into the ground.

As Prime Minister, he continually blurts out gaffes which show the gap between his understanding of and commitment to the Israeli citizens he is meant to represent. Like the time he announced to the world that we in fact have nuclear capability, a secret every other PM in history has officially kept from our Arab neighbors. Like the time he announced, during the war last summer, that this is the best time to give away more land and evict more Jews from their homes, because the Gaza pullout worked out so well. Like the time he told a bunch of teenagers at a high school that the government was not working all that hard to return the three MIAs, because "they were probably dead already anyway."

And way to show sensitivity by telling Holocaust survivors that they would receive an extra "life changing" $20 per month, when most of them are living in poverty and ill health, with no support from their family. Imagine a group of people almost exterminated by the Nazis, being told by their Jewish Prime Minister that he 'worked really hard' and 'gave it a lot of thought' and 'pushed for their benefit,' for an extra $20 a month. Disgraceful, that same amount of money would not buy Olmert one of his illegal Cuban cigars.

The two major parties, Likud and Labour, have hand picked new party leaders with the express purpose of ousting Olmert once and for all, trouncing his Kadima party in the next election. As far as I am concerned, Olmert needs to resign now, before the full release of the Winograd Report on his inadequacies during the war, and before he can do any more damage.

PM Olmert, while you are confined to your home during your vacation, instead of mingling with celebrities and heads of state in Italy, here are some projects you can attempt to resolve, while you still have the power and position to do so. (There will be a test at the end of the week.):

1. Three missing MIAs, no visible activity to get them home, dead or alive. Whatever happened to the Israeli ethic of leaving no soldier behind?
2. Over a million and a half children below the poverty line, not to mention the spade of children dying in cars this summer, because of lack of social services and proper education. Pay attention to the next generation.
3. Jerusalem, the capital of Israel and holy to all religions, is one of the dirtiest and poorest cities in the entire country. Shame on us.
4. Almost all of your top officials and advisers have already been convicted of crimes and corruption, or are on their way to prison. How about some staff changes?
5. The probable war between Israel and Syria, are we at all ready for another attack from outside and within our borders?

Israel has also exhibited a lack of initiative in highlighting and helping to prevent anti-Semitism around the world. We are meant to be a beacon for Jews, who must be able to feel that they have a homeland, a safe haven. Only 2% of the population [with a margin of error of plus/minus 3%!] respects this current administration, hardly the confidence needed to bring Jews to Israel, and to help its citizens feel secure from the threats surrounding us.

Ode to Felines

2007-08-13T03:13:00.000-07:00

I come to praise the domesticated cat, not to throw a cup of water over his head. (Shakespeare)

If you have the opportunity to put your ear to the stomach of a purring cat, I highly recommend that you do so. That rumbling, content sound is the energy of the Universe, at peace.

I have had cats in the house since childhood - Oreo and Harold, of blessed memory, and Kitty, who disappeared to parts unknown with her boyfriend - and when I imagined my life as a "grown-up," there was never a question that felines would comprise a central part of that picture. A bit over five years ago, my friend Nili took in an intelligent, verbal, pregnant cat, who then gave birth to five healthy kittens; Nili was willing to keep the mother, but could not keep the litter, and I inherited the alpha male of her kittens, whom I named Harry after my previous cat.

(I am a good Ashkenazi Jew, naming children after lost and beloved relatives. My grandmother named the orginal animal Harold after a human professor and friend at Brown University.)

Harry, a tiger striped British Tabby with piercing green eyes, started out as a house cat, until he accidentally fell off the balcony from the third floor and discovered the garden and an entire territory over which he could rule. But I am his human mother since the age of one month, I donned the "Gloves of Malice" to teach him to fight; he still "milks" me as a massage, grooms himself while sitting next to me, speaks to me on a regular basis and sometimes gets so happy to see me, he drools. Those who dislike cats, claiming that they are a selfish and unfriendly bunch, have not been owned by them, and have not felt the unconditional love and sense of purpose that flows generously and continuously.

While Harry resents the home office, because it takes away attention that he should be receiving, he will often come into the treatment room and warm a patient's stomach, because he instinctively feels that cat therapy will only enhance the results for this particular Chiropractic client.

Before Harry had his small surgery, he had a brief window to flex his fatherhood muscles and helped conceive a kitten who looks eerily like him, and shares the same birthmark on the inside of his mouth. This kitten lived on the street for almost a year, and I found him one evening, run over by a car, his tail literally flattened (like in the cartoons) and his hip broken. Having no intention other than to save him - or have the vet put him out of his misery - I rushed him to an emergency veterinary clinic, where he received orthopaedic surgery, and had his tail removed. Two weeks later, after coaxing from the vet ("Who else will take in a cat with no tail?"), Sarel joined the family.

Sarel has never gotten over the insecurity of living on the street, and so he has destroyed several pieces of quality furniture, and must sample any food being eaten or prepared. He camps out in my suitcase when I pull it out to pack -to prevent me from leaving, of course - and gets asthma when he nervous and feeling confined. Just the rustling of a plastic bag sends him into a panic attack. Because he lived on the street, he is the more friendly of the two, and has brought the complication of street cats into my life: Sarel adopted a gold-eyed ginger tiger striped street kitten from birth, now a fully grown cat. While this cat is afraid of me, he eagerly accepts food from me and has begun to come closer to me when I leave the house, much like the taming of the fox in The Little Prince. This cat has also found a way to sneak into the house at night and eat their higher quality food, and I have been forced to find creative solutions to keep him out.

Before you call me a Crazy Cat Lady, or tell me that it is my fault if I have indeed fed cats on the street, allow me to explain why I have chosen to regularly leave piles of street cat food where they congregate: after Hurricane Katarina, and after giving money to agencies to help the human victims, I still felt that I could not connect or relate to the tragedy on an individual level. Then I passed by a soaked, bedraggled, and starving cat, and decided that my continuing charity would be distributing street cat food to the Jerusalem feline population, and performing an occasional cat rescue, knowing that I make a difference in their existence on a daily basis.

I do not expect a thank you card from these animals, watching them dig into the food satisfies and gladdens me in ways that I did not think possible. On an otherwise uneventful birthday last year, one of the cats - I had fed her regularly and she disappeared after she gave birth to her litter- presented her almost independent kittens to me, lining them up like the Von Trapp children in The Sound of Music. All five kittens stood politely in a row, while she meowed the equivalent of "this is the Human who will feed you and will take care of you now." The scene moved me to tears.

A cat lover will tell you that animals have a clear sense of the human who will hurt them, and the human who is sympathetic to the cause, an honorary feline. I seem to be broadcasting that billboard, because anywhere I go, in any city in Israel or in the United States, an injured cat will ask me for help, a hungry cat will ask me for food, and a bored cat will ask me for some petting and attention. I take pride in the knowledge that the Universe has blessed me like this, and will continue to enjoy this demi-cat designation.

Don't worry Mom, I do not see pets as a substitute for children and family, and I hope that some day, when I have my own human children, my cats will protect them as their own, as part of the family.

[Check out the "Cats, about Cats, People and Everything in Between" Exhibit at the Eretz Israel Museum in Tel Aviv, through December 31, 2007.]

Harry Potter 7, A New York Story

2007-08-06T05:06:00.000-07:00

I myself cannot take credit for this story, which I relate from my friend Ami in New York, I wanted to share it. She writes:

"I was sitting in my Chiropractor's office the other day, in his waiting room, across from an older couple who were reading his and hers HP7. I was about 200-300 pages ahead of them, and got to page 697 (something like that) and started to tear up, to where I was sniffling a little bit. The man next to me and I had had a conversation about how he was waiting for his 13 year old to finish the book, and when he saw me reach for a Kleenex, he moved away. The woman of the couple across from me said, "Oh I can't take this, I'm sorry," got up and moved away from me as well.

I felt like a new breed of speed reading leper."

Meanwhile, here in Israel, my book club spent a solid half hour discussing whether the Potter series deserves all this attention, or whether it is just another reformulation of the classic Science Fiction/Fantasy genre of good vs evil. Needless to say, we had all read it, many of us instead of the assigned book of the month.

Look at the damage JK Rowling has wrought.

Suana Police (On Being Israeli)

2007-08-06T00:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I stood in line at the bank, quietly and patiently while at least one person cut in line, and several others started yelling at the tellers. When my turn arrived, the teller literally hugged me and thanked me for being so kind and patient, and that he wished he could do something for me, on account of my exceptional behaviour. Other than the embarrassment factor, I was relieved and proud to know that my New England upbringing continues to serve me well.

Flush from the victory of American civility, I revealed my other side, my Israeli side, today. Sitting in the sauna after my swim, I gave a group of 13 year old boys a lecture about how the sauna is not a clubhouse, that the sign clearly says that you must be over 16 to participate in the sweat lodge, and that their parents would be ashamed of them. I did this no less than three times until they actually left and closed the door behind them, and marveled at how I have truly passed into the ritual of being a stodgy grown-up.

My diatribe was not motivated solely by my concern for these boys' blood pressure, nor would I deny that I need to relax in the sauna, and I had personal gain reasons for kicking them out. In Israel, it is an accepted social norm to listen in on other people's conversations and chime in uninvited; to give strangers "constructive criticism" about their mode of dress and any other topic in which we are all, obviously, expert.

I never imagined that I would cross that line, and start disciplining other people's children, though it reveals that in the ten years I have lived here, I not only dream in Hebrew, but also think like an Israeli much more than the American, my place of birth. I fully expect to go to a supermarket and bag my own groceries, and to have my bag checked when I enter any building; and I fully expect that I will be that older woman on the bus who tells the young mother with the crying child that she has gotten it wrong, her child is hungry and not tired, and she ought to do something about it right now.

Anatomy of a Blind Date

2007-08-05T21:58:00.000-07:00

Part I: Short Phone Call (Friday)

I had been expecting a call from "R" for several weeks now, his benefactor had called me several times to tell me how we were "perfect" for each other. R called today, and when I said I had been waiting to hear from him, I heard panic in his voice, as he asked, "Oh, did you get married already?" I explained to him that I was in fact still single, but that he had simply called at a bad time - I don't speak on the cell phone when I drive - and requested that he call me back a few hours later. No word from him the rest of the day.

Part II: The Phone Call (Sunday night)

Right away I could tell that he had taken the Romper Room "How to Win Friends and Communicate Annoyingly" course, because he literally started every sentence by saying my name in a lilting voice ["Doc....PAUSE"], whereupon I was meant to respond with equal enthusiasm and drama ["Yes R...PAUSE"] and only then would he finish his sentence.

He wanted to have a first date over the phone, to ask me enough questions for him to determine whether it was worth his time to meet with me in person. I responded by saying that I don't do dating interviews, and that I can much more easily gage attraction and compatibility if we actually meet in person and share a conversation over a cup of coffee. At that point he asked the most appalling question of all, especially since we had not yet met and there is no relationship to speak of, he said: "Tell me how I must change so that you will like me. Anything that you want me to do or change about myself, I am willing to do."

While I am a firm believer in negotiation and compromise in a healthy relationship, this question indicated a spineless (excuse the Chiropractic pun) and desperate individual who does not know himself, or is at the very least seriously lacking self-confidence. (Not attractive, and surprising for a man who has been built up as a 49 year old successful Israeli Doctor-Lawyer.) I told him right away that on a first date he must bring HIMSELF, because I care much more about his personality and integrity and how we get along, how I feel when I am speaking to him when we are in the same space. He answered that apparently novel request by saying that he was giddy with excitement about our date because I sounded "easy", I seemed to have no expectations and he did not feel threatened. I do not know whether to take that as a compliment or as an insult, and my instinct tells me that this date will be a dog.

Part III: Another Phone Call (Monday)

R called tonight, to confirm our date on Wednesday night of this week. As he does not live in Jerusalem, he asked me to choose a restaurant or coffee house that was intimate and quiet, so he could "hold onto my every word, and not be distracted by anyone or anything." When I asked him how hungry he expected to be, he replied, "I don't need food, I only hunger to meet you." (Ack, not making this up!)

Part IV: The Date that Didn't Happen (Tuesday)

After much consideration, I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to strangle him after spending a short amount of time with him on the phone, I could not pretend to be interested in him in person, just so as not to hurt his feelings. I have learned to respect my instinct, and my instinct - coupled with the hysterical laughter every time I thought of that "hunger" line - said that my time would be better spent elsewhere.

I called him up and told him that I would not be coming to our date this Wednesday, nor would I be finding the time to reschedule it to another time and day. I explained to him that after our various phone conversations, I did not feel that we "clicked." He seemed nonchalant, offering that should it become "relevant" for us to meet each other, I need only call him.

Part V: Moral of the Story

I don't want to remain that fabulous single woman with dating horror stories. Like the story of the man in Toronto who very suddenly, in the middle of a decent date, looked at his watch, jumped out of his chair as if his gluteus maximus were on fire, and said, "Oh god, I am missing the Simpsons." (Another true story.)

I plan on being that happily involved in a long-term relationship woman, who can laugh at my dating past, and who can appreciate and respect myself, for not having wasted the time on men who clearly were not appropriate.

Civilian Service

2007-08-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

Currently in Israel, when a young man or woman reaches the age of 18 and graduates from high school, they have one of four options:
1. Army service, which can last minimally 2-3 years
2. Sherut Leumi (National Service), a volunteer option chosen mostly by religious women who do not want to serve as soldiers in the army
3. Ideological Refusal, for men and women who find the army morally objectionable and refuse to serve and very often get jailed
4. Flee the country for the designated period of time that you would have to serve in the army, and hope that the next time you cross into the border the computer doesn't flag you as a criminal.

A proposed initiative has recommended a new category of Sherut Ezrachi, Civilian Service, which would allow men and women, Israeli and Arab-Israeli, religious and non-religious to volunteer in service of the country, and legally fulfill their army service. Reaction has varied, with the Arab-Israelis claiming that since they could never be treated as equals in Israeli society, they feel no obligation to help, for example, autistic Israeli children. Some of the non religious feel that they would want to volunteer out of personal choice, and not be forced by law to be "nice people." The religious across the board have said that they will do "whatever their Rabbis tell them to do."

Others, who have tried to volunteer, complain that the army is not interested in their service, whether or not there is official law in place, and I can relate. When I first came to Israel, I arrived at the army recruiting office in Jerusalem and presented my professional credentials, and asked to serve as a Chiropractor for soldiers and officers in Tel HaShomer, the army hospital. After a lengthy interview process and security scrutiny, I was told that "budgetary issues" and "ageism" prevented me from serving, apparently they would have had to pay me a decent salary. I would have been willing to forgo the full salary, in order to have a solid answer for my children, when they would ask me one day, "and what did you do in the army?"

So many artificial issues divide Israeli society, including race, Sephardi vs Ashkenazi, Sabra vs Immigrant Israeli, religious vs non religious; the Sherut Ezrachi initiative would remove some of those barriers, and make citizens feel that each person was contributing to the betterment of the country.

In deference to those who regularly serve in army when called up, despite the hassle to their lives and their family, and in honor of those MIAs, dead or alive, who have yet to be returned to us, it is only right that each person do their fair share.

Relative Suffering

2007-07-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

Hobbling around on my ankle yesterday, I bumped into the woman who owns my Pilates studio, and she asked me how I am feeling and I answered "So-so." She knew, because we had discussed it last week, that I received a Grade II Ankle Sprain, and yet I got a five minute lecture about the power of positive thinking, that what I give out is what I get back (some version of the Law of Attraction), and that I need to start being a "half glass full" kind of person.

I have never been a fan of the "children are starving in Africa"/Clean Plate Club speech, nor do I jump for joy when someone tries to comfort me at a time of severe stress with the "G-d only gives us what we can handle" speech. I do believe a la Chaos Theory that there is a larger plan, and that my smallest view of the world cannot possibly take into account all the factors that are in play in a particular situation, and its ripple effect. But let me tell you that as someone who can count on one hand the number of times in my life when I have had a serious injury, this ankle sprain has given me pause for thought.

Since my injury, I have to think every time I get up from a chair, or see a flight of stairs. I had to ask a friend to do my supermarket shopping, because I could not imagine spending more than five minutes on my feet, wandering through a store. I cannot attend another friend's wedding tonight, because no one has room in their car and I am unable to drive. Needless to say, I have not participated in swimming or any substantial movement for the last four days.

I have always had issue with aging and crotchety old people, I would only like to live to 120 if I can do so in well-ness, that I would be able to basically take care of myself and enjoy an active lifestyle. I have also always had issue with asking for help, and if this ankle injury has taught me anything, it has shown me not only that I can ask for the assistance, but that my friends will reply with warmth.

Now we get to play the Relative Suffering game: last week, the same week as my fall, a group of teenagers went out on a hiking trip in the middle of the desert at the heat of the day, with no water. One of them died during the hike, another died within the first 24 hours after the rescue, and several others are in critical condition. In response, their ultra-Orthodox teachers issued a press release stating that their students' physical condition does not concern them, but rather their spiritual health; ultra-Orthodox students on vacation are now advised not to travel around the country because they may be exposed to a "poisonous" secular element. (The article was accompanied by a photo of two ultra-Orthodox men wearing thong bikinis and frolicking in the water, with their guts hanging over. Too much information, and not quite the modesty that their teachers would have preferred.)

Last week, the same week I was tested by my helplessness, a man left his nine month old child in the car, while he went into the car garage, only went back to check on his child when he got a call from his wife; and found his baby dehydrated, with second and third degree burns, dead. The paper, in reporting the funeral of this child, said that the mother complained bitterly, and the father was the only person not crying among the 250 plus attendees of the funeral. I don't expect that marriage to last past the shiva.

So I don't get to complain about my ankle, there are far worse tragedies in my little country, and I should be grateful to be alive. G-d only gives us what we can handle, and what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger; the cliches we invent to make us feel better.

The police have said that they will wait to question the father for negligent homicide until after the week of mourning has concluded, that the family has "suffered enough" with the loss of their child. In this modern life of bureaucracy, you need to take classes and tests for almost everything- gun permits, driver's license, Sororities, professional credentials- yet, there are no tests for becoming a parent, the most difficult and responsible and significant job for any lifetime. Any child after the age of 12 can have sexual relations and get pregnant, bring a child into the world and then, oops, leave it in car to die a horrible drawn out death.

This is not the first story I have heard of parents forgetting their young children in a car, or at home by themselves, leading to their death, nor will it be the last, unfortunately. I have seen people more concerned about their dog, opening a window for them when they leave them in a vehicle.

Our children must come first.

How I Spent my Birthday

2007-07-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

6 am After a series of unsuccessful negotiations, the new boss of the Labour Union decides to show that he can hold the country hostage, especially during tourist season. He declares a general strike, which shuts down: Public and Government offices, the Interior Ministry, the Israel Railway, garbage collection, Outpatient hospital clinics, the electric company (except for essential services), Customs, and the Land Authority. Closure of the Airport, ports and border crossings is delayed by 24 hours.

6:30 am I leave the house and take the bus (which has not been affected by the general strike), to meet my cousins and our merry band of travelers at the train station in Tel Aviv. I print up the bus schedule to Caesaria, just in case we have no other travel option.

8:30 am I meet my cousins and their friend Sarah at the train station, and we need to cross the street in order to get to our bus transfer point. The pedestrian crossing turns to red while we are in the middle of the crosswalk, and we scurry to the other side of the light, whereupon two female policeman pull us over for jaywalking. I get a slap on the wrist, because my last moving violation occurred in 2002, and the police woman starts writing out a ticket (100 shequel) for my cousin, who could only present her with an American driver's license. I explain to her that they are Americans, that they are in fact leaving the country tomorrow, and that we got stuck in the middle of the crossing, with no choice but to move forward. She lets my cousin go, no ticket, but I am instructed to tell him that I saved him from having a criminal record in Israel.

8:45 am While waiting for the last member of our group, a specialty taxi offers to take all seven of us for a single price, door to door service to our destination. Hooray, we travel with air conditioning, in style, for only 35 shequel each.

9:30 am Arrival at Caesaria, and immediately the two stray cats lounging at the front gate use their radar and realize that I would almost rather be spending time with felines than with human beings. They come up to me, and rub up against my leg, as my cousin (who is deathly allergic to cats, can't even breathe the same air as them) starts screaming, "Make them go away!"

9:45 am Forgetting for the moment that I am at an ancient archaeological site, I fall on some random rock formation and twist my left ankle, bruise my entire right side of my body. This is before we are meant to go snorkeling and walk around for several hours.

10:30 am Snorkeling and underwater archaeological tour of the ruins in Caesaria, highly recommended.

12 noon Weariness, salt water inhalation and my ankle is getting worse. We eat lunch.

1 pm Chris Noth, star of Law and Order and Sex in the City , with regular appearances in Israeli shampoo and aftershave ads, walks by our table and sits down for a cup of coffee. Despite the fact that he has sat down, I go over and apologize for disturbing him, and he pretends that he is some random Italian man who understands neither Hebrew or English. I quickly cover by saying, "sorry, you look like a friend of mine," and walk away.

1:30 pm I get birthday cake for dessert, very rich chocolate hazelnut creation. Yum.

2 pm My cousin's wife (pregnant) and I (f**ked up ankle) decide that we would like to see a few more archaeological sites, and then return to their home for a barbecue. She and her husband also realize that there will in fact be a strike tomorrow at the airport, and that they must rush home and pack and hope to get on an earlier flight, before the entire airport closes. We call our original taxi driver, who says we cannot count on him for a ride back, at that price; we scramble to find an alternative solution.

3:15 pm I pass by Chris Noth once again, at the ancient theatre, we smile at each other.

3:30 pm Walking way too much on an ankle that needs to be iced and propped up, perhaps even x-rayed. We find a cab driver who charges us 50 shequel each to take us back to TA. I practically faint in the car from the exhaustion, dehydration and pain.

5 pm Arrive at my cousins' home in Tel Aviv, giant chaos as they pack up the rest of the house in an hour and do a barbecue simultaneously, while I unfortunately, have to sit on my gluteus maximus. I put ice on my food and burst out crying, partially from the pain, partially from the fact that I need medical attention and am being ignored, and partially because doctors make the worst patients. I call a friend of mine who doesn't quite live close by, but has access to a car, and plead with him to pick me up and take me home.

6 pm Pickup, I hobble to his car. (G-d, I hate feeling like an invalid, and I am still learning how to ask for and accept help.)

6:30 pm Sitting in rush hour traffic, feeling nauseous and experiencing a headache, and pain in my legs. I decide that since, in theory, I have been able to put weight on my leg and I don't want to sit for hours with the striking night shift at the hospital, I would rather go home than get an x-ray.

7:45 pm Stop off at pharmacy, pick up brace for ankle and Advil. Today coincidentally is the Best Sale of the Whole F**king Year Sale, so the lines are long, people are pushing me and I almost lose my balance several times. I start to cry so my friend tells me to find a bench somewhere and he will stand on the checkout line.

8 pm Home, must deal with my own cats and unpack and continue to hobble myself into bed and throw some Arnica on the area of inflammation. Self-medicate with a single malt whiskey.

High School Bashing

2007-07-21T12:36:00.001-07:00

Noah Feldman, in his New York Times Magazine article Orthodox Paradox (7/22/07), laces into his Jewish high school experience, and uses the opportunity to rile against Modern Orthodoxy in general. Before I address some of his specific points, I want to point out several facts about the author and Maimonides High School, which I also attended and from which I graduated several years before Mr. Feldman.

Regardless of his many accomplishments as an adult, Mr. Feldman was one of those arrogant teenagers who felt himself above the pack, who got bullied and beaten up on a regular basis in high school. He dated the sister of my best friend, they were the golden couple, both intelligent and attractive, and from wealthy families who invested heavily in the school and served on various executive committees. Indeed, he married a non-Jewish Korean American, and he can hardly be surprised that a Jewish school - whose sole purpose is to imbue generations of Jewish children with Orthodox values - would not trumpet the triumph of intermarriage. Even if Mr. Feldman is close personal friends with President Bush and has a heavy hand as co-architect in America's policy vis a vis the incredibly unpopular war in Iraq.

Frankly, given the multi-cultural atmosphere and population in Israel, if I saw a Jewish man with a Korean woman, my first assumption would be that she had converted, or was adopted by a Jewish family at a young age. Living in this country, you learn that Jews come in different shapes, sizes and colors. Turns out, Mr. Feldman's wife has no intention of converting.

I hated Maimonides, I was one of those kids who operated outside the box, got good grades because I worked at studying, and not because I could goof off until the last minute. When I was in the tenth grade, I took an art course outside the school, at a prestigious program in the Boston area. When they found out that I might be drawing nudes, they ordered me to cease the class immediately, because "good Jewish girls" don't draw nudes. When I applied to college, the college advisor - who resented every moment as a high school administrator and later had a nervous breakdown from the stress - told me that he had sabotaged some of my college applications, because he didn't like me and felt that I didn't deserve to have a choice.

You could not pay me enough money to redo high school, I am far too happy with the person I have become to repeat that suffering.

That being said, I wish to address certain points that Mr. Feldman raises in his article.

"Some part of me still expects - against the judgment of experience - that the individual human beings who make up the institution and community where I spent so many years of my life will put our longstanding friendships ahead of the imperative to define boundaries."

With all respect to his genius, the high school as an institution is made up of individuals who represent the party line. They will support the goals and directives of the institution, in order to maintain consistency of message, in this case the message of Modern Orthodoxy, which admittedly, exists in a gray area relative to other sects of Judaism.

"Senator Joe Lieberman...his run for the vice presidency in 200o put the 'modern' in modern Orthodox, demonstrating that an Orthodox Jewish candidate could be accepted by America at large as essentially a regular guy."

I fear Senator Lieberman as a candidate, not because of his political background and qualifications, but especially because he is a modern Orthodox Jewish candidate; he would then feel the need to bend over backwards to show a distinct lack of favoritism to Jewish and Israeli causes, both local and abroad. Bad for the Jews, bad for Israel and bad for America when someone in a position of power must be reactionary to prove a point.

"One of the best taught me eighth grade English when he was barely out of college himself, before he became a poet, a professor and an important queer theorist."

That would be a reference to my most excellent English teacher, Mr. Wayne Koestenbaum, who wrote a highly acclaimed book about the role of homosexuality in theatre, opera and entertainment. We girls had a crush on him, he had that well-dressed preppy look and opened us up to a world we had never encountered before; we had no idea that he was gay, and frankly, I wouldn't have cared. His book was reviewed by Time and Newsweek and the New York Times, and I have no doubt that the school would disavow knowledge of his sexual preferences.

My brother's best friend from high school - a tall, handsome, and bright person whom I watched grow up - recently came out of the closet, married his non Jewish Spanish partner, and has love and success in his life. I could not be happier for him (at least he managed to find a partner in marriage, good for him!) and again, I have no doubt that when he wins the Nobel Prize, the school would ignore his accomplishments because of his sexual preferences.

As a heterosexual and as a Doctor of Chiropractic, I would like to see any public institution acknowledge that homosexuality is also a genetically encoded trait which manifests itself at birth. I look forward to the day when the gay community does not have to have parades in order to make a statement of acceptability; call me a prude, but I believe that bedroom activities should remain private for everyone. Our planet has not arrived in that place yet, not among the Jews and not among other religions.

"Yigal Amir, the assassin of Yitzchak Rabin, was a modern Orthodox Jew...In 1994, Baruch Goldsten massacred 29 worshipers in the mosque atop the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron. An American born physician, Goldstein attended a prominent modern Orthodox Jewish day school in Brooklyn..."

Noah Feldman is no better than the anti-Semites in the movie "Borat" or the anti-Israel groups that proliferate the planet. Not every modern Orthodox Jew is an assassin or a murderer, the same is true for Muslims and Christians and aliens from space. True, it is easier to call upon known examples and generalize to a larger group, but I would expect better from a "scholar" such as Mr. Feldman claims to be.

"Our life choices are constitutive of who we are, and so different life choices would have made us into different people - not unrecognizably different, but palpably, measurably so."

Feldman states that he loves his wife, his children and the professional choices he has made; apparently he still needs that high school stamp of approval to assuage his insecurities. If Noah can accept that life derives from our choices, and claims that he is happy, then he must accept that his choices make it unacceptable to publicly laud his behaviour in an academic institution that seeks to preserve a particular and religious way of life.

Speed Reader

2007-07-21T09:25:00.001-07:00

I have been a Speed Reader since the second grade, not to be confused with my childhood literary hero, "Easy Reader", as played by Morgan Freeman on The Electric Company. Dressed in my party outfit and waiting for my parents' guests to arrive, I finished an entire Nancy Drew book in less than a half hour; totally absorbed and scanning the text, I hadn't noticed the adults milling around with their drinks and their appetizers until I had finished the book.

This changed slightly in graduate school, when my mind would get stuck on the more complex and crucial medical terminology, as I forced myself to read more slowly, to make sure not to miss information. I have over time, however, developed another nasty reading habit, which I employ most liberally with murder mysteries and fiction: I read the last chapter before I start the rest of the book. Yikes, you're thinking, doesn't that ruin the suspense? Yes it does, and it is a remnant of my Type A control-freak behaviour, I need to know the ending so I can spot the clues to the resolution in the rest of the text.

Of course you don't need this methodology when reading the works of Charles Dickens, because every ending is the same: "And when the author fulfilled his word requirement, it turned out that the sad waif hungry orphan boy was really the son of the Duke, he married his true love who was able to look past the sad waif hungry circumstances of his life, and they raised proper Victorian children." When I speed read, I must get through the first 50 pages in order to capture my interest; I don't think I have ever gotten past the first 50 pages of any Dickens novel, even when I had to read it in high school.

Today, I stood on line - though not in costume - in anticipation to receive the last book in the Harry Potter series. In my excitement, the pre-order reserve form has been taped to my front door for the last three days. I read the New York Times review, which did not give away any spoilers, those bastards...

I now hold the book in my hand (the British version) and have a most important decision to make: do I read the epilogue first?

Duh, of course I do.

Confessions of a Former TV Addict

2007-07-21T05:24:00.000-07:00

While flipping channels yesterday, I came upon the latest reincarnation of Power Rangers and realized that the current Black Ranger, "Dr. Tommy O" is actually meant to be a wink so to speak to fans of the older show; Tommy, the pony-tailed Green Ranger who then became the White Ranger, was always my favorite and my faith in him has been justified; apparently he has achieved higher learning and become a professor and continues to fight evil, even as a grown-up.

Who could forget the political correctness of the original show, five teenagers representing the full spectrum of American society, though somewhat clothed in a less than politically correct way: Zack, the black kid, was the Black Ranger, Trini, the Asian, received the color yellow. The Red Ranger represented the white trash sector of the population, Billy the Blue Ranger represented the geeks, and Kimberly was all girl as the Pink Ranger. Kitch thrived in this show, and in its cousins, shows like Transformers, Thundercats, and that cross country race show where the only character I remember is Penelope Pitstop, who drove the pink girlie car.

Kitch defined lots of the television I watched during my formative and impressionable years, and I fully admit to watching way too much television. The Sunday morning ritual for my brother and myself gave my parents a chance to sleep in, as we were glued to the idiot box from 5:30 to 10 am, starting with classics likes Bugs Bunny and Road Runner, and Rocky and Bullwinkle - who taught me literature and opera and politics - and continuing on with cartoon like shows with terrible pre-CGI graphics.

That was its appeal, we knew that this did not represent reality, that each scene was filmed with little models later available at the toy store, that acting was not required, but rather extreme and deadly overacting. To this day, I would choose Captain Kirk over Captain Picard. Kirk overacted, broke all the rules, convinced computers to self-destruct by showing them their feelings, and got all the women; all this with a gut that would be unacceptable on television today. Picard, played by a gifted Shakespearean actor, ordered tea. Recently, watching a rerun of an original Trek show, the ship gets hit by an enemy vessel and the crew on the bridge starts flinging themselves around; if you look carefully, several of the extras are doing cartwheels on the set, celebrating their red shirt status. Now that is classic television.

These days, as a result of my toxic overexposure to television as a child, I have become quite selective of the television I do watch, and frankly, with the pace of my real grown up life, I have very little time during the week to zone out. As a Law and Order fan, I have no problem seeing former Senator Fred Thompson become President, he has more experience than Barack Obama, and inspires the kind of confidence and bravado that should keep the international community in line.

My one nasty television vice involves Survivor, the world stops when I watch that show, one of the first venues on television that exposed the greed and baseness of human nature (if you don't count the game show, Let's Make a Deal). I watch it as a sociologist, observing the depths of deception to which people are willing to go for money, and realize that perhaps my "Lord of the Flies" view of the world has some justification.

My friends tell me I should try out for the show, that I have the athleticism and brains to get far, maybe even win the million dollars. I hate to admit it, but I have become spoiled by basic creature comforts, and could not see myself living for 40 days without a shower, a steady supply of food and a good night's sleep. Gone are the days when I could go camping for several weeks, and stop paying attention to body odor. Besides which, as a scientist who has studied the data of Survivor, I know that the strong woman makes it to the jury but does not get the million dollars; ultimately, it's a man's world in TV land, and they won't allow a woman to out-sport them, or out-class them.

Unless you distract the men with a fantastic set of breasts...